REVIEW: Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt

Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt

There are so many things I don’t know. Like where Atlantis went. Or why they cancelled Legends of the Hidden Temple. Or why so many words starting with “x” sound like they should start with “z.”

It is in the fog of such mental eclipses that I become aware that I need some brain food to clear my mind. Fortunately, the folks at Ben and Jerry’s have taken heed to the call for quality brain food by expanding their line of Greek Frozen yogurt. Thus, with four bucks and a clean spoon, I set out on my Odyssey to the fluorescent depths of the freezer section, where I stared with big, lugubrious eyes at the array of compassionate new pints. Luckily, unlike Homer’s version, this Odyssey did not end in the violent murders of dozens of male courters. On the contrary: it ended in caramel. Caramel and vanilla.

Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt Untouched Pint

Ah, yes, sitting there like freshly fallen snow.

Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt Money Shot

And that’s the money shot, people: vanilla Greek frozen yogurt with a honey caramel swirl.

I go for the base first and it holds a vanilla yogurt tang, with the vanilla coming in as the forerunner in flavor. I’m happy to discover that any metallic artificial vanilla flavorings have been sent to the dry cleaners and then destroyed by said metaphorical dry cleaning machine. At the same time, the vanilla here comes from extract and, well, it’s just ho-hum. It’s still pretty good, but, if my old friend vanilla bean were to show up, he would be welcome.

Probiotics have always made me nervous. They sound like mutant slugs that emerged from the dank sewers and are now dragging their limp bodies through the city streets, leaving a trail of sludge behind. Where did these little bacteria come from? Where are they on the evolution scale? What do they want with my dairy products??

Well, at this moment, I don’t care as 1) I see no traces of mutant slugs in this pint and 2) I’m about 87 percent positive that those little microscopic organisms are responsible for this ever-so-slight tang that comes at the end of all the layers of sweetness in this yogurt, giving it a taste that is not unlike cannoli filling. In fact, if you put this in an ice cream cone, it’s arguable that you’ve got a pretty good 2-second cannoli-like treat in your ravenous paws.

As with most frozen yogurts, this pint gets soft quicker than the time it takes for a jackrabbit to chase down an armadillo in a canoe rowing down the Mississippi River, which, for those who may not have seen this sight [yet], would be really, really fast. I dig this consistency. Just a slight 5-10 minute defrost allows the yogurt to become as fluffy as those 125-dollar pillows. Only this is in a tub. And not made of cotton. And it tastes good, so nevermind. It’s nothing like pillows.

Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt Bowl of Yumminess

Desserts with caramel tend to hold the risk of being overpowered by caramel’s strong sweetness, but this holds a pleasant light caramel flavor without becoming toffee-like or burnt. The caramel itself has a good pull and cuts like butta’, a texture which I came to appreciate as it made it a cinch to scoop lots on one’s spoon. At various points, you may found yourself hitting glorious globs of this honey caramel swirl. If you get a big enough caramel blob, you may receive the unique experience of honey oozing from the caramel’s core. This honey is of the nonaggressive variety, bringing a sugary sweetness without smacking one in the face like a field of pollen.

Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt Caramel Glob

Looks like something worthy of MoMA.

Ben and Jerry’s is known for taking ice cream alchemy and transfusing it with imagination; pushing the boundaries of what we believe ice cream can be and flipping it on its dairy-filled backside; and for stuffing 473 milliliters of chocolate fish and marshmallow crème into a cardboard cylinder.

This isn’t one of those ice creams.

It is, however, a vessel of agency. This time, they’re letting we [the consumers] stuff our bowls with mix-ins to our own discretion, and, boy howdy, is this hankerin’ for some mix-ins. Perhaps some Oreo cone pieces? Or chocolate covered pretzels? Or Sriracha Potato Chips? I dunno. Go crazy. Watch the walls of this Ice Cream Coliseum crumple at your feet.

In a world of unknowns, this pint’s pretty straightforward. It’s not cutting edge or froo-froo Magoo. It’s just vanilla and honey caramel and doesn’t try to be anything greater. I like it that way. While it doesn’t wow me enough to slide out my chocolate favorites, it’s a pretty good contender if I’m looking for a honey frozen yogurt.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup [99 g] – 190 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugars, and 6 grams of protein.)

