REVIEW: Mtn Dew Cake-Smash

Mtn Dew Cake Smash Can

Mtn Dew Cake-Smash was supposed to come out last year for Mountain Dew’s 80th birthday. But, well, you know, let’s just say it was not a year for celebrating.

And, yes, it’s a bit odd that a beverage marketed to the younger crowd is ancient.

Anyhoo, the brand International Olympic Committee-d it and released it a year after it was supposed to. There was a limited amount to purchase via Mtn Dew’s online store, which predictably sold out within a few hours.

Mtn Dew was kind enough to send samples of the “Dew with a rush of artificial cake flavor,” and after tasting it, I have to say, if Cake-Smash came out last year, it would’ve been a bright spot of 2020. Instead, it’s a 2021 highlight. Actually, it’s a top highlight of my Mtn Dew drinking years.

If you ever get a chance to try it, you’ll probably say something that involves an expletive. Because, holy expletive, this tastes like lemon cake with frosting, and it is Y-U-M-M-I-E. I mean, it’s so good that it makes me forget how to spell.

Mtn Dew Cake Smash Glass

Although it doesn’t specifically say “birthday cake,” it was created to celebrate a birthday. So I assumed, like with birthday cake-flavored products, it would be either vanilla or chocolate cake. Of course, that was stupid because it’s a Dew, after all. Despite not being what’s considered “birthday cake” in the processed foods universe, I have to say Mtn Dew Cake-Smash captures cake flavor better than most “birthday cake” products.

I don’t know if this will ever make it into brick-and-mortar stores. But I’m going to suggest that it should, and not because I want to make a soda cake with it.

Even though I got samples, I think Cake-Smash is so wonDEWrful that I’m seriously considering spending more than one should on a six-pack on eBay. Or I could just copy and paste the following and direct it to Mtn Dew’s social media accounts every single day until Cake-Smash is in stores.

Hey @MountainDew! Don’t be a Dew Dew Head! Let me buy Cake-Smash in stores!

Childish? Yes. Will I get blocked by Mtn Dew on social media? Probably. Will I be put on a blacklist that prevents me from getting free Mtn Dew samples from now on? Probably. Is Mtn Dew Cake-Smash worth the effort? Oh, most definitely. It’s DEWlightful.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: Received from Mtn Dew
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 220 calories, 0 grams of fat, 75 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 58 grams of sugar, 58 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Birthday Cake Kit Kat

Birthday Cake Kit Kat

What is Birthday Cake Kit Kat?

This limited edition Kit Kat features frosting-flavored white crème and rainbow sprinkles.

How is it?

Artificial birthday cake flavor has its fans and its detractors, but, despite its arguable overuse, I am definitely a fan. The rich sweetness and pops of color always evoke childhood memories of opening a fresh can of Funfetti frosting — and plunging a spoon into its creamy depths.

However, I write this review now as a sophisticated adult who eats vegetables of her own accord and no longer considers Lunchables to be “unpretentious charcuterie boards.” (Okay, only most of this sentence is true some of the time.)

Nowadays, I enjoy birthday cake flavor mostly in smaller doses and when it is paired with a complementary flavor or texture. If you like Birthday Cake Oreo Cookies, but thought Birthday Cake Hershey’s Kisses left something to be desired, then we might be of the same icing ilk.

Birthday Cake Kit Kat Wafers

Birthday Cake Kit Kat meets this most important criterion, as its crispy wafer insides pair well with the sweet white crème coating. The crème’s frosting-inspired flavor is spot on. I detected a hint of buttery taste that is often lacking in other birthday cake products that rely too heavily on sugar and artificial coloring as substitutes for flavor.

Birthday Cake Kit Kat Fingers

The rainbow nonpareils stand out beautifully against the white crème coating, giving the candy a cheery, fun appearance. They also provide a bit of extra crunch, which is not evident in every bite. Initially worried that the sprinkles would overwhelm the product and result in a gritty texture, I was pleased with their subtle effect.

The only thing I did not like about this Kit Kat is that the oil in the coating left a feeling of “mouth coat” that I haven’t experienced with other Kit Kat products.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Celebrating its 85th anniversary of production this year, Kit Kat has experienced a recent renaissance, with the release of its Duos line and lemon and raspberry seasonal varieties — all of which I have really enjoyed. With more flavors rumored for release this year, Kit Kat is proving an old dog can learn new tricks.


