Do you remember when Late Night with Conan O’Brien had bands you’d never heard of? Musical acts like Brother Cane, Juicy Doves, At The Drive-In, Spicy Spicy Spice, The Spinanes, December Showers, Jawbox, Buffalo Tom, Flowerbot, and Pizza Redux.

Over the past three years, Taco Bell has been introducing me to hot sauces I’ve never heard of, like Yellowbird, Secret Aardvark, Disha Hot, and now Zab’s. More specifically, Zab’s St. Augustine Style Sauce, which has a sweet heat and gradual burn from Datil peppers. By the way, the Orange Sweet Datil Peppers would be a decent name for a Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band from Florida, which is where most Datil peppers are grown.

The Taco Bell Zab’s Chicken Ranch Nacho Fries feature Nacho Fries topped with slow-roasted chicken, warm Nacho Cheese sauce, a three-cheese blend, pico de gallo, and Zab’s Datil Pepper Ranch sauce, which is a combo of Zab’s St. Augustine Style Sauce and Taco Bell’s Spicy Ranch.

With that combination of a hot sauce and a spicy ranch, I expected at least a little kick from the Nacho Fries, but as I ate them, I kept thinking, “Where’s the heat?” The Zab’s sauce is supposed to provide a gradual heat, but instead, I got no heat. However, I’m not going to complain too much about that because I liked most of the flavors here. I say “most” because, and this might sound strange, I actually preferred the bites without any chicken. Look, I’ve enjoyed the slow-roasted chicken in plenty of other menu items, but they were a distraction here. Without it, I thought the flavors of the fries and toppings were more pronounced.

While the Zab’s ranch sauce lacked heat, it had plenty of flavor. Though I’m not sure I’d call it a ranch sauce. It was tangy like a ranch dressing, but also a little sweet. Think of a tangier offshoot of ketchup and mayo with a hint of pepperiness. It was also not overpowering, which allowed the tomatoes in the pico de gallo, the Nacho Fries seasoning, and the nacho cheese sauce to shine alongside each other, creating a tasty tower of toppings and fries that are worth a try. Well, except for the chicken.

Well, Zab’s, I now know who you are. I wonder what hot sauce brand Taco Bell is going to introduce us to next. Perhaps Vermont’s Angry Goat Pepper Company, Slap Ya Mama or Frog Bone from Louisiana, or Horsetooth Hot Sauce from Colorado?

Purchased Price: $5.99*
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 490 calories, 31 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 1170 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

*Because I live on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Taco Bell could’ve just named these Spicy Crispy Chicken Nuggets and called it a day. But the marketing folks there went with some alliteration to make these the Diablo Dusted Crispy Chicken Nuggets, then dusted the Diablo dust off their hands and called it a day.

The limited time offering features all-white-meat chicken nuggets in a crispy, tortilla chip coating with Diablo dust made from the chain’s Diablo sauce packets. I imagine the seasoning is produced in Hell by heating up vats of Diablo sauce over a fiery pit and letting the liquid evaporate so all that remains is a fine powder, which gets stomped into a finer powder by those in Hell who are there because they never used their blinkers when turning or changing lanes. Also, I imagine El Diablo says the powder is being used by Taco Bell, but being El Diablo, he’s lying. Half is being used by Taco Bell and the other half is his nose candy.

An order is available with five or ten pieces, with a sauce of your choice. Because these are Diablo Dusted Chicken Nuggets, I had to go with the Hidden Valley Diablo Ranch Dipping Sauce. Although I would like to note that I’d be somewhat okay if my nuggets ended up without any sauce because their peppery and savory flavor is surprisingly good on its own. Also, when I ate them this way, the Diablo coating that ended up on my lips did make them tingle.

The nuggets are definitely spicier than the Hidden Valley Diablo Ranch, and I’d say they’re roughly as spicy as Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets. Maybe a tad more? It’s not an unpleasant heat that demands a cold beverage, but I was glad one happened to be within arm’s reach. The dipping sauce added a tangy ranch flavor and helped lessen the heat, even though it has a bit of a kick too. That cool ranch tanginess pairs extremely well with the hot, peppery seasoning on the nuggets, and I believe it’s enough to make this worth buying.

