You know that meme that says “name a more iconic duo” and then hits you with a pic of anything from Keenan and Kel to a guy jumping off a bridge with another guy watching the Cleveland Browns?

I tend to think apples and walnuts fall into that category of stuff that belongs together.

Apples, walnuts, feta, bacon, chicken, and cranberries? Now we’re complicating things. Perhaps that’s why I’m ambivalent towards Wendy’s new Harvest Chicken Salad, which not only attempts to Noah’s Ark-it out of pretty much every Wendy’s salad ingredient but also skates a little too close to the regular-menu Apple Pecan Chicken Salad.

I don’t mean to imply Wendy’s homage to autumn-in-salad-form isn’t good. Like most of Wendy’s salads, the ingredients push into fast casual territory. Skin-on red and green apples are crispy and mildly sweet; the chicken juicy and slightly smoky; the vinaigrette tangy and a tad bit tart. Add in crunchy, meaty glazed pecans (which were left off the first full-sized salad I ordered, unfortunately), and you’re looking at a filling meal.

But then there’s the bacon, complicating things. It’s not bad in and of itself since, duh, it’s a scientific impossibility that bacon detracts from anything and because Wendy’s makes really good bacon -— thick cut, substantial, with a great balance of fat and smoke. But I have no idea why it’s on this salad. Not only did it arrive on my full-size salad (I bought another half-sized one later since Wendy’s forgot my walnuts) in strips meant for sandwiches, but it took away the spotlight from the apples and walnuts.

Much like the bacon, the feta cheese feels out of place, like me when I show up to a wine and cheese party with a six pack of Shinerbock. Perhaps Wendy’s didn’t want to infringe on the Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, but the salty, mostly flavorless feta lacks the tang and funk of blue cheese that helps complement the apples. Even goat cheese would have been a better option than feta, especially since it’s tangy and has a slight sweetness that would have played well with the oddly-included dried cranberries.

I’m usually a big fan of Wendy’s salads, and while I loved the quality of the ingredients featured in the Harvest Chicken Salad, I can’t deny there’s a genuine lack of cohesion binding the salad together. Is it jump off a bridge because the Browns still haven’t won since 2016 dysfunctional? Goodness no. But when your iconic duo gets lost amidst even well executed extra ingredients, it’s time to get back to your bread and butter — or apples and walnuts.

(Nutrition Facts – Full Size – 570 calories, 23 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, 5 grams of fiber, and 23 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.79
Size: Full
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Apples are surprisingly crisp and flavorful for a prepackaged salad. Great execution on individual ingredients, especially the juicy chargrilled chicken. Meme potential in the apple and walnut combination.
Cons: Too many ingredients crowding up that apple and walnut synergy. Feta cheese is a real disappointment. Why are their cranberries in this salad? Botched salad construction.

What is it?

Wendy’s latest budget sandwich fix. The Buffalo Ranch Crispy Chicken Sandwich is a lightly breaded chicken patty smothered in Buffalo ranch sauce, topped with lettuce and a slice of Monterey Jack cheese, and served on a warm bun.

How is it?

My initial reaction when picking it up was that it felt very substantial for a buck, and indeed, it delivers. Wendy’s didn’t skimp on the sauce, which has a balanced creamy and spicy presence to it that comes through on every single bite.

The chicken tastes more “real” and authentic than the coveted McChicken, and while the sauce does most of the driving on the overall flavor, the patty is moist and crisp and does everything it should to bring the protein foundation for this spiced up cheap thrill.

Is there anything else I need to know?

As is the case with a lot of fast food sandwiches, the cheese didn’t add much and wasn’t fully melted sitting against the cold crisp lettuce. Initially, I was stoked to get a sandwich with cheese for such a cheap price, but I couldn’t really taste it and, in the absence of melty texture, it’s pretty unnecessary.

Conclusion:

While it’s a far cry from Wendy’s fantastic Homestyle Chicken Sandwich, that deep fries a whole chicken breast, the Buffalo Ranch Crispy Chicken Sandwich is a terrific chicken sandwich for the price.

It’s salty and creamy with enough spice to be satisfying without needing ample cups of water to survive. Wendy’s continues its tradition of offering some of the best chicken in fast food land and have a solid soldier to put forth in the budget battle of value menu supremacy.

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 360 calories, 19 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 1020 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

As a marketing writer for a semi-large organization, and as a perpetual bullshitter, I tend to appreciate the subtle ability of words to transform the same old thing into something completely different.

