I’m no expert when it comes to Taco Bell product nomenclature, but I think the new Taco Bell Cheesy Dipping Burritos should’ve been called Meaty Cheesy Dipping Burritos because I found them to be more meaty than cheesy.

An order comes with two burritos, and two versions are available: one with Cantina slow-roasted chicken and another with grilled, marinated steak. Both also come stuffed with a blend of cheddar, pepper jack, and mozzarella cheeses and Avocado Ranch in a flour tortilla with cheese grilled to the outside. By default, a side of creamy chipotle sauce is included for dipping. But you can swap that with the equally creamy nacho cheese sauce or reduced fat sour cream. Hmmm. Maybe these should’ve been called Meaty Cheesy Creamy Dipping Burritos?

Taco Bell describes these as “two snack-sized burritos” and also says that these come with a “full serving” of chicken or steak. However, what I noticed after picking up my bag is that they don’t feel snack-sized, and without any vegetables, rice, beans, guacamole, Fiesta Strips, pico de gallo, jalapeños, or Seasoned Fries in them, they feel like they’re filled to the gills with meat. With just three ingredients in them – meat, cheese, and sauce – maybe these should’ve been called Easy Peasy Meaty Cheesy Creamy Dipping Burritos.

The cheeses inside and outside of them don’t play a significant flavor role because the Avocado Ranch and meat seem to take center stage here. But that’s without dipping it into the creamy chipotle sauce. When the smoky and peppery sauce is applied, it takes over the taste buds, mostly negating the Avocado Ranch but letting the meat’s flavor get some of the spotlight. However, the steak’s flavor stood out noticeably more, making things taste too meaty and less balanced. Between the two varieties, I preferred the Cantina chicken’s taste over the steak’s, with and without the dipping sauce.

While both varieties are good, I still can’t get behind the name Cheesy Dipping Burritos. They have cheese, but whatever is included doesn’t make them taste cheesy. I guess if you really want these to be truly cheesy, swap the chipotle sauce with Taco Bell’s bright nacho cheese sauce and turn them into the Easy Peasy Meaty Cheesy Creamy Orangey Dipping Burritos.

Purchased Price: $6.59*
Size: 2 burritos per order
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chicken), 6 out of 10 (Steak)
Nutrition Facts: (2 burritos w/Creamy Chipotle Sauce) Slow Roasted Chicken – 720 calories, 50 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1430 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein. Steak – 710 calories, 49 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1580 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did. The advertised price is $4.99.

Taco Bell is once again turning its attention to chicken nuggets. The first attempt was its Naked Chicken Chips, which were uniform tortilla chip-shaped breaded pieces of poultry marinated in Mexican spices that came with a side of nacho cheese sauce. This latest take features all-white meat chicken marinated in jalapeño buttermilk and breaded with tortilla chips and your choice of sauce.

I was not impressed after opening the clamshell packaging they came in. Six of the ten pieces looked more like popcorn chicken than nuggets. Also, those smaller pieces remind me of protein oat balls eaten by hikers or meteorites that give puppies superpowers. I haven’t noticed any powers yet, but I’ll let you know when I can lift a car.

I might’ve gotten unlucky with what I received, but I imagine someone out there might get it worse and have only popcorn chicken-sized pieces in their five-piece order and feel even more ripped off than I do. It was nine dollars for ten pieces at my local Taco Bell, which is a dollar more than a TWENTY-piece order of Chicken McNuggets.

Size and price aside, these Crispy Chicken Nuggets were tasty with the sauces, which I’ll get to in a moment. Thanks to the tortilla chips, the exterior is crunchier than other fast food nuggets. Within that coating is chicken that’s surprisingly tender and somewhat still juicy. Although the largest one in my box had noticeably dry meat. The jalapeño buttermilk marinade added some pepperiness, and I could taste the chips, but these nuggets are best when dipped.

A moment has passed, and now I can mention the sauces these nuggets are being advertised with: Hidden Valley Ranch Fire Ranch, Bell Sauce, and Jalapeño Honey Mustard Sauce. Although I ordered the last one, the location I went to did not have it. You can also order this with any of the other sauces Taco Bell offers, like nacho cheese sauce.

Both sauces I got went exceptionally well with the chicken’s spices and flavors. The Fire Ranch is basically ranch with Mexican spices, which amps the seasoning in the coating. The Hidden Valley Ranch uniqueness is there, but there’s also a very mild spicy kick. It’s a tasty dip, but my taste buds enjoyed the Bell Sauce more, which is made with tomatoes, green chiles, garlic, and onion. For some reason, two things came to mind when I ate it with these nuggets: KFC and barbecue, but with a Tex-Mex twist.