Item: Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Honey Caramel Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Simple. Fluffy texture. Caramel everywhere. Nonaggressive honey. Nice balance of tang and sweetness. Good vessel for mix-ins. 2-second cannoli. Doesn’t try to be anything greater than it is. Finding a reason to use the word “lugubrious.” Jackrabbits chasing armadillos.
Cons: Melts dangerously fast. Ho-hum vanilla. No exciting mix-ins. Might be kinda boring to some. Sludge monsters. The canceling of Legends of the Hidden Temple.

REVIEW: Healthy Choice Vanilla Bean Greek Frozen Yogurt

Healthy Choice Vanilla Bean Greek Frozen Yogurt

Winter is coming.

And now is the time to prepare.

Because, alongside the vanishing flip-flops, shorter days, and temporary extinction of Super Soakers comes the Annual Freezer Hibernation, that distressing time of year when the ice cream companies swipe the shelves of their limited-time summer bounties, taking with them their Samoas and S’mores as the Good Humor Trucks mosey out into the weary horizon with the anticipation of a predicted dip in ice cream consumption.

However, I also know that, within this magnificent world, there exists a league of talented individuals: the few, the proud, the bat-crazy, dairy-lovin’, cream-o-vore daredevils who dive into the comforting frozen dairy treat smack in the middle of a snowstorm February.

If you happen to look like a forlorn bulldog on the night of the winter solstice as you press your face to the glass in the frozen dessert aisle, fear not, oh wonderful cream-lovin’ crazy! Hope may just be on the horizon! For it seems that those Healthy Choice humans are setting aside their microwave ways and diving into the world of frozen yogurt.

In my domineering obsessions for chocolate and peanut butter, seldom do I gush about the glories of vanilla, and yet vanilla has a certain flexibility and persistence that allows it to transcend the average, holding strong as the backdrop to a barrage of toppings. Fudge, fruit, cones, cups, cookies, and cravings of all sorts can meander their way into vanilla and create a brand new concoction and transform the simple, delicate flavor of vanilla into a new creation.

Healthy Choice Vanilla Bean Greek Frozen Yogurt Cup

As a result, I’m guilty of plundering the humble vanilla bean with an abundance of other toppings, mixing and melding and masking away at the taste of the gentle black flower. I decided last week that it has been for too long that I have swept vanilla into the passenger seat. For my first tasting, I am going to let the yogurt stand alone, void of decoration or ornaments.

Healthy Choice Vanilla Bean Greek Frozen Yogurt Warning

Come with me, little non-microwavable vanilla ice cream cup, and let us see if the world will smile.

First off, my freezer is so cold it could freeze a bottle of vodka into a stone, so I’m going to set this first cup out for about 15 minutes so as to allow the ice cream melt into the “semi-melt” stage, which might be described as “gloopy” if gloopy were a word. But feel free to defrost to your own liking due to the strength of your freezer and the breadth of your inner ice cream patience (mine happens to be a very short).

(And she dives in with the multi-colored spoon)


My past experience with vanilla ice cream tends to put my taste buds into a state of melancholy despair, leaving my mouth coated in a film of milky vanilla water, but this! This tastes of hope! Hope with hints of honey and caramel! And it even holds a tang that tinges on…is that cheesecake?? Because, if it is, he’s welcome to the join the parade.

With the addition of Greek yogurt, I feared this tang would snake its way into the realm of sour, but I was pleasantly surprised to find it’s quite a diplomatic tang: neither too strong nor too soft. Thank you, dear vanilla bean, for resolving your flavor contrasts in such a peaceful and delicious manner.

A main kick that knocks me off the ice cream cart is the presence of freezer burn as it invades across the spine of an overly whipped and/or overly watery ice cream landscape. Not so for these little cups. They’re dad-gum creamy. Daisy, the happy Healthy Choice cow, should be pleased with her work here.

Healthy Choice Vanilla Bean Greek Frozen Yogurt Closeup

Look at that creamy goodness (yup, those are little bitty vanilla bean specks).

