REVIEW: Gatorade Water

“If you want a revolution, the only solution, evolve.”

Sage advice from an extremely catchy tune Gatorade used in ads about a decade ago.

Fast forward to today annnnd I guess the revolution is over, because… Gatorade. Water.

Gatorade Water? That’s devolution!

Step aside Fierce Grape, Riptide Rush, and Frost Glacier Freeze. There’s a new Gatorade flavor in town – nothing. Some ad wizard probably made your yearly salary (x10) to come up with that.

Do you love electrolytes but hate fun? Well, Gatorade Water might just be for you.

Have you ever known someone who’s always had a beard, but then they shave their beard, and then you see their clean-shaven face sans beard, and you think, “Oooof, you shoulda kept the beard?” Gatorade Water.

What’s next, Ben & Jerry’s milk?! Lay’s potatoes? … I’d try ’em both.

Ok, ok, I’ll stop being so cynical. After all, there’s some merit to Gatorade Water. I’m not gonna act like it’s the first bottled alkaline water with electrolytes. There’s clearly a market for this. Smartwater exists, but I still can’t shake the fact this feels dumb.

It’s kinda hard to review water. It’s water. I know there is literally at least one water sommelier out there who would disagree, but H2O is H2O.

Everyone knows someone who insists they can tell the difference between waters, but I guarantee if they were put to the test and blindfolded, that claim would be proven false. Anyway, I’m one of those people now. They’re all liars, but I’m not. I can tell the difference. I don’t think this is very good water.

I’m a Poland Spring loyalist, and when comparing that “pure spring water” to this, I could really tell the difference. This has that dull “dryness” on the finish that I can only assume is from the bit of alkaline and sodium used to lyte up the electros. I can’t really explain it, but I think it’s a common complaint people have with Aquafina, Dasani, or possibly both.

For some reason, I feel like this type of water can never get truly cold or refreshing. I had it in the fridge for a good 36 hours, and it just never got above “slightly chilled.” Does any of this make sense?

Perhaps it has to do with the pH of 7.5 “or higher?” I don’t actually know what that means for drinking water, but I guess it’s not “Planet Hollywood.” Quick Googling seems to indicate that 7.5 is about right for most water.

I drank this at the gym, and it just didn’t stack up to my usual Poland Spring. I also didn’t stack up, as I was pumping weights so tiny that one particularly nosy trainer asked me if I “tore my rotator cuff or something?”

Gatorade Water has “what plants crave,” but I, a “human man,” wasn’t invigorated like I would’ve been if I swigged on a flavored Gatorade or my usual cold Poland Spring. This is just dry tepid nothing. The bottle is sleek and has a solid cap construction, though. I’ll give it that.

Look, it’s water. Am I being too hard on water? Perhaps, but there are plenty of other waters and sports drinks that are better than this, so I say don’t even bother. You can always just have what I’m having – Hatorade.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 23.7 Fl. Oz.
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 65 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Mystery Flavor Gatorade

To be honest, I was really hoping Mystery Flavor Gatorade ended up being the company’s attempt at creating an actual Haterade. But it’s not because I imagine Haterade would be green in color and taste extremely sour and bitter, and that is not what this is.

Like many mystery flavor beverages, the liquid is a cloudy white with no chance for clues as to what it could be. But it’s also a color that many standard Gatorade varieties come in.

It has a strawberry scent, and its flavor leans towards strawberry with a slight sour kick. A part of me thinks it’s strawberry lemonade, but I’m leaning more towards strawberry kiwi. However, both are already in the Gatorade universe, and I don’t think it would be fun if the mystery flavor is one that currently exists. So I’m just going to combine the two and say my guess is strawberry kiwi lemonade.

There’s a QR code on the side of the bottle that led to a dead link when I scanned it with my phone. I’m sure it’ll be fixed someday. I don’t know if there are clues via that link, but the bottle does tell you to “Scan to Guess Mystery Flavor,” so maybe it’s just a website to enter your guess. As for mine, I will trust my taste buds and their experiences after having tried thousands of products over decades. I’m going to believe that they have the ability to determine what flavor this Gatorade variety is. I’m 90 percent confident they have the correct answer. Okay, 75 percent. A portion of me thinks it might be some other berry plus kiwi.

