REVIEW: Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready Slices-N-Stix

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Whole Thing

Little Caesars seems to always have a new scheme up its sleeve. One of the true masters of limited edition offerings – and that’s why you love this website, right?

From bacon-wrapped deep dish to cheese-stuffed crazy bread to my favorite, the undeniable pretzel crust pizza, it always finds ways to entice me back into its budget-friendly establishments. Its latest creation fuses an entree and an appetizer into one with the Hot-N-Ready Slices-N-Stix. Four pepperoni slices, eight Italian Cheese Stix, and a side of Crazy Sauce.

Grabbing my Hot-N-Ready pizza out of Little Caesars’ very cool and innovative Pizza Portal by scanning a QR code on my phone, I was surprised to see it personalized just for me. What I thought said “SES” on the outside, my initials, was actually S&S for Slices-N-Stix. A seemingly nice gesture from Caesar was just some insider employee scribble to make sure the pizza didn’t go into the wrong portal slot. I would have taken a picture of the sweet machine, but it was the most crowded Little Caesars I have ever been in, packed with customers and a line ten deep out the door. Friday night pizza night lives on!

Nine out of ten times when I order a customized pie, I get half and half, because who doesn’t love mixing up their bites? That desire to have slices of different identities made this latest creation alluring. I had to have it right away.

The only letdown was finding I didn’t get any Crazy Sauce in my box. I should have checked, but the location was such a madhouse that I didn’t dare open my glistening pizza in front of the 20 yet-to-be-satisfied people around me. Fortunately, my home is stocked with pasta sauce, so the evening went on swimmingly.

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Pasta

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Pizza Closeup

The pepperoni pizza half is exactly what you would expect. I’ve found LC’s quality in the last couple of years to be much better than what I remember from the early 2000s. The sauce is zesty and flavorful, the cheese is gooey and plentiful, and the pepperoni shiny and salty. With the foundation of a crust that has just enough heft to feel satisfying without being too bready.

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Stix Closeup

This was my first time having the Italian Cheese Stix, and I really enjoyed them. Despite being on the same crust, the lack of sauce changes the dough’s flavor in a way that really highlights the fatty cheese. I loved the alternate cut style from the regular pizza half, which left me with a couple pieces that had no crust, just simple cheesy, bready bliss. When dunked in marinara, I get that classic parlor cheese bread flavor with just the right acidity amount. Yet, it still tastes different from the normal pizza slices with its altered ratios of toppings.

Slices-N-Stix is a really simple concept that’s executed perfectly. As usual with Little Caesars, it’s hard to nitpick the quality with its generous prices, and this limited offering delivers what it promises. Food doesn’t have to be crazy to be crazy good, and despite the missing Crazy Sauce, I can’t wait to have this one again before it inevitably disappears.

Purchased Price: $6.00
Size: One Pizza
Purchased at: Little Casears
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pizza) 2950 calories, 141 grams of fat, 69 grams of saturated fat, 4.5 grams of trans fat, 355 milligrams of cholesterol, 6710 milligrams of sodium, 264 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of fiber, 14 grams of total sugars, and 161 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Stuffed Crazy Bread

Little Caesars Stuffed Crazy Bread

With Little Caesars’ latest cheesy concoction, it came, it saw, and, probably a little too much, it conquered the market on pizza side-items with the recently released Stuffed Crazy Bread, wherein the middle of its dream-worthy breadsticks are absolutely filled with a river of “gooey cheese.”

And I only say “a little too much” because, if I’m being honest, after sampling these crazy champions of cheesy-bread, I have to ask, “Why even bother ordering the pizza when you can have this instead?”

We can all agree that Little Caesars’ Crazy Bread is already a much-loved and much-needed foodstuff. With their buttery outside covered in a dusting of garlic salt and Parmesan cheese, they are a side-piece that, most days, beats Little Caesars’ pizza as far as pure taste goes, especially when paired that tangy marinara dipping sauce, also filled with secret herbs and spices.

