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Fizzy Lizzy Brings the Izzy
The founder of Fizzy Lizzy, whose name is Liz (go figure) sent me an email after reading TIB’s review of the Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy. Of course, a lot of the information I gave about the artwork on the Fizzy Lizzy bottle were uneducated guesses and probably inaccurate, because I am an ignorant [...]
Continue reading...Winners of Weird Japanese Soda Announced!!!
31 July 2008
I’m going to announce the winners of the recent prize drawing we held here at TIB for the Pepsi Blue Hawaii. Right off the bat, I have to say that almost all of you didn’t win, but do not fret because we will be holding a new prize drawing really soon. What are [...]
Continue reading...Spearmint Pure Mints
30 July 2008
I never thought a company would make a product specifically for vain douchebags, but the Spearmint Pure Mints with its included mirror under the lid seems like it’s perfect for those who like fresh breath and enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror while admiring their perceived awesomeness. (Editor’s Note: These Pure Mints [...]
Continue reading...Method Sea Mineral Hand Wash Refill
28 July 2008
I’d like to think I’m an eco-friendly person. I recycle plastic bottles, glass, newspapers, and cardboard; I drive 40 miles per hour on the freeway and get called “grandma” by non-eco-friendly drivers to maximize my car’s gas mileage; I take lame gifts given to me, rewrap them, and give them to someone else; [...]
Continue reading...Wrigley’s 5 Gum (Lush and Elixir)
25 July 2008
Back in my day, the only fruit-flavored gum we had was Juicy Fruit. It came in banana yellow packaging, you couldn’t make bubbles for shit with it, it did nothing to freshen breath, and if I were caught chewing it, I got called “fruity,” which at 10 years old I had no idea what [...]
Continue reading...Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy
23 July 2008
I know what you’re thinking to yourself. Who is this Lizzy? Why is she fizzy? And why can’t Lizzy take some Tums to stop making her fizzy? I could search the internet through Google, Wikipedia, or the Fizzy Lizzy website, but that would make me dizzy. However, by looking at [...]
Continue reading...Starbucks Vivanno Nourishing Blends
22 July 2008
Oh yeah, Ms. Starbucks Barista. I see you flashing your smile at me, even though I’m in the back of this line that’s ten people deep and I’m partially hidden behind the rack of CDs I would never purchase for myself, but if you want, I could purchase one just for you, even though [...]
Continue reading...Hot Pockets Philly Steak and Cheese Croissant
18 July 2008
If Hot Pockets were a movie franchise, it would probably be Batman. Like Batman, the Hot Pocket has a crusty exterior but a center that burns hotter than a thousand blazing suns. Anyone who’s ever scorched their taste buds on a Pocket after not waiting the recommended minute can attest to this. Both franchises bring [...]
Continue reading...Kraft Cheddar Macaroni & Cheese Crackers
17 July 2008
Somewhere on this vast planet we call Earth, there is a lazy macaroni and cheese lover who is thinking they can now have the goodness of their favorite food without the damn preparation with these new Kraft Cheddar Macaroni & Cheese Crackers. I applaud that person for their desire to be the laziest fucker [...]
Continue reading...Lay’s Pinch of Salt Potato Chips
15 July 2008
Like alcohol in the hands of really bored housewives, potato chips can be addictive. If I had a dollar for every time I opened a big bag of potato chips and got to the point when I said “Holy shit! I can’t believe I ate half the bag,” I’d have enough money to [...]
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31 July 2008
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