Whatever this flavor is, it’s tasty and as good as all the other dozen or so Gatorade options I’ve tried, but it doesn’t really stand out. If I was handed a cup of Mystery Flavor Gatorade during a 10k run, I’d drink it and think nothing of it because it’s such a normal tasting sports drink. If this was an attempt to think outside the box, like with a cotton candy or pumpkin spice Gatorade, it probably would’ve stopped me in my tracks.

In the end, it’s a perfectly fine tasting Gatorade. It’ll quench your thirst, give you electrolytes, and is suitable to dump on a coach who just won the big game. But I wish this ended up being a bit more exciting, like winning the big game.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 380 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 48. grams of sugar (including 48 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Gatorade Fast Twitch Energy Drink

Gatorade’s Fast Twitch Energy Drink got me wondering if the brand has researched how much liquid it takes to hamper athletic pee-formance, I mean, performance. Because I was curious if it’s why they come in 12-ounce bottles instead of the 16.9-ounce ones the most recent ready-to-drink Gatorade products come in. With 200 milligrams of caffeine per bottle, it seems like that would be best used by athletes before and during competing or practicing, and having too much liquid during those moments might become an issue. Or maybe I’m just overthinking it. Instead, it’s just Gatorade playing a game of shrinkflation.

If you’ve chugged the Gatorade rainbow, the energy drink is available in six familiar flavors — Orange, Strawberry Lemonade, Glacier Freeze, Strawberry Watermelon, Cool Blue, and Tropical Mango. The variety pack I bought from Amazon came with the first three. No matter what flavor, they all have zero sugar (thanks, sucralose!), 100 percent of your daily B6 and B12 vitamins, and have only five calories per bottle.

Of those three flavors in the variety pack, the one that stood out to me is the blueberry-flavored Glacier Freeze, but I’m a bit biased because I think the flavor has always been one of the best tasting Gatorade varieties. It’s one of the two I’d repurchase. The other flavor is Strawberry Lemonade, but I must admit that, while the beverage has a slight sourness, my taste buds have had difficulty pinpointing the lemon. So think of it more like Sour Strawberry than Strawberry Lemonade.

As for orange, the first thing I have to say about it is that orange you glad there are other flavors besides it. It’s so tangy. Oh wait, I’m sorry. I meant to type Tang-y, as in Tang, the classic orange drink mix. It’s tolerable but not my favorite of the three. If I were a 1960s astronaut orbiting the Earth, I might’ve thought it was the bee’s knees.

All three feel more syrupy than regular Gatorade and other Gatorade lines I’ve tried. It’s not off-putting; it’s just different. Also, while sucralose was used to help make these zero sugar, I didn’t notice an artificial sweetener aftertaste. Of course, your taste buds may vary.

Fast Twitch isn’t the first Gatorade with caffeine, but it’s the first with an amount that goes well into the triple digits. It also isn’t the only non-carbonated sports drink with caffeine — Monster’s Hydro (150-160 milligrams per 20-ounce bottle) and Bodyarmor’s Edge (140 milligrams per 28.3-ounce bottle) come to mind. While I haven’t had Bodyarmor’s offering, I prefer the taste of Hydro over the Fast Twitch varieties, but I think that’s the sugar in Hydro talking. (Bodyarmor’s Edge also has sugar.)

Gatorade is known as the Thirst Quencher, and the 12 ounces of liquid will probably quench my thirst. But that size does make me hesitant about them, especially when there are similar products out there that come in bigger bottles.

Purchased Price: $24.07
Size: 12-pack/12 fl oz bottles
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Glacier Freeze), 6 out of 10 (Strawberry Lemonade), and 5 out of 10 (Orange)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 200 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Gatorade Tropic Flash

Gatorade Tropic Flash Bottle

What is it?

Gatorade has a new yellowish flavor, Tropic Flash. The label claims “Limited Edition,” but I don’t know whether that applies to the flavor itself or the Serena Williams bottle.

