REVIEW: Thomas’ Limited Edition Everything English Muffins

Thomas Limited Edition Everything English Muffins Package

What are Thomas’ Limited Edition Everything English Muffins?

If you love everything bagels, but always felt they lacked nooks and crannies, your time has come.

How are they?

Well, they’re better than nothing.

That’s actually selling them short. Thomas has outdone himself.

“Everything” is the most popular bagel flavor in the US, according to my 2021 level research. (That’s where you Google something and just read the little blurb that appears before the links.) I’m shocked it took this long to expand over to the underrated English muffin.

Thomas Limited Edition Everything English Muffins Top

English muffins don’t get enough love. They’re better than buttered toast, and I personally think they’re the single best bread for an egg sandwich. There’s no hole. They don’t crumble like a biscuit or have a strange, messy shape like a croissant. They just get the job done.

Thomas Limited Edition Everything English Muffins Toasted Untoated

Thomas’ Everything English Muffins have all the same ingredients as your typical everything bagel – poppy seeds, sesame seeds, onion, garlic, and salt. Although you can really only see the poppy seeds, and the salt isn’t crystallized.

The flavor doesn’t burst as much as you’d expect from a bagel, and I loved that. It was way more subtle than what I’m used to. I’ve had everything bagels at 8 am and still tasted the onion and garlic at dinner time. There is a perfect balance on these muffins.

Anything else you need to know?

Thomas Limited Edition Everything English Muffins Butter Cream Cheese

I tried these three ways – with butter, with cream cheese, and with egg and cheese. I wouldn’t normally ever think to put cream cheese on an English Muffin, but I had to try it on account of the everything spices. I think plain butter on a medium toasted muffin is still king, but all three ways were delicious.

I would say one drawback to everything flavor is that it probably isn’t gonna blend as well with the sweeter toppings you might like on an English muffin. You might wanna save your various fruit spreads or peanut butter for a plain.


Thomas Limited Edition Everything English Muffins Wrapper

I’ve bought frozen everything bagels and everything rye bread from the supermarket, but these are easily better than both. I’m not ready to say they beat a good everything bagel from your local spot, but I think the added flavor improves on the typical Thomas’ English Muffin.

These are currently a limited-edition product, but I can’t imagine a world where these don’t become mainstays in due time. Tommy and the crew would be foolish to keep them off the shelves.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 13 oz. (6-pack)
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 160 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of total carbohydrates, <1 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Thomas’ Limited Edition S’mores English Muffins

Thomas Limited Edition S mores English Muffins

As someone who works in the marketing department of an organization that has only discovered social media within the last year, I tend to feel an affinity with Thomas’ English muffins. For years, these guys had one shtick: nooks and crannies.

If sharing the same marketing platform as a dilapidated four bedroom Tudor didn’t do it for you, you’re not alone. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only reason people tolerate English muffins is because they’re the breakfast equivalent of chips. It’s all about the toppings —- I lean toward the classic cream cheese —- and that delightful round shape.

Well, no more. The new s’mores flavor joins a suddenly marketing-savvy Thomas’ lineup that includes pumpkin spice, salted caramel, and maple french toast. To be honest, each has sounded great, but all have only been okay, undone by a hit-or-miss internal flavor that’s never as pervasive as it should be, and has to be rescued by the spread.

Call me old fashioned, but I have higher expectations for s’mores. In fact, if you call something s’more-flavored, I expect it to taste like a s’more without having to build an actual s’more out of it. Unfortunately, that’s what you have to do to coerce the summertime campfire flavor out of these muffins.

Thomas Limited Edition S mores English Muffins 2

If you’re the kind of person who eats English muffins both plain and untoasted (in which case, why?) you’ll find these have very little resemblance to a S’mores Pop-Tart much less actual s’mores. The small bursts of cocoa and marshmallow are almost impossible to see without a microscope and almost as difficult to taste.

There is a sort of cocoa flavor that hangs in the background as well as a general honey sweetness, but it’s not discernible as a s’more. A Tootsie Roll? Yes, I can taste that, but not a s’more. To make matters worse, there’s this dough conditioner chewiness thing going on which doesn’t go away unless you toast the muffins well past the point of burnt.