Some ice creams make you feel sad, frumpy, and powerless, but not these bounties. Standing at 100 calories per cup, each vanilla-studded miracle has four grams of protein, and even have 10 percent calcium, thus giving you the right to celebrate with flips on the monkey bars with your calcium-fortified bones. What’s more, you’re equipped with three bowls of that empowerment to charge you forth during the rest of your day, and, indeed, you should eat all three: recent studies show that eating Greek frozen yogurt will make you a movie star, which may or may not be something I just made up. I’ll let you decide…

One of the elements that distinguishes the human being from the platypus is the human’s ability to undergo the artist’s cycle of the creation and destruction, and, while I sometimes wish I were a semi-aquatic mammal, I could not be more grateful for this ability as I decided to exploit that human skill on a second tasting. I went with a cone option and melted a little chocolate inside the cone to create a candy shell. I then emptied out the Healthy choice ice cream on that sucker and crunched in. It was divine. Of course, the possibilities don’t stop at cones. You could add some toasted hazelnuts and fudge or strawberries and balsamic vinegar. Or make an ice cream sandwich. Or an affogato. Add ginger cookies. Rainbow chip cookies. Relish in your creative capacity! For three whole cups! Create! Destroy! Repeat!

Since it was hanging around before the Aztecs, I imagine the vanilla bean to be a flower of great wisdom, and the benevolence of the simple flavor present in this frozen yogurt spreads that wisdom, reminding me that nothing need be pushy or aggressive to be strong. With the outgoing supply of summer ice creams, I’m relieved to know that I don’t have to wait for vanilla to come into season as this curiously wonderful little cup, indeed, has crept its non-microwave-safe way into my life and made me smile. Keep up the good work, vanilla.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 100 calories, 15 calories from fat, 2 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 135 milligrams of potassium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Healthy Choice Vanilla Bean Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: $2.99 (with a coupon)
Size: 3 4-ounce cups/box
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Vanilla. Creamy. The taste of hope. Cheesecake. Calcium. Single-serving cups. Peaceful diplomacy. Multi-colored spoons. Gloopy. Bat-crazy cream-o-vores. Create! Destroy! Repeat!
Cons: Absence of chocolate option. Ice cream truck hibernation. Forlorn bulldogs. I’m not a platypus.

REVIEW: Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt Bars (Blueberry and Strawberry)

Yasso Greek Frozen Yogurt Bars

The chronology of yogurt in this country reads like a veritable timeline of fads and one-hit wonders. From BMX riding kids glurping Go-Gurt to Jamie Lee Curtis giving us advice on tooting, we’ve by now been there and tried that. Somewhere along the way we jumped on board the Greek yogurt express, shelling out double for what we’d pay for regular yogurt and stumbling over the name of everyone’s favorite Greek yogurt company like a county music singer trying to learn French.

With the latest yogurt trends leaning toward lactose-free yogurt and foreign fermented dairy products with names I can’t pronounce, Greek yogurt has had to up its game to garner attention. Fortunately, thanks to two hippie dudes in Vermont and a host of other companies, we’ve recently seen an explosion in “Frozen” Greek Yogurt, which is not to be confused with the kind of frozen Greek yogurt that happens as a result of me sticking my container of Fage into the freezer by mistake.

Yasso might sound like it’s a character of ambiguous gender out of the smash N-64 hit Yoshi’s Story*, but in reality it’s the name of a frozen Greek yogurt company dreamed up by a sporty husband and wife team. How sporty? Let’s just say their website boasts of a 4:15 mile accomplishment, which, after reading, I was hoping would also be in my future if I ate their frozen Greek yogurt bars. Suddenly, the whole Achilles story is coming into focus.

Yasso Greek Frozen Yogurt Bars Blueberry

With “all of the goodness, none of the guilt,” Yasso’s 75-gram bars pack only 70 calories, and proudly boasts of containing no corn syrup and no fat. I won’t lie to you; with those kind of stats I was expecting the Blueberry and Strawberry bars I sampled to also contain no taste. Surprisingly they did contain some taste, although unsurprisingly it was not the kind of taste which really gets me excited for a frozen yogurt bar. Perhaps, if you play ice cream truck music in the background and rapidly slurp down a Great White Shark Pop or Flintstone’s Push-Pop after eating these greek yogurt bars, then you’ll get excited, but otherwise, you know you’re basically eating something healthy with the sole intention of being healthy.