While I enjoyed the flavor of the nuggets and the dipping sauce, I wasn’t a fan of how dry the chicken was, and the dry, but on purpose, crunchy coating wasn’t helping. Thankfully, they weren’t as arid as Hell’s Diablo Dust stomping pits, and the creamy ranch did help hide some of that dryness. Of course, your results may vary, but the dryness did lower my overall enjoyment of what was otherwise a tasty order.

Purchased Price: $5.79*Size: 5-pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5 pieces) 340 calories, 14 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1340 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 27 grams of protein.

*Because I live on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

As someone who doesn’t love beef, I highly appreciate the touchscreens at Taco Bell that allow you to make substitutions seamlessly—no fear of a disapproving gaze as I sheepishly swap to chicken. The only thing I’d enjoy more would be if the good people of Taco Bell revamped a classically beef-centric dish to include chicken from the get-go… and wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what they did with the new limited edition Crispy Chicken Crunchwrap Slider.

This isn’t the first Slider-ified Crunchwrap; it follows in the footsteps of last year’s Steak & Queso flavor. Where the OG Crunchwrap Supreme contains Nacho Cheese sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, and sour cream, this new variant has crispy chicken as the main protein, plus a three-cheese blend, pico de gallo, and your choice of either Creamy Chipotle or Jalapeno Honey Mustard sauce. Being a slider, it’s also important to note that it’s smaller than the traditional Crunchwrap Supreme, making it ideal for a quick snack. (If you’re hungrier, you can even get it as part of the Discovery Luxe Cravings Box combo.)

While the Slider shares the same iconic hexagonal shape as the original Crunchwrap Supreme, mine wasn’t folded quite flawlessly, so I could see some sauce-coated bits of tomato peeking out. The small size came in handy here, since I was able to grip the Slider fully in one hand and keep the other ready to catch any fillings that might tumble out. My first bite was remarkably solid, which made sense when I realized I had bitten directly into one of the nuggets of crispy chicken. (“I see, it’s like a chicken nugget wrapped in a tortilla,” remarked my husband, who, I guess, had never heard of a Crunchwrap before? Technically, there were three chicken nuggets in there, but his observation was more or less accurate.)

I enjoyed the plumpness of the nugget and the tasty fried coating, even if it was a bit dry. That problem was mitigated by mouthfuls that had more mustard, though I still couldn’t help but think that shredded chicken would have been a better fit. I know, the whole reason this item exists is to promote the fact that Taco Bell sells chicken nuggets these days, but still! It also didn’t help that my Slider came out a bit lukewarm, and my suspicions that it hadn’t been properly heated all the way through were supported when I unwrapped it to see an abundance of unmelted cheese shreds.

The pico de gallo was mild, mostly sweet from the tomatoes, which obscured the onion’s bite. And speaking of “sweet with a bite,” the jalapeno honey mustard was a bit strange. I mostly tasted the acridness of the jalapeno, which was a tad too vinegary for my liking, though my very last bite somehow tasted like pure, classic honey mustard, so it wasn’t the most consistent sauce.

While the Crispy Chicken Crunchwrap Slider didn’t knock my socks off, I enjoyed it enough to try it again if the opportunity arises. Maybe my Taco Bell was just having an off day! Maybe I would fare better with the Creamy Chipotle! And if all else fails, I can always do a little more customizing on my beloved touchscreen.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 12 grams of fat, 860 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

Like four-digit numerical passcodes for your phone, there are thousands of combinations Taco Bell could come up with for its loaded Nacho Fries using its standard ingredients.

The latest is the Steak & Guac Nacho Fries, which have the most condiments I’ve ever seen on the chain’s Nacho Fries and marinated steak — guacamole, reduced-fat sour cream, nacho cheese sauce, and chipotle sauce. There isn’t anything other than the fries and steak to provide some resistance for your teeth.