Little Caesars Stuffed Crazy Bread 2

But this newest incarnation takes things to a whole other level of high-caloric snacking. While the outside is still that lovingly baked bread we all know and care for, it’s when you tear a stick into two that the warm cheese stretches in a dull yellow string, steaming from the inside.

Little Caesars Stuffed Crazy Bread 3

And while Little Caesars’ press release calls this product “gooey cheese,” it works for me. It’s a dairy flavor unbeknownst to my dumbfounded hunger, but it’s a texture I’m more than settled with, combining wonderfully with the said Crazy Bread. The marinara dipping sauce that comes with the bread gives it that little extra oomph that I always crave.

Perhaps the only flaw in this, I feel, is for those people with big families with big hungers. Compared to old school Crazy Bread’s eight-pieces per bag, the Stuffed Crazy Bread is stuffed crazily into a bag with only three thick pieces. While this trio definitely suits me, I can see why this low count would ruffle certain thickly-thrifty feathers.

Regardless, more competition than a complement, Little Caesars’ Stuffed Crazy Bread is a filling meal that, though extensively carbo-loaded and thoroughly cheese-heavy, makes for a great taste itself. It’s worthy of being a heavy lunch or a light dinner or, if you can handle it, possibly both.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 3 pieces
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 980 calories, 38 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 1960 milligrams of sodium, 126 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 36 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser! Cheeser! Pizza

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza

What is Little Caesars’ Pepperoni Cheeser! Cheeser! Pizza?

From the undisputed world champion of excessive and flamboyant monikers for pizza, like the ExtraMostBestest, comes perhaps Little Caesars’ most fanciest freshtastic pizza ever. This pie includes three luxury accoutrements —- fresh mozzarella, sweet basil, and a toasted asiago-parmesan crust.

How is it?

Amazingly, Little Caesars might have undersold this one on the name. Yes, the unnecessary use of exclamation points is there, and “cheeser” is non-sensical, but the taste of this one actually surpasses the name.

A wise man named Meatloaf once opined, two out of three ain’t bad. With apologies to Mr. Loaf, when it comes to pizza enhancements, I would argue that two out of three is really good.

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Cheese

The fresh mozzarella is the star of this pizza show. It has a pleasant, mild flavor and much firmer consistency than regular chain pizza cheese. It also delivers that satisfying “snap” when you bite through it.

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Crust

As for the crust, there is quite a bit of it, and if it were just plain old crust, it would definitely be too much. But this has a bold cheese flavor (mostly from the asiago and not so much from the parmesan) and a crunchiness not normally found with Little Caesars’ round pizza. I liked this crust a lot.

While the fresh mozzarella and crust are both excellent, the sweet basil is like sprinkles on a cupcake. It makes it look better but does not add much to the taste. But like I said, two out of three is really good, and the basil does nothing to detract from the success of its cheese and crust friends.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Slice

Select your slice with care if you want some of the fresh mozzarella. As best I could tell, there were seven slabs of the delicious chewiness on my pizza, but they were put on a bit haphazardly and not every slice was graced with one. I’m no mathematician, but if you have seven pieces of cheese with eight slices, someone is getting screwed. Even some of the promotional photos from Little Caesars seem to show a slice or two being deprived of fresh mozzarella, so if you are sharing with friends or family, make sure you are not last in line.

Conclusion:

Is this the best pizza I’ve ever had? No, of course not. It’s from Little Caesars. That’s a silly question to ask. But is it the best whole pizza you can buy for $7? Yeah, it probably is. The only thing that might make it better is to stuff the crust with cheese…and wrap it in bacon. I don’t even want to think about how Little Caesars would name something like that.

With many of its pies costing just $5, Little Caesars has never been known for great pizza, but if you want something decent using only the change you could dig out of the couch, its pizza gets the job done. Now, if you can scrounge up another $2, you can get something that’s really good and a great value for your money.

