REVIEW: Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink

Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink Can

It’s too bad that ice cream truck music doesn’t play when I open this Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink can because it captures the flavor of the popular frozen novelty. Although, it’s not perfect.

This isn’t Monster’s first product with this sweet, citrusy taste profile. That would be from the Reign Total Body Fuel line, which I haven’t tried, so I can’t compare. But it wouldn’t be a fair comparison since the Reign line is sugar free and this is (reads 28 grams of sugar in the Nutrition Facts) definitely not.

So what’s the deal with the Monster Reserve labeling? Is this fancy Monster that’s been aged in oak barrels? Is this Monster made with a special recipe that only a select few got to try at private tasting sessions in an underground energy drink cellar where to enter you had to say the password, which I assume is some crazy trick combo in Tony Hawk Pro Skater?

Sadly, no. Here’s what the company says about it on its website, “No juice, tea, coffee or any tweaks to the energy blend. Monster Reserve is straight-up original Monster in new amazing flavors. It’s the ideal combo of the right ingredients in the right proportion to deliver the big bad buzz that only Monster can.”

So it’s a regular Monster, but in a different flavor. Okay. Cool.

But here’s the thing, it’s not exactly a regular Monster, but in a different flavor. Although it’s not sugar-free, I get an aftertaste that reminds me of energy drinks that are. And that’s because there’s Sucralose in it, which I’m pretty sure “straight-up original Monster” doesn’t have, and I find it odd that it’s in this.

Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink Glass

While the aftertaste is unexpected, it’s not off-putting and everything before is delightful. First off, it smells soooo good. It’s like I’m trying to eat an actual orange Dreamsicle with my nose. Then there’s the orange sherbet and cream flavor that excites my taste buds and makes me wish I could get my caffeine via an ice cream bar on a stick.

But, again, once that fades, I’m left with an artificial sweetener-enhanced aftertaste that reminds me a bit of orange-flavored medicine tablets. As someone who enjoys Monster’s Ultra line, I’m okay with other sweeteners. But in this, it creates a slightly disappointing end that’s inconsistent with this energy drink’s delicious and sugary beginning.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 360 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of sugar (including 28 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 160 milligrams of caffeine.

NOT FOOD: Cheetos Scented Nail Polish

Cheetos Scented Nail Polish

If you wear this on your feet or hands, I will ask you if I can sniff your nails. It’s not a fetish or anything weird like that. It’ll get weird when I ask you if you happen to have the Cheetos nail polish on you, and if you do, ask if I can take an unusually long sniff that’s so lengthy that it makes you uncomfortable. (Spotted by Robbie at Claire’s.)

SPOTTED (SEASONAL EDITION): 10/20/2022

Here are some new seasonal products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of them, share your thoughts in the comments.

Canada Dry 2022 Winter Mini Can Variety Pack
Canada Dry 2022 Winter Mini Can Variety Pack

(Spotted by RaveGyrl at Sam’s Club.)

Galerie Star Wars The Mandalorian Holiday Countdown Milk Chocolates 2022
Galerie Star Wars The Mandalorian Holiday Countdown Milk Chocolates 2022

(Spotted by Robbie at Target.)

Frankford The Elf on the Shelf Holiday Countdown Calendar 2022
Frankford The Elf on the Shelf Holiday Countdown Calendar 2022

(Spotted by Robbie at Target.)

Hershey s Kisses Milk Chocolate Holiday Calendar 2022
Hershey’s Kisses Milk Chocolate Holiday Calendar 2022

(Spotted by Robbie at Target.)

Lindt Advent Calendar 2022
Lindt Advent Calendar 2022

(Spotted by Robbie at Costco.)

Clever Candy Pumpkin Spice  Everything Nice and Thankful for Milk Chocolate Bars
Clever Candy Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice and Thankful for Milk Chocolate Bars
Clever Candy Gooey Ghouls Milk Chocolate Caramel Filled Bar and Trick or Treat Milk Chocolate Bar
Clever Candy Gooey Ghouls Milk Chocolate Caramel Filled Bar and Trick or Treat Milk Chocolate Bar
Clever Candy Day of the Dead Skull  Bones Milk Chocolate Bar and Sugar Free Peppermints
Clever Candy Day of the Dead Skull & Bones, Milk Chocolate Bar, and Sugar Free Peppermints
Clever Candy Mummy Mints Sugar Free Peppermints
Clever Candy Mummy Mints Sugar Free Peppermints

(Spotted by Robbie at Central Market.)