Since it’s almost halfway there, maybe Taco Bell should create something called Sauce Pool, Sauce Rainbow, or Sauce Swamp Nacho Fries that contains every sauce Taco Bell offers, plus a new one or two. But we’re not here to talk about my wet sauce dream, unless you represent the Yum! Brands, Inc. and are willing to offer me royalties. We’re here to review Taco Bell’s Steak & Guac Nacho Fries.

Like many of the previous loaded Nacho Fries varieties that use Taco Bell’s standard ingredients, it tastes fine, and it’s filling. However, when mixed, it tasted like the sour cream, nacho cheese sauce, and chipotle sauce were upset about the steak and guacamole getting top billing here, so they took over the show. The steak’s meaty flavor is erased when coated with all those sauces, and the guacamole loses most of its avocado-ness when mixed with everything. The only flavors I consistently tasted were the nacho cheese sauce and a bit of the chipotle sauce’s smokiness, which also had a slight spicy kick.

Because the headlining ingredients don’t make a strong impression, it makes me wonder whether Taco Bell needed to combine all those sauces in the first place. Sour cream and nacho cheese sauce seem to be on EVERY loaded Nacho Fries variant that has come out. Maybe give the sour cream and nacho cheese guns in the kitchen a break.

These Nacho Fries might’ve been wholly more guacamole if the sour cream and nacho cheese were left off and replaced with another serving of guacamole. Then the menu item might’ve been worthy of the Steak & Guac name.

Purchased Price: $7.19*
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 530 calories, 34 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1230 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (includes less than 1 gram of added sugar), and 13 grams of protein.

*Because I live on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Taco Bell’s Flat Burrito is back.

I mean, Taco Bell’s Rolled Quesadilla is back, and it’s gotten the Cantina Chicken treatment. According to the fast food chain, the new permanent menu item is: “A warm flour tortilla filled with savory slow-roasted chicken, a melty blend of mozzarella, pepper jack, and cheddar cheeses, and creamy chipotle sauce, grilled to perfection, rolled, cut, and wrapped for easy enjoying on the go. Served with reduced-fat sour cream and an Avocado Verde Salsa packet.”

It follows the Steak & Poblano Rolled Quesadilla that got the product rolling late last year. Speaking of previously released menu items, this new thing in a tortilla is similar to an old thing in a tortilla — the Cantina Chicken Quesadilla. They share the same ingredients, and the only differences between the two are how they’re presented—the original version also came with a side of guacamole for dipping—and this rolled version has twice as much chicken.

The original Cantina Chicken Quesadilla didn’t make a strong impression on me, and the same goes for this updated version. The chicken is lightly seasoned and pairs well with the cheeses and chipotle sauce, but it’s all not too flavorful or exciting. But as mentioned earlier, it comes with a side of sour cream and a packet of Avocado Verde Salsa, which significantly enhanced the flavor, especially the latter, which I think is one of the best Taco Bell sauces. They take the menu item from “meh” to “mmm, okay.” I wish the default dipping sauce were the guacamole, because reduced-fat sour cream isn’t exactly known for taking mouths to the flashy side of Tasty Town.

Here’s my biggest issue with these Rolled Quesadillas: a regular quesadilla is fanned out when it’s presented to you, so its price makes sense to me. But with these rolled ones, they look like burritos that got smooshed a bit too much in the grill press, making them appear less substantial than Taco Bell’s regular burritos, which, in turn, makes them not worth the surprisingly high price, even if they have twice the chicken. Though I will admit their shape does make them less awkward to dip into a sauce cup than a regular quesadilla wedge.

So, yes, Taco Bell’s Rolled Quesadilla is back, but nothing about its size or flavor has improved to make me want to try the next one, if there ever is one. Maybe it needs to go back to the drawing board.

Purchased Price: $7.99*
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 570 calories, 28 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1410 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (includes 1 gram of added sugar), and 33 grams of protein.

*Because I live on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.