Yasso Greek Frozen Yogurt Bars Strawberry

Both bars have a dull sweetness that I’m willing to bet most people would find completely underwhelming. Using no other sweetener aside from sugar (not even fructose) the bars almost seem to restrain the actual pureed fruit base, which is overshadowed by a clean, albeit slightly boring, milky flavor. Had I not known the blueberry flavor was blueberry, I would have been hard pressed to identify it as anything but “berry,” and unfortunately found no tart or puckering quality about it. The strawberry flavor had a better showing — what, with some actual texture of those little seed things on the outside of the berries — but again, the fruit flavor was less fruit and more mild and milky yogurt. Decent, but not great, and while healthy, not healthy enough to shave roughly three and a half minutes off my mile time.

I love fruit as much as the next snack food junkie looking to remove the compunction of downing a bag of Fritos, but I also know where to pick my battles. If you’re looking for the most insanely healthy conception of something frozen on a stick this side of attempting to grow asparagus in Antarctica, then these bars are right up your alley. If, however, you’re just a guy looking to try to get a little balance in your dessert life, then might I suggest the tried and true method of sticking a banana in the freezer and calling it an afternoon.

*If anyone has a copy of this game they are willing to part with, I would very much appreciate it if you’d drop me a line. More to the point, buying it from you would make my life.

(Editor’s Note/Disclosure: We received free coupons for free samples for free from the folk at Yasso for free. Free. Free. Free.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar - 70 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 35-40 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein, and 15% calcium.)

Other Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt Bar reviews:
Fro-Yo Girl

Item: Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt Bars (Blueberry and Strawberry)
Price: $4.99 (Coupons provided by Yasso super-athletic marketing team)
Size: 4 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Blueberry)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Pros: Super healthy. No fat and six grams of protein. Milky fresh taste. No ice crystals. Getting on board the the Greek yogurt bandwagon again. Excuse to YouTube Go-Gurt commercials.
Cons: Vapid level of sweetness. Not guaranteed to make a kid run faster or jump higher. Expensive and somewhat difficult to find in stores. Jamie Lee Curtis commercials. Feelings of athletic impotency.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt

Because I am a nerd and like to read about scientific things as much as I can while science is still legal in this country, I recently discovered an Oxford University experiment involving the relationship between food flavors and sound. Results showed that sweet-tasting foods tended to be matched with high-pitched tones while more savory foods tended to be matched with low-pitched sounds.

If that’s the case, then I would have to compare a spoonful of Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt to a screeching serenade by a pod of whales. In other words, this frozen yogurt is sweeter than sweet, which was surprising considering that Greek yogurt tends to be tarter than tart. By the way, hyperbole also comes from Greece.

Make no mistake, I prefer sweet frozen yogurt to tart frozen yogurt, just like I’d prefer a friendly whale over any of the homicidal ones. And by “homicidal,” I don’t mean killer whales. I mean whales that commit premeditated murder. Like Moby Dick… or Monstro. Yeah, pretty sure Monstro swallowed his own weight in victims over the years.

However, with Greece being so close to Italy, I think the Mediterranean Sea-dwelling Monstro might enjoy Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen yogurt more than your typical whale would. (Science.) There’s even a chance I can use a fresh pint to lure him and finally pin a spate of horrific maritime swallowings on him. Better yet, we’ll film it and call it Law & Order: WSIU (Whale Swallowings Investigations Unit), and it will not only incorporate sketchy scientific techniques, but it will also be in Italian with English subtitles — “La balena inghiottì il capo!” Chun-CHUNG.

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt Closeup

Unlike the potential ratings of an hour-long TV procedural starring ocean-dwelling mammals, Ben & Jerry’s doesn’t disappoint when it comes to the texture of their Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt. Bits of real strawberries and shortcake pieces really boost the flavor and add to the richness of the creamy frozen yogurt. An extra bonus is that it only has 180 calories per serving. Molto bene! I did wish there had been more shortcake pieces and that they had been bigger. Often, I couldn’t tell whether I’d even picked up any shortbread in my spoon.