Taco Bell’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets taste very good with the sauces and have a crunchy coating, but those tiny pieces bother me A LOT. I wish they were uniform in size and shape, so this wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe it should bring back the chip shape. Or, even better, if there’s a third attempt at chicken nuggets, bell-shaped ones.

Purchased Price: $8.99
Size: 10 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (10 pieces) 670 calories, 33 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1840 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 72 grams of protein.

Throw on that pair of mismatched sunglasses from Pizza Hut and jump in the Delorean because we’re going BACK IN TIII-IIIIME!

… and I just realized that Back to the Future is closer to the OG release of the Caramel Apple Empanada than we are now and had a mini existential crisis.

Ahem. All good!

In case you missed the news, Taco Bell recently launched a Decades menu featuring favorites from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and now the 00s with the topic of this review, the Caramel Apple Empanada.

I’m not quite sure why we had to wait an additional three weeks for said empanada, but let me first assure you all that it was well worth the wait.

The shell is perfectly crisp and flaky, with a lovely tender, yet toothsome texture. The filling is a beautiful marriage of apple chunks with just enough texture to make themselves known without being overwhelming, and the sea of gooey caramel they are swimming in has a thick, unctuous mouthfeel that made me feel nostalgic for the days of butterfly hair clips, Smash Mouth, and way too much body glitter. The Bell managed to strike a perfect balance in the ratio of filling to crust as well, just enough that the crust is there to add texture and crunch, but still know when to step back and let the filling take center stage. Even the smell was perfect, a combination of pastry, sugar, and fryer grease that someone should eye for a limited edition scented candle or perhaps an empanada-shaped car air freshener.

Those of you who remember the OG CAE (Caramel Apple Empanada) will be thrilled to learn that, just like the original, the filling is served at roughly the temperature of the sun. Please be cautious when taking that first bite, lest you wind up with a tastebud impairing burn to go along with your dessert, especially if you’re a dessert-first kinda person like me.

All in all, the CAE is a delicious callback to a bygone era of Taco Bell, when there was a dessert on the menu you could pretend was vaguely healthy due to the presence of actual fruit imprisoned within its deep fried walls. The only demerit it receives is due to its unfortunately limited availability. So go get your hands on one while you can! Maybe if they sell well enough, Taco Bell will consider bringing them back on a more permanent basis. At least, a girl can hope.

Purchased Price: $1 with App Promotion ($2.99 regular price)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of total sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

Taco Bell’s new, limited edition Midnight Cherry Freeze is a Slurpee-esque frozen drink, but right off the bat, the flavor name sounded more like a type of Gatorade. This ended up being prescient, as that’s pretty much what it tasted like too.

I was expecting something primarily sugary and syrupy with undertones of the synthetic fruit flavors that, if you’re frequenting this junk food blog, you probably know and love, so I was really surprised by how tart it actually was. Yes, tartness is a flavor that’s typically associated with cherries, but Taco Bell’s website describes this as “A sweet, blue raspberry-flavored Freeze with a swirl of black cherry flavor,” so I was thinking that the blue raspberry would be more dominant here.

The color of my Freeze certainly supported that theory; it was practically solid blue, with some faint purply red patches on the very edges, which was the only hint that another flavor was mixed in there. (Granted, my drink was served in a colorfully designed opaque Decades cup per Taco Bell’s ongoing promotion, rather than the usual clear cup, which would have made striations of different colors more visible, but still, even swirling my straw around to try to find more of that cherry color yielded nothing.) Despite this visual imbalance, either the blue raspberry flavor was extremely weak or the black cherry flavor was extremely strong because the latter was what made an impression on me.

In addition to the tartness, my Freeze had that distinctive tangy, saline sharpness that reminded me of Gatorade just as much as its dramatic “cool sounding but ultimately irrelevant word plus fruit” naming scheme. The flavor was intense enough that even as a frozen beverage aficionado, I could barely finish my Regular size and was grateful when it was done. That intensity heightened even more when I got the occasional sip that was pure syrup: without the refreshing ice to balance it out, the taste came close to crossing over from mere tartness into sheer sourness. Blessedly, though, I did notice a crisp, almost biting aftertaste that reminded me of Sprite and helped reset my palate a bit before bracing myself for the next mouth-puckering sip.

