REVIEW: Snapple Antioxidant Water

With each having their own color and special power, I was hoping these five flavors of Snapple Vitamin Antioxidant Water would combine to form a huge robot, like Voltron: Defender of the Universe or the >Mighty Morphin Power Ranger’s Megazord.

Despite dressing up like King Zarkon from the Planet Doom and throwing other plastic bottles into the trash, instead of recycling them, the Snapple Vitamin Antioxidant Water plastic bottles did nothing to stop my evil ways.

Although Captain Planet did appear and attacked me while saying, “I’ve found another use for these bottles and that’s to kick your ass with them.”

The Snapple Vitamin Antioxidant Water comes in seven flavors, but I was only able to try five of them: Grape Pomegranate, Agave Melon, Strawberry Acai, Orange Starfruit, and Tropical Mango. According to the labels, they all have the power to do something beyond quenching a thirst.

Grape seed extract in the Grape Pomegranate has the power to defy, electrolytes in the Agave Melon has the power to restore, 60 milligrams of caffeine in the Strawberry Acai has the power to awaken, while Vitamin C in the Orange Starfruit and Tropical Mango have the power to protect.

Oh, if only one of them had the power of telekinesis or the power to sober.

Every flavor I tried was good. My two favorite flavors were the unusual tasting Agave Melon and the Strawberry Acai. Overall, they seemed a little less watered down than Glaceau’s Vitamin Water, despite their sugar content being about the same at about 30 grams per bottle. Speaking about similarities with Vitamin Water, the Snapple Vitamin Antioxidant Water also has semi-witty writing on its label, they don’t contain high-fructose corn syrup, and of course, they can’t form into a gigantic robot to fight evil.

Item: Snapple Antioxidant Water
Price: 99 cents each (20-ounces)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: All the flavors I tried tasted good. Agave Melon and Strawberry Acai were my favorites. Vitamins A & E. Less watered down taste than Vitamin Water. Electrolytes. No high-fructose corn syrup. Strawberry Acai flavor has 60 milligrams of caffeine.
Cons: Vitamin Water copycat, even includes semi-witty copy on label. Can’t combine to form gigantic robot to fight evil. None has the ability to sober. Getting your ass kicked by Captain Planet.

14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Snapple Antioxidant Water”

  1. So, did you dress up in the appropriate colored Power Rangers costume for each flavor that you drank?

    My friend had small children who were big Ranger fans back in the 90’s. He still despises them and their mighty morphing ways.

  2. Why does every water feel the need to be witty? I’m trying to hydrate myself not watch an episode of Gilmore Girls for crying out loud. Then again maybe the water is better… carry on Snapple.

  3. I kind of like the semi-witty comments. It makes me feel like I’m sharing an inside joke with my water.

  4. I had the agave melon last week and didn’t really care for it. In fact, I pretty much dislike all vitamin waters and their ilk. I think my body has begun to reject everything that might be remotely healthy for me.

  5. Damn, do I remember Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I’m embarrassed to say that I was a fan. Never mind that the acting was awful, and the sets were complete shit (every time a monster would knock down a building, it fell apart because you could tell it was made of flimsy cardboard) I watched that crap every week.

    As for the product, I might try the Agave Melon, but otherwise, I’ll stick to the Vitamin Water.

  6. I want to see Captain Caveman vs Captain Planet.

    Anyone else tired of seeing this vitamin antioxidant shite on the shelves? I like my water plain like I like my vodka.

  7. Chuck – Unfortunately, I don’t fit into the Yellow Ranger’s suit.

    Shann – I think this is probably a special introductory price. I’m sure it will jump if Snapple Antioxidant Water catches on.

    thatseattlebroad – Water has low self-esteem issues and has no looks, so all its got is wit.

    Karen – Just like the kids I babysit, I like my water to be quiet.

    Ace – The agave melon does have an unusual taste and that’s why I like it. It’s like my attraction to Suicide Girls.

    Brie – You know something that is REALLY bad can be REALLY good, like the MMPR.

    Susu – I say let’s throw in Cap’n Crunch into the mix.

    Shannon – I didn’t get to try the plain pomegranate one. I am sad. I shall rub pomegranate fruit over my body to make up for it, while reciting lines from Shakespeare.

    liz – Grocery stores start coming out with their own brand of vitamin antioxidant water, that’s when it’s time to walk away.

    demondoll – I’ll stick with the shitty tattoos on the Fruit Stripe gum wrappers.

  8. I haven’t tried these nor do I plan to. But I did discover a new Pop-Tart flavor that I’m terrified to try but seems like the type of thing I could entrust to you to tell me if they taste good:

    Strawberry Cheese Danish.

    Sounds crazy and awful. But if you can find them on your rock, please review them 🙂

  9. PixieGal26 – I tried those awhile back, I don’t get a chance to review them, but I can tell you that they were all right. I’ve never had a strawberry cheese danish, so I really don’t have anything to compare them with, but it is probably one of my least favorite Pop-Tarts.

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