How would you respond if I asked, “Would you like a Milklicious Kiss?”
I imagine you’d recoil in disgust and scream, “No!”
What if I told you a “Milklicious Kiss” was the newest variety of Hershey’s Kisses? Would that change your mind?
Still “no?” For real?
I’m not gonna lie; I kinda expected you all to say “yes” to that. Why not? Is it me? Did I come across too creepy or something? Was I too… ya know what, whatever, I’m gonna review them anyway.
So, what exactly is “Milklicious,” besides something Michelangelo would refer to an extra cheesy pizza as? “Milklicious” basically means these Kisses have a “creamy chocolate milk filling.” They’re Chocolate Milk flavored Kisses.
I guess “Chocolate Milk” would get confused with “Milk Chocolate,” and thus folks would think these are just standard Kisses in a new bag. They’re not though. They’re a reinvention of Hershey’s Kisses, and they’re far superior.
These are creamier, milkier, melt-in-your-mouth Kisses. And yeah, that also sounds kinda gross out of context. I realize it’s tough to write about the milkiness of something called a “kiss.” I feel like a McPoyle sibling. There’s a reference for nobody.
Anyway, I think Hershey nails the taste of smooth chocolate milk here. They’re softer and more airy than regular Kisses. How would you like an airy kiss?! Aight, enough of that.
I feel like American chocolatiers don’t really provide many smooth and airy products, so I found that to be a pleasant surprise. Actually, I think the texture and mouthfeel of these lean towards European chocolate more than anything Hershey puts out. I could have been convinced this was Milka or even a non-Hershey-owned Cadbury if not for the shape.
That being said, the brand I landed on after popping a dozen or so was Dove. Dove is an American brand, but they make a much silkier chocolate than Hershey’s.
The package makes it seem like the middle is similar to a Lindt truffle ball, but it’s just a lighter hunk of tan chocolate. It might as well be soft though, because these melt like those little Dove squares and don’t last very long in your mouth.
Look, if someone from Switzerland tried these, I’m sure they’d laugh at my review, but for a dumb American such as myself, I think this is quality chocolate. The cow on the package tells us these are “Yummm,” and who could argue with that?
Like I said, these are a complete reinvention of the Hershey Kiss. I think Milklicious should be the standard and then sell the regular ones as “Classic” or something because these are just flat-out better. I’d love to somehow try this type of Hershey’s chocolate in bar form.
These are winners. In fact, I think Milklicious Kisses should win the prestigious “Best Kiss” Moonman at the MTV Whatever They Call Them These Days Awards. Tough break, The Kissing Booth 7, but there’s a new champion in town.
Purchased Price: $4.34
Size: 9 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (7 pieces) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, <1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.