Let’s put our cards on the table: a straight description doesn’t work anymore. Nobody wants what is. Everyone wants what is ideal.

Case in point, what was the Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad seven years ago became the Summer Berry Chicken Salad two years ago and now has morphed into the Berry Burst Chicken Salad.

Granted, there are some slight variations, but who actually remembers a slight switcheroo in a cheese or a berry or a dressing?

For what it’s worth, what is basically the same salad from 2011 and 2016 is still delicious. Although, perhaps to stay consistent with the times, we should say it’s still delicious AF. Regardless, the salad has that rare ability to make you stop and say, “Wait, that came from Wendy’s?”

If you still haven’t had Wendy’s revamped grilled chicken, which debuted two years ago, get with the times, man. It’s juicy, succulent, and it has flavor like something grilled on one of those short-season Food Network summer grilling shows. I can’t believe I just said that about white meat. Anyways, the chicken is more than passable and a few notches above any pre-packed salad you’d find in the grocery store.

I was really impressed with the berries, particularly the strawberries, which had a slightly macerated taste and texture that was sweet without being cloying or overripe. The blueberries were by and large plump and ripe, their modest sweetness pairing nicely against the salty feta cheese. Both the cheese and the smoky, crunchy almonds, give the salad a hearty feel — perhaps even a burst.

The biggest drawbacks are the dressing and the amount of lettuce. The sweetness of the dressing tends to be a little too much with the berries. It’s like putting ketchup on my ketchup flavored potato chips -— both delicious, less so together. As for the lettuce, I feel like Elaine Benes might be cool with it, but when I’m fairly full and there’s still a forest staring back at me, sans chicken and berries, the ratio is a little off.

I told myself I wasn’t going to look at the past reviews of Wendy’s Chicken/Almond/Berry salad combos when scoring the Berry Burst Chicken Salad. Well, lo and behold I have no self-control and saw past scores of 8 and 9. Given that nothing much has changed, but more importantly, given that this is still a great salad, a 9 seems more than appropriate.

(Nutrition Facts – Full size – 460 calories, 17 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1090 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of sugar, 7 grams of fiber, and 41 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.79
Size: Full size
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: “Lots of fresh strawberries and blueberries” — literally ripped this line from the 2011 review, which is still applicable. Grilled chicken is a step above 2011 version. Well composed salad with super fresh ingredients. Crunchy almonds and feta cheese create good contrasts in flavors and textures.
Cons: Raspberry vinaigrette is like putting ketchup on ketchup potato chips. A little too much greenery. Lingering debate over the connotation of “chicken salad” vs. “salad with chicken.”

The American Southwest, a lone desert highway…

The boiling Sun is high in the sky as a pair of scorpions duel in the dust. A stereotyped tumbleweed rolls across the hot asphalt and off into the sandy distance. From out of a dust devil a 1968 Mercury Cougar rumbles by, the anonymous driver tossing a barely-touched hamburger out the window…

With a loud splat, a trademarked square patty burns as the covetous mayo sizzles in the heat. A grizzled old buzzard swoops down and starts picking at the errant smokey mushrooms that’ve spread across the road…

After the moderate disappointment of Wendy’s Smoky Mushroom mistake last month, America’s favorite flame-haired burger baroness and her hamburger-haranguing crew have returned from their vaunted test kitchens, ready to proudly present a brand-new limited-time pollo-based product that should very well have the fat lot of us making a run for the border — any border — come lunchtime tomorrow.

Snap those pearl-buttons tight on your favorite Navajo-print long-sleeve, tie that turquoise bolo a little bit higher than usual and do your damnedest to make room for the new Southwest Avocado Spicy Chicken Sandwich, a superb Santa Fe-inspired two-fisted tale of a sandwich that will surely satisfy the haunted hankerings of any random Ghost Rider in the Sky or hungry driver on the road.

Wendy’s has taken their coveted spicy chicken patty — already the basis of one of the best chicken sandwiches on the market — and have brazenly topped it with pepper jack cheese, Southwest ranch sauce, applewood-smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato and, best of all, a mega-dollop of creamy guacamole on a high and mighty bun that simply can’t contain all of this desert goodness.

The sheer heat of the spicy chicken provides a much-needed sensual burn, creating a tastebud dalliance with the inherent peppers and well-timed spices that definitely pleased my most masochistic palate. The cool ranch and ample supply of fresh guacamole provided a much needed balm from the burn, giving the Southwest Avocado Spicy Chicken Sandwich an absolutely perfect blend of sheer girth and delicious worth, one that devilishly transcends these “limited-time only” gimmick eats.