How is it?

Gatorade Tropic Flash Glass

Well, I don’t have anything against it. But I don’t really have anything for it, either.

It has a generically fruity flavor, but what that is, I have no idea.

I was happy to drink it (after a seven-mile trail run in the heat), but I like it less than literally every other regular Gatorade flavor (except for Cool Blue). There’s something bland about it.

Anything else you need to know?

I don’t know what “Tropic Flash” is supposed to be, and the term “natural flavors” on the ingredients list doesn’t help me. I live in the desert, so I don’t have much experience with tropical fruit. The flavor seems like it belongs to something with the texture of cantaloupe, honeydew, or papaya. But I find it exceedingly strange that I taste the texture of a fruit more than I taste the flavor of a fruit.


If I finished a long workout and someone gave me a Tropic Flash Gatorade, I would gladly drink it. But when I look at the Gatorade flavors in the fridge at the gas station, I would never pick this one over, say, Glacier Freeze or Lime Cucumber.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 28 fl oz
Purchased at: Miller’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 50 milligrams of potassium.

REVIEW: Gatorade Fit

Gatorade Fit Bottles

What is Gatorade Fit?

It’s “Healthy Real Hydration.” I’m not sure where Gatorade is going with that because plain ol’ water could also be considered healthy real hydration. But does that also mean all of Gatorade’s other hydration products aren’t healthy?

What makes Gatorade Fit “healthy”? Well, it has no added sugar, no artificial sweeteners or flavors, no added colors, has only ten calories and one gram of sugar, and is an excellent source of vitamins A & C. It’s available in five flavors — Cherry Lime, Citrus Berry, Tropical Mango, Watermelon Strawberry, and Tangerine Orange. But I was only able to acquire the first four via a variety pack sold on Amazon. The line is available in 16.9- and 28-ounce bottles.

How is it?

Well, the short answer is they taste like Gatorade. If you’ve chugged the various colors of the Gatorade rainbow during your lifetime, you’ll be familiar with these four. With every flavor, I thought to myself that I had this before.

Tropical Mango and Watermelon Strawberry stood out to me among the four varieties. Their flavors mirror what I remember from their BOLT24 counterparts. The former has a pleasant strong mango flavor with a pineapple kick. Watermelon Strawberry leans more towards strawberry than watermelon, and that strawberry flavor reminds me of candy.

While those two are great tasting, Cherry Lime and Citrus Berry are also tasty. The former has a nice cherry and lime balance, while with the latter, the berry dominated the flavor so much that if you told me it was a mixed berry variety, I’d believe you.

Anything else you need to know?

Much like the skin under my shirt, Gatorade Fit has no color.

Gatorade Fit Glasses

Reader Josh G, who sent in photos of the new line for our Spotted post, mentioned that Gatorade Fit seems like a rebranding of Gatorade’s BOLT24. Because both lines get their electrolytes from watermelon and sea salt, provide 100% daily values of vitamins A & C, have no artificial sweeteners or flavors, and share some of the same varieties — Cherry Lime, Tropical Mango, and Watermelon Strawberry. But BOLT24 still exists because several types show up in my “Inspired by your purchases” section whenever I visit Amazon.

There are several differences between BOLT24 and Gatorade Fit. The latter has fewer calories (10 calories vs. 80 calories) and less sugar (1 gram vs. 19 grams). While BOLT24 used sugar and stevia, Gatorade Fit has only stevia. Much like when I tried BOLT24, I was surprised this has stevia. But I was even more surprised that it’s the ONLY sweetener because it doesn’t have any of the blechness that I’ve experienced with other beverages with it.


If you enjoyed Gatorade BOLT24, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy Gatorade Fit. Heck, maybe it should’ve been called Gatorade BOLT24FIT.

Purchased Price: $19.99 (12-pack)
Size: 16.9 oz bottles/12-pack
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Tropical Mango), 8 out of 10 (Watermelon Strawberry), 7 out of 10 (Cherry Lime), 7 out of 10 (Citrus Berry)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 230 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar (0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.