My favorite part of this drink was probably the ice. I’m used to similar frozen beverages having a disappointingly inconsistent texture, where your first few sips are pure flavor and then you’re almost instantly left with a three-quarters-full cup of solid ice, all of the yumminess and color sucked straight out of it, but that issue was gracefully avoided here. This Freeze was well-blended enough that it was more plush than grainy, which meant I was able to get to nearly the very bottom of the cup before I was confronted with some small lumps of ice that I couldn’t slurp up.

If a craving for a frosty beverage strikes you, I wouldn’t suggest you “Freeze” what you’re doing just to check this one out. But if you happen to already be in the mood for Taco Bell and want to pick this up on the side, you could do worse. This Midnight Cherry is more like “Alright (very).”

Purchased Price: $4.02
Size: Regular (16 oz)
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 34 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein

Despite being alive through most of the decades, I don’t believe I’ve ever had any of the products on Taco Bell’s new Decades menu. However, now that I think about it, I didn’t get my first taste of Taco Bell until the early 90s, and back then, I stuck to the cheaper tacos and burritos. But now my taste buds can go back in time and experience what they missed.

Gordita Supreme (1990s)

This pretty much takes the guts on a Taco Supreme—seasoned beef, reduced fat sour cream, tomatoes, cheese, and lettuce—and stuffs it in a Gordita flatbread. While the flatbread does a better job of keeping in its filling than a crunchy taco shell or flour tortilla, its thickness makes most bites too bready. All the typical Taco Supreme flavors—seasoned beef, sour cream, and tomatoes—are noticeable, but they all get muted by the puffy Gordita. I don’t plan on eating this again in any future decades.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 11 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), 13 grams of protein.

Meximelt (1980s)

As you can see, my Meximelt was max-messy. That flour tortilla tried so hard to contain the seasoned beef, pico de gallo, and three cheese blend inside of it, but it was no match for the wet ingredients. Of course, your results may vary. To eat this without losing any of the filling, I had to wrap the soggy tortilla into a burrito.

Despite being a simple three-ingredient menu item, the Meximelt has a lot of flavor. I can imagine this is what a lettuce and sour cream-less Soft Taco Supreme tastes like. The lack of green leaves probably gives this more flavor than a Soft Taco Supreme, allowing the seasoned beef and pico de gallo to really stand out. Besides its messiness, my only other issue was the lack of cheesiness. However, this was my second favorite item on the Decades Menu.

I described this as a “simple three-ingredient menu item,” but it has a price that’s a bit expensive. If you want to experience a Meximelt, but for a cheaper price, just order a soft taco with no lettuce and add pico de gallo.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 250 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 720 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), 13 grams of protein.

Green Burrito (1970s)

The menu item born in the 70s features a flour tortilla stuffed with green sauce, refried beans, cheddar cheese, and onions. The emerald sauce has green chili, tomatillos, jalapeno peppers, and spices. If you’re like me and very familiar with Taco Bell’s regular Bean Burrito, you probably notice that this is similar, except the usual red sauce is swapped with a green one.

I don’t know if my taste buds are tired from eating the regular bean burrito so many times, but tasting the Green Burrito was a breath of fresh green air. I instantly thought this should be the default bean burrito for the next few decades, and it’s my favorite item on the Decades menu. The sauce gives the item a pleasant, peppery kick of flavor and a slight kick of heat. Also, it’s bolder than what the red sauce provides. With a regular bean burrito, the refried beans are most noticeable, but with this burrito, there is a better balance between the beans and the sauce.

However, I have an issue with its price. If it’s basically a regular bean burrito but with green sauce instead of red, why is it significantly more expensive? At my local Taco Bell, the difference is a dollar, and in other regions, it’s about 60 cents. Also, while messing around on the Taco Bell app, I found out I could order a regular bean burrito and customize it with green sauce for only 25 cents more. So, if you want to experience the Green Burrito, go that route.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 370 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 1040 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar (including 3 grams of added sugar), and 13 grams of protein.

Tostada (1960s)

The Decades Menu’s oldest and most colorful member is also the blandest of the bunch. Piled on top of a corn tostada is a layer of refried beans topped with red sauce, lettuce, and cheddar cheese. While the toppings are piled high, it really needs something else to make it not taste so blah.

Despite having a droopy amount of red sauce, its flavor doesn’t come into play when eating this. Maybe the lettuce side salad on top mutes all the other ingredients. The only positive I can say about this is the corn tostada’s sturdiness. It didn’t fall apart while eating it. But overall, I can taste why it disappeared.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.