Birthday Cake Kit Kat executes a familiar flavor perfectly and enhances both texture and flavor with rainbow sprinkles. Kit Kat fans and frosting fiends will celebrate having another reason to visit the candy aisle.

Purchased Price: 88 cents
Size: 1.5 oz (42 g)

Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 220 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake

Cool Whip Mix Ins Birthday Cake

What is Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake?

Cool Whip is the kind of product that you notice when it’s not there. No, not in the good “Oh, my God we don’t have any Cool Whip? This is a disaster!” kind of way. It’s the “Oh! We have real whipped cream instead of Cool Whip? Nice!” kind of way. Everyone wants the real thing but will be fine with the tub of Cool Whip that’s been sitting in the freezer since last Thanksgiving.

Kraft Heinz Foods is trying to change that by introducing new varieties of the ubiquitous dessert topping, and its latest is Cool Whip Mix-ins Birthday Cake.

How is it?

I didn’t know what to expect from this product. Birthday cake frosting can have an overpowering sweetness, and bad frosting always leaves a waxy residue on your tongue. Neither would be welcome on top of my pie. Plus, how will the sprinkles work in this context? Will I have a bunch of loose sprinkles in my mouth once the Cool Whip has dissolved? There’s a conspicuous lack of pie in my house right now, so I’ll have to try this eat this with a spoon. A finger would be more typical for me, but I decided to bring out the good silver for this review.

Cool Whip Mix Ins Birthday Cake Spooned

I think this Cool Whip would work just as well on top a piece of pie as a spoon (or finger) because its flavor is subtle enough not to overwhelm anything. It has a distinct taste that’s really reminiscent of a birthday cake but won’t turn your mom’s famous apple pie into a monstrous birthday-pie hybrid. The sprinkles are more than coloring but dissolve quickly and without any waxy residue.

Is there anything else you need to know?

There are a lot of new flavors popping up these days, and I’m getting a bit confused. What exactly is unicorn flavor? Is cotton candy flavor more than just sugar? And what’s the difference between cake batter and birthday cake flavor? More importantly, how do manufacturers decide what to call their new stylishly mysterious concoctions when there are so many options?

Cool Whip Mix Ins Birthday Cake Top

In this case, the Cool Whip people knew that one option was off the table: unicorn. You know why. C’ mon. I can’t be the only one thinking it. Cool Whip Birthday Cake Mix-ins is exactly what unicorn… excreta.. would look like.

Yes, unicorns are sacred, majestic, and importantly, not real animals, but they’re theoretically biological entities and need to undergo the natural biological processes such as waste removal. Now that I’ve put the thought in your head, enjoy Cool Whip Mix-ins Birthday Cake! It’s good!


Cool Whip’s newest flavor threads the needle of being distinct enough from regular Cool Whip to be an enjoyable novelty without overpowering whichever dessert it’s topping.

Purchased Price: $1.84
Size: 8 oz. tub
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 tbsp) 25 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 2g of Total Sugars, 2 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp Cereal

Limited Edition Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp Cereal

I think that it’s pretty much every kid’s dream to get to eat dessert for breakfast every morning. At the same time, I think that it’s also pretty much every parent’s dream to get their kids to eat something at least somewhat nutritious before they load them onto the school bus.

Luckily for sugar-hungry kids and sleep-deprived parents everywhere, Cookie Crisp is here to bridge the gap! With cookies for the kids and 12 vitamins and minerals to keep the parents happy, who can complain, right?

Since they’ve already succeeded in bringing miniature chocolate chip cookies into the cereal bowls of millions of kids everywhere, Cookie Crisp has seemingly set its sights on an entirely new confection to cereal-ize: birthday cake!

After unsealing the bag to appreciate the aroma of freshly-opened cereal, I have to say, this is one of the most delicious smelling cereals I’ve ever bought! It literally smells like an ice cream parlor, and it made me super excited to have a bowl of these crispy cake-flavored-cookies as my post-workout snack.