Speaking of toasting, I tested the muffins on a light and a moderate setting and found the graham flavor decreased each time. Granted, there’s not much to begin with, but on a moderate setting the muffins taste like a honey whole wheat English muffin. And because there’s no actual chocolate chips, toasting doesn’t reveal any melty chocolate.

Thomas Limited Edition S mores English Muffins 3

Ultimately, when I spread the muffins with chocolate marshmallow frosting, they tasted moderately like a s’more. This was anticlimactic though, because I’d already licked some frosting with my finger, which also kind of tasted like a s’more.

Thomas’ S’mores English Muffins are only available for a limited time, which is probably a good thing, because you don’t need mediocre s’mores ruining your life. You also don’t need mediocre English muffins, which is what these are when you take away the chocolate marshmallow frosting.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 muffin – 150 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 gram of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Modest cocoa-flavor hangs in the background. Tastes better than a regular English muffin if you eat it plain. Inevitably signals the coming of peach cobbler English muffins come August.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like a s’more. Very lackluster marshmallow and graham elements. Even worse toasted. Overly doughy chew.

REVIEW: Thomas’ Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins

Thomas Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins

Where does the noble English muffin rank on the breakfast bread hierarchy?

They’re not better than bagels. They definitely can’t compete with a good biscuit. If you wanna get frisky and involve waffles or griddle cakes, forget about it. So what are they better than? Toast? I’d argue some types of toasted bread are better too.

Point is, in order for me to pick the English muffin, it really has to stand out. That’s where our old friend Thomas comes in. Thomas, you cheeky bloke, you’ve gone and done it again.

Cheers to your newest concoction – Bacon Buttermilk Pancake.

Thomas Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins 2

Thomas’ Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins are only on shelves for six weeks, so by the time you say “Thomas’ Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins” you’ve already wasted critical time.

While this sounds exciting on paper, it’s my job to tell all you nook-heads and cranniacs whether or not you should add these to your grocery lists while you can.

I’m torn.

My first English muffin was also torn. Could be that I’m just a moron (checks out), but I always have a problem cutting an English muffin into nice equal halves. Why aren’t these fork split, Thomas? But I digress…

I don’t like to over-toast my muffins, so I went with a medium setting. A faint bacon and buttery maple smell wafted out. That was a highlight.

Thomas Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins 5

Once toasted, I used salted butter, but made sure to take a bite of the bare muffin first.

I didn’t really know what I tasted.

The part of the name I paid the least mind to actually came through the most. There is a pancakey mouth feel to the breading, that I assume was from the buttermilk. The texture seems slightly different from a normal English muffin. The nooks and crannies are the same, but the bottom of the muffin seems less coarse, and a bit more – brace yourselves for impact – moist. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, that seedy farina stuff is still all over the bottom of the muffin, and still gets everywhere.

I assumed the maple would be the strongest element, and while it was probably the most prominent flavor, it’s still barely there, and kinda stale.

The ingredients list real maple syrup, but it didn’t taste authentic to me.

Thomas Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins 3

There are little bacon bits, but don’t get too excited because they are “soy-based” “bacon.” I ate one of those separately and got a tiny smoked bacon kick, but there were so few that the flavor got lost overall.

Needless to say, these didn’t knock me over. I would have appreciated it if the fine chaps at Thomas went balls to the wall and dropped a flavor bomb on us, but they kept it subtle. Don’t expect McGriddle cake flavor here. If you make an egg sandwich on one of these muffins, I’m not sure you’d even notice the maple and bacon flavors.

Thomas Limited Edition Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins 4

I will say this; the best part may have been the aftertaste. How often is that the case with a food? After eating it, I was left with a strong buttery flavor, which I believe was from the muffin itself and not the butter I added. It was reminiscent of that scooped glob of whipped butter you get on a short stack at your favorite breakfast spot. I guess that’s the pancake element, which I feel was the most successful part, shockingly.