Despite that, I would highly recommend Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt. For now, this flavor is only available at grocery stores, so don’t go looking for them at a scoop shop. Even if your street contact says they’ve heard whales hanging out around there. It’s not whales, it’s the flavor. (Science.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup (100g) – 180 calories, 45 fat calories, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein, 15% Calcium, 0% Iron, 10% Vitamin C, and 4% Vitamin A.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt reviews:
San Diego Sugar
On Second Scoop
Junk Food Guy

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Shortcake Greek Frozen Yogurt
Price: $3.49 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Ralphs
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like whales sound. 180 calories per serving. Light, creamy and sweet. The Italian language.
Cons: Not enough shortbread pieces. Monstro. Only available at grocery stores. Law & Order: WSIU, coming this fall.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurt (Blueberry Vanilla Graham & Banana Peanut Butter)

Ben & Jerry's Greek Frozen Yogurt (Banana Peanut Butter and Blueberry Vanilla Graham)

Thanks to the inundation of Greek yogurt products over the past couple of years, I don’t remember what else Greeks are known for. When I try to think of something Greek, all that pops into my head is either Yoplait Greek Yogurt, Chobani Greek Yogurt, Stonyfield Farm’s Oikos Greek Yogurt, Dannon Greek Yogurt, Fage Greek Yogurt, Safeway Lucerne Greek Yogurt, Activia Greek Yogurt, and Tina Fey.

Unfortunately, these new Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurts aren’t helping. Is Julius Caesar Greek? What about Socrates? Damn. I can’t recall. Oh, thank goodness I’m not playing Trivial Pursuit right now. I don’t think I could earn the yellow wedge.

Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurt comes in four flavors: Blueberry Vanilla Graham, Banana Peanut Butter, Strawberry Shortcake, and Raspberry Fudge Chunk. Oh, there’s a Fifth Beatle, but Vanilla Greek Frozen Yogurt is only available at Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shops. Sadly, I was only able to find the Blueberry Vanilla Graham and Banana Peanut Butter.

Ben & Jerry's Greek Frozen Yogurt Banana Peanut Butter

Like a man who walks around in public in nothing but his tighty whiteys, there’s something not quite right about Ben & Jerry’s Banana Peanut Butter Greek Frozen Yogurt. Ben & Jerry’s says their Greek frozen yogurts are “really Greekin’ good,” but this particular flavor is kind of Greekin’ weird.

To be honest, I’ve never had the pleasure of eating a banana with peanut butter, but it sounds yummy and I’m pretty sure Elvis ate more than enough of it for me. However, the combination of banana Greek frozen yogurt with peanut buttery swirls tastes like a not-quite-ripe banana, which I do not have any affinity for. I’ve had many banana splits ruined by not-quite-ripe bananas, so this Greek frozen yogurt’s flavor hits a sore spot. The flavor doesn’t disgust me, but I can’t see myself buying another pint of it.

Ben & Jerry's Greek Frozen Yogurt Blueberry Vanilla Graham

However, I may buy another pint of Ben & Jerry’s Blueberry Vanilla Graham Greek Frozen Yogurt, which combines blueberry and vanilla Greek frozen yogurt with a graham cracker swirl. The blueberry and vanilla Greek frozen yogurt have a pleasant tanginess, but the graham cracker swirl is what makes this Greek frozen yogurt tasty. It’s sweetness helps counterbalance the yogurt’s tanginess. However, I gotta have more graham cracker swirl. I got a fever. And the only prescription is more graham cracker swirl. Although, the graham cracker swirl did make everything a little gritty.

I can’t believe I’m about to type this, but I have to say I’m not sure if Aristotle was Greek and I’m slightly disappointed with these two flavors of Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurt. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever put “disappointed” and “Ben & Jerry’s” in the same sentence until now. Again, the Blueberry Vanilla Graham is good, but both flavors don’t weaken my willpower and make me want to eat an entire pint in one sitting like Ben & Jerry’s ice cream does.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Blueberry Vanilla Graham – 200 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein. Banana Peanut Butter – 210 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Blueberry Vanilla Graham Greek Frozen Yogurt reviews:
On Second Scoop

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurt (Blueberry Vanilla Graham & Banana Peanut Butter)
Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Blueberry Vanilla Graham)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Banana Peanut Butter)
Pros: Blueberry Vanilla Graham is good. Doesn’t use milk from cows treated with rBGH. Yogurt cultures. Has fewer calories and fat than Ben & Jerry’s ice creams. Decent source of protein. More cowbell.
Cons: Banana Peanut Butter is Greekin’ weird because it tastes like not-quite-ripe bananas. I gotta have more graham cracker swirls. Has as much sugar as Ben & Jerry’s ice creams. Not as additive as Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.