Meanwhile, there is also a salad-based variation available that substitutes grilled chicken breast and adds two scoops of avocado seasoned with lime juice and salt to top off the lettuce, tomatoes, shredded pepper jack cheese, Southwest ranch dressing and, yes, applewood-smoked bacon, that makes up the most of the green concoction.

Calorically and nutritionally, while I’m not exactly sure who this salad is for — I would’ve much rather had these accoutrements on top of a steaming hot baked potato, wouldn’t you? — it’s nowhere near as bad as it probably could’ve been. It’s got a great crunch to it and the double avocado is a mean green treat, but don’t go chasing waterfalls thinking it’s a viable part of any health-based diet-plan.

The American Southwest, a lone desert highway…

As the opening riff of ZZ Top’s “La Grange” blares from the factory original stereo, a 1968 Mercury Cougar pulls over to the barren side of the road. Pulling off his shades, our hero looks down the front of his black leather jacket, most which is covered in guacamole.

“Dammit…” he laments as he can’t find a clean napkin in his Wendy’s bag. With mild shame, he starts licking it clean, but it’s finally worth it. Cómpralo ya!

(Nutrition Facts – Sandwich – 690 calories, 34 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1480 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, 6 grams of fiber, and 38 grams of protein. Salad (Full) – 600 calories 41 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 1220 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, 7 grams of fiber, and 42 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.79 (sandwich) $6.69 (salad)
Size: N/A
Rating: 10 out of 10 (Sandwich)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Salad)
Pros: Extra spicy. Surprisingly large portions. Doesn’t skimp on the guacamole
Cons: The salad is kind of pointless, would’ve worked better on a baked potato.

Wait, chicken tenders are a thing again?

When McDonald’s killed its Chicken Selects in 2015, I could have sworn the burger-centric fast foods chains were done with premium, dippable chicken. But the resurrection of McDonald’s Chicken Selects as Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Tenders seems to have started something a trend. Case in point, Wendy’s feels the need to one-up the Golden Arches with brand new Chicken Tenders and a never-before-seen sauce – Side of S’awesome.

I’ve eaten a couple hundred pounds of chicken tenders and I can tell you these are decent as far as the all-white meat stuff goes. They lack the kind of succulent, peanut oil-infused flavor of Chick-fil-A’s tenders, and you’re not going to mistake them for Raising Cane’s or Zaxby’s. But the breading is crisp and well seasoned, the chicken isn’t dry, and there are no textural abnormalities like slimy meat or hollow crevasses under the breading.

But the flavor is predictable: the ubiquitous garlic, onion powder, salt, and black pepper mix you’ve probably tasted in dozens of chain restaurant and food service tenders. In other words, unless you’re really into the breading, you’re gonna want something to dip these in.

I’m assuming Wendy’s came up with the name for their S’awesome Sauce because someone thought it was cool; that or “Spread,” “Fry Sauce,” and “Ed’s Sauce” were already taken. In any case, they should have named it “It’s Alright Sauce” because it’s okay.

Advertised as “tangy, sweet, and smoky,” it has elements of the first two flavors but very little smokiness unless you count the whisper of Worcestershire on the backend. Overall, it trends neither distinctly tangy or sweet, instead finding a mild middle ground which tastes like two parts mayo, one part mustard, and one part ketchup. But it doesn’t pop; it doesn’t wow; it doesn’t make me lick my fingers and declare to my coworkers that this shit is s’awesome.

Put another way, if dipping is your thing, then you’ll probably want to stick with your usual Wendy’s go-to sauce.

When I saw that McDonald’s brought back chicken tenders, and then Wendy’s followed suit, my first instinct was to ask myself why major fast food chains had deserted them in the first place. But now that I’ve tried Wendy’s new Chicken Tenders, I can’t help notice how ordinary they taste when lined up against the Raising Cane’s, Zaxby’s, and Chick-fil-A’s of the world. And, unfortunately, even a name like S’awesome Sauce can’t hide the fact that the entire combo is average.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 pieces – 300 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 920 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 22 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5 combo ($3.49 for order of 3)
Size: 3-piece combo
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Meatier alternative to Wendy’s nuggets. Solid crunch and well seasoned breading. Lower in calories than most chicken tenders.
Cons: S’awesome Sauce is pretty average. Tenders aren’t particularly succulent or juicy. Breading flavor is predictable. $5 combo meal isn’t as good as Dairy Queen’s $5 chicken tenders lunch.