Like I said, I’m torn. Everyone’s taste buds are different, so I guess give ‘em a shot. You’ve got six weeks. Eat now or forever hold your peace.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 muffin – 160 calories, 20 calories from fat, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pancakey mouth feel. Slight maple flavor. Great aftertaste. Not much different from a regular Thomas English muffin. Gone in 6 weeks(?)
Cons: Not much flavor overall. Bacon is a no show. Better on paper. Cutting an English muffin is apparently rocket science. Farina on bottom gets everywhere. Gone in 6 weeks(?) “Ewwww, he said moist!!!”

REVIEW: Thomas’ Plain Bagel Thins

Let me start out by saying that I’m not much of a breakfast girl.

I mean, you got cereal, which is cold and unforgiving, and better suited as a late night snack if you ask me. (Especially if the cereal is Cap’n Crunch.) Then there’s oatmeal, which sometimes I will force myself to eat because while nutritionally it’s good for you, it’s kind of gross; especially if you make it from scratch. And I figure if either it’s artificially sweetened and flavored, overly processed gloppy glop from a packet or it’s naturally prepared gloppy glop from the canister, I guess I’ll take the gloppy glop from the canister and enjoy the benefits of a regular bowel movement. Oh, and yogurt? Don’t even get me started on effing yogurt.

Pretty much the only breakfast foods I enjoy are the ones that aren’t good for me, and as summer approaches and I go through my yearly ritual of “Operation Fitting Into Shit Again,” it really limits my options. Sometimes I will literally go the whole day without eating just to avoid breakfast, and then 5 o’clock hits and I eat things like a giant take-out burrito the size of a baby. And that is about as counterproductive as it is delicious.

One “healthier” option I’ve found that I do enjoy eating for breakfast is a low-fat or whole wheat English Muffin. Sure, I can deal with that. However, my last trip to the English Muffin aisle in my local grocery store yielded an unexpected and delightful surprise: Thomas’ Bagel Thins. Really Thomas’?

You mean to tell me that I can have all of the deliciousness of a bagel for roughly the same amount of calories as an English Muffin? And that I no longer have to stare with envy at my boyfriend’s Trader Joe’s Sesame Seed bagels sitting on the shelf, because he’s a bastard with fast metabolism and can eat giant doughy balls of seed-studded carby goodness for breakfast? This is the best thing to happen to my waistline since that time I got my wisdom teeth out and I couldn’t eat solid food for an entire week. And Bagel Thins won’t even give me the dry socket!

With an impressive four grams of fiber, Bagel Thins are nutritionally comparable so I don’t even have to feel guilty about replacing it with my usual whole wheat English Muffin. And with a couple of tablespoons of 1/3 less fat cream cheese — because everyone knows that fat-free cream cheese is basically like eating caulk — the whole shebang still clocks in under an impressive 200 calories. Heck, I can even throw in a glass of low-sugar orange juice into the mix for those numbers! Another way Bagel Thins are better than English Muffins is that, for about the same price, Bagel Thins come eight to a package whereas English Muffins only come with six. You don’t have to be a Harvard-educated mathematician to know that eight is better than six.

Thomas’ Bagel Thins are chewy and bagely, basically just like a regular bagel, and are about the same size, so it actually feels like you’re eating something substantial. Unlike one of Thomas’ sad little “mini bagels,” anyway – I mean, what are those even good for? My only real (albeit minor) gripe with the Bagel Thins was that because of their thinness, they unfortunately got cold really fast — especially if you’re slathering it with cold cream cheese from a cold refrigerator. Although on the other side of the coin, I could see the thinness lending itself perfectly as a bread/roll replacement for a sandwich or veggie burger. Quite frankly I’m surprised it took this long for America’s obsession of thinness (models, cell phones, televisions, etc.) to revolutionize the modern bagel, but it’s a trend I would like to see continue.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Bagel (46 grams) – 110 calories, 1 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein and 8% iron.)

Item: Thomas’ Plain Bagel Thins
Price: $3.29
Size: 8 Bagel Thins
Purchased at: Supreme Shop N’ Bag
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Low-calorie. Tastes like a real bagel. Only 110 calories. Eight is more than six. Fitting into shit again.
Cons: Fat-free cream cheese. Oatmeal. Boyfriends and their stupid fast metabolisms. The aftermath of gorging on baby-sized burritos.