Purchased Price: $7.00
Size: Large
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (full pizza, 8 slices) 2,400 calories, 980 calories from fat, 111 grams of fat, 46 grams of saturated fat, 235 grams of cholesterol, 4,620 grams of sodium, 244 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 109 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish Pizza

Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish Pizza

That mascot dude can only say one word, right? All these years and Little Caesars just propped this guy up—handicap and all—and let him be the clown prince face of the company.

“Pizza! Pizza!”

Translation: “Please pick up my kids after school. I have to work late tonight.”

“Pizza! Pizza!”

Translation: “Please. I don’t want any more pizza.”

Well, say hello hello to the new Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish Pizza. And judging from the amount of pork on this thing, they taught Caesar to say another word. “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!” That’s eight times, said by four Little Caesar guys, which is enough fellas to be pallbearers at my funeral after I die from bacon-itis (a.k.a. heart disease).

Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish Pizza Corner

The pizza is a “Detroit style” deep dish with bacon wrapped around the corners and with bacon bits sprinkled on top. I’m not completely sure what Detroit style deep dish is, but if this is any representation, it originated from a Detroit elementary school lunch program.

It’s crazy (like their bread!) that a pizza can be so greasy yet so dry and bready in the middle. But we’re here for the bacon. And the bacon presents a dichotomy. At first bite, the bacon on the crust is not as salty as expected, thus less tasty. It is fairly crispy and adds a slight textural curveball, although it overshadows the existing deep dish crust instead of amplifying it. A few slices in, however, it’s better that the saltiness is turned down a bit as pizza eating is a marathon and not a sprint. It’s so much of a marathon, in fact, that they’re adding it to the Olympics. But the Winter Olympics. Cross country ski a while, shoot a rifle, and then scarf down a personal pan pizza.

Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish Pizza Top

The bacon bits are similarly bland-ish and while the bacon that lines the crust adds a small amount of smoky flavor, the bits just add grease and a tiny bit of sweetness. To be fair, I’ve seen pictures of other people’s orders and it seems like they spilled way more on my pizza and decided I look like some sort of pork beast that wouldn’t mind. They half-pegged me. I am a pork beast, but I did mind a little bit. The pepperoni did its job fine but frankly it was out-smoked by its meat cousin. A different ingredient could have expanded the flavor dynamics a bit more. This pork beast disapproves.

The difference between this one and the regular non-bacon deep dish pizza is four bucks. You’re probably better off frying some up and placing it on top of the pie yourself for that price. I don’t think the bacon they use is great quality and the promise of a bacon wrapped crust does not enhance the flavors any more than just eating some bacon alongside some cheap pizza. That’s where we’re at, people. I just wrote “a bacon wrapped crust does not enhance…” You bastards. You broke bacon.

The aforementioned elementary school quality does tick off some sort of nostalgia box, though. The spongy dough punctuated with a greasy slick finish of lubricated cheese. Takes me back to pogs, algebra, and reading out loud in class.

Oh, gorsh. Imagine Little Caesar reading out loud in class.

“Kids, turn to page 67 of Animal Farm. Caesar, can you read for us?”

“Pizza! Pizza! Pizza… Pizza? Pizza. Pizza.”

“You can tell Orwell is paralleling the Bolshevik Revolution because of the tone in which Caesar said ‘pizza.’”

Welp, that mascot dude found a job and made a decent living after all. I hope he gets to date Wendy from Wendy’s (the older one, not the little kid). God bless America, America.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 slice – 450 calories, 23 grams of fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, and 830 milligrams of sodium.)

Item: Little Caesars Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish Pizza
Purchased Price: $12
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Little Caesars
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Smoky flavor from bacon comes through a bit. Not prohibitively salty. Comforting as bready pizza.
Cons: Greasy. Bready ass crust. Bacon on pizza is just that, nothing more.