Limited Edition Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp Cereal 2

Weighing out a proper portion quickly quieted any excitement that I had, though. I’ve never really thought about it much before, but 26 grams of cereal is so small! It barely even fills my cereal bowls halfway. If you’re eating this as a meal, expect to double or triple the serving size, along with the nutrition facts.

Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp looks the same as regular Cookie Crisp, only it seems that it’s traded the usual chocolate bits on the cereal for a sprinkling of Fruity Pebbles dust instead.

Limited Edition Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp Cereal 3

I decided to eat a handful of them by themselves before I poured milk into the rest of my bowl, and any anticipation that I may have had left quickly dissipated. They don’t taste like birthday cake at all! The flavor of the corn completely overpowered everything else, and all I tasted was a generic cereal!

I mean, it’s not awful or anything, but it doesn’t taste different from anything else out there. Certainly not like the cookie-cake-cereal hybrid that I was promised. Eating the cereal with milk nuances the intensity of the corn flavor, but it still doesn’t bring out any cake flavor.

If I hadn’t seen the box before eating this, I would just tell you I was eating regular cereal puffs or something. In brief, this is one limited edition item that’s not worth your trouble to seek out.

Limited Edition Birthday Cake Cookie Crisp Cereal 4

It does work to make some pretty good miniature ice cream sandwiches with, though. Just sayin’.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup without milk – 100 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 19.8 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Smells delicious! Decent cereal in its own right. Holds up well in milk.
Cons: Doesn’t remind me of either birthday cake or cookies. Most generic-tasting cereal ever.

REVIEW: Fiber One Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bar

Fiber One Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bar

Having eaten a lot of stuff from Fiber One over the years, I’ve always felt that it seems to specialize in what I like to call “Dieter’s Delights.” That is, it makes treats that only seem delightful if you’re already depriving yourself of everything else that could even remotely be considered indulgent.

Nowhere is this appeal to the calorie-conscious more apparent than in Fiber One’s new Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bars. After all, what kind of dieter could possibly allow themselves a slice of fiberless, fattening cake, when Fiber One promises to deliver as much flavor and enjoyment for only 90 calories AND with 5 grams of fiber to boot? Being the Birthday Cake queen that I am, I opted to buy the value pack of 12 individually wrapped bars, figuring that these would be right up my alley.

The first thing I noticed about these baby-cake-bars is that they’re small. Like, really small. They’re two, maybe three bites at most, and I actually took a picture of one of them next to a quarter so that you can get a good idea of how small I’m talking here.

Fiber One Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bar 2

Looking at them, I can clearly tell they’re supposed to be emulating Funfetti cake, although the hue of the sprinkles in the bars themselves look noticeably more anemic than they do on the box. The “frosting” (or lack thereof) is a measly tangle of sugar-drizzle that makes me think that my cakes might have gotten caught under a dripping conveyor belt of freshly-frosted Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Size and cake-nakedness aside, they certainly smell delicious! They have a delicate, sweet vanilla scent that reminds me of any boxed mix that you’d be likely to whip up at home. But, at the end of the day, taste is what matters most in any baked good, and Fiber One delivers here. The bars taste like a yummy (albeit tiny) square of yellow cake, and they’re as good as any other snack cake that you would find prepackaged at the grocery store.

They’re a bit on the dense side, but I actually kind of dig that, especially with the crunch of the icing drizzle and the Funfetti sprinkles there to give some variation to the overall texture. I’m still finding the size on these guys to be a problem, though. I find myself wanting to eat three or four to feel like I’ve had a satisfying treat.

Fiber One Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bar 3

Ah, well, since I bought the value pack, I figured that I may as well set about rectifying the size and frosting issues by whipping up a quick batch of buttercream frosting and assembling eight of the bars together into a little Fiber One-inspired cake. NOW this is an indulgence! Diet-friendly? Probably not, considering that my buttercream has three cups of powdered sugar in it. But, delicious? Oh, you better believe it!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar (25 grams) – 90 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.98
Size: 10.6 oz. (12 bars)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: BIRTHDAY CAKE! Calorie-conscious treat! Delicious when assembled into an actual cake!
Cons: Not nearly enough frosting. One bar is just a tease. The resulting assembled cake not being diet-friendly.