Herbert s Best Spooky Gummi Eyez
Herbert’s Best Spooky Gummi Eyez

(Spotted by Robbie at World Market.)

Astor Chocolate Peanuts Give Thanks Dark Chocolate Bar
Astor Chocolate Peanuts Give Thanks Dark Chocolate Bar

(Spotted by Robbie at Central Market.)

Truffettes de France Dark Chocolate Peppermint Marshmallow
Truffettes de France Dark Chocolate Peppermint Marshmallow

(Spotted by Robbie at World Market.)

SPOTTED: Hidden Valley Ranch Bugles

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Melts

Pizza Hut Melts Pepperoni Lover s

Pizza Hut’s new Melts appear to be its attempt to offer a menu item that’s similar to Papa John’s Papadias, which I assume have been popular since they’re still around and now can be crusted with cheese or pepperoni. They’re both basically pizza sandwiches for one person. Although, if you’re a Pizza Hut PHan (I assume that’s what they’re called), you might think Papadias are Papa John’s take on the P’Zone. But that’s another story for another never.

Pizza Hut says the Melts feature two slices of its Thin N’ Crispy crust loaded with toppings and cheese, folded over using basic crust origami, and baked to melty perfection. It’s available in four varieties — Pepperoni Lover’s, Meat Lover’s, Chicken Bacon Parmesan, and Buffalo Chicken — but I only purchased the first three listed for this review.

Pizza Hut Melts Meat Lover s
Pizza Hut Melts Meat Lover’s
Pizza Hut Melts Chicken Bacon Parmesan
Pizza Hut Melts Chicken Bacon Parmesan

(No disrespect, Buffalo Chicken. While Melts are made for one, they have the nutrition numbers for three. Yes, I did buy three of the four, but I guess 79 total grams of saturated fat is my limit.)

Also, each one comes with a dipping sauce — ranch for the chicken varieties and marinara for the other two.

Pizza Hut Melts Crust Seasoning

The top crust is sprinkled with parmesan oregano seasoning, which is something I didn’t expect nor something I read in the press release. It adds a little cheesy and herbacious flavor if you decide to take bites sans the dipping sauce, but I don’t recommend skipping the marinara or ranch. (I’ll bring that up later.) The top is also pleasantly crispy, but not so much when it comes to the unseasoned bottom crust.

Pizza Hut Melts Bottom Crust

Pizza Hut Melts Innards

When I peeled back the carb cover, it was surprising that the filling wasn’t the equivalent of smooshing two fully-topped pizza slices together. So “loaded with toppings and cheese” might not be totally accurate. Of course, there’s a chance that mine were made wrong.

Pizza Hut Melts Pepperoni Lover s Innards
Pizza Hut Melts Pepperoni Lover’s Innards
Pizza Hut Melts Meat Lover s Innards
Pizza Hut Melts Meat Lover’s Innards
Pizza Hut Melts Chicken Bacon Parmesan Innards
Pizza Hut Melts Chicken Bacon Parmesan Innards

Even though they weren’t what I hoped “loaded” would be, there still was a noticeable amount of toppings and cheese, and eating one was filling. But the dipping sauces are necessary to turn the Melts into flavorful experiences since there’s none in them. Without the marinara or ranch, these are a bit bland, especially the Chicken Bacon Parmesan.

Pizza Hut Melts Sauce Dip

Pizza Hut’s Melts seem to be the chain’s way to sell you folded pizza slices, and there’s nothing really unique flavor-wise, especially with the Pepperoni and Meat Lover’s varieties.

Now I can see how some might think I’m down on these, but I really did enjoy their crispiness and flavors when the sauce was involved. However, while great to experience once, I’m not sure I’d buy these over a cheaper and less nutritional eye-popping Personal Pan Pizza if I want something meant for one from Pizza Hut.

Purchased Price: $9.49 each*
Size: n/a
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 melt) Pepperoni – 1150 calories, 62 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 165 milligrams of cholesterol, 2660 milligrams of sodium, 95 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 53 grams of protein. Meat Lover’s – 1100 calories, 59 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 130 milligrams of cholesterol, 2700 milligrams of sodium, 93 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 49 grams of protein. Chicken Bacon Parmesan – 1170 calories, 70 grams of fat, 27 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 130 milligrams of cholesterol, 2400 milligrams of sodium, 86 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 49 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did. The advertised price is $6.99.

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