REVIEW: Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl

Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl

Sometimes I buy a product to please the Television Advertising Gods in hopes that they stop playing the DAMN annoying commercial that promotes the product.

This was the case with the new Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl.

The commercial goes something like this:

Some guy and his cute girlfriend come up to the register. The guy asks the person at the register if it’s true that the employees won’t make a Zesty Chicken Border Bowl, until they order it. The person working the register says yes.

Then the guy jerks around with the Taco Bell employees by not completing their order for the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl. This goes on for a while, until the cute girlfriend interrupts him and finishes the order.

Why is it that some cute and smart women end up with assholes?

Anyway, in hopes of putting a stop to this commercial, I purchased a Zesty Chicken Border Bowl with it’s grilled, marinated all-white-meat chicken; cool, crisp lettuce; fiesta salsa; hot steaming rice; and warm beans. It also came with a dressing, which apparently gives it its zest.

I decided to taste the dressing first to find out if it was going to be another McDonald’s buffalo sauce.

Well the dressing tasted like crap, but I thought the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl wouldn’t be a Zesty Chicken Border Bowl without the zest, so I added it.

To my surprise, mixing it with the Border Bowl made it taste pretty good.

I guess it’s kind of like how fertilizer smells and tastes like crap, but when added to a flower garden, it makes the garden look beautiful.

You might be wondering how this is possible. Well let’s just chalk it up as one of those mysteries that may never get solved because most people don’t care, like whether or not Creed was a Christian rock band.

Despite sacrificing a Zesty Chicken Border Bowl, I still see the DAMN commercial.

It’s a good thing the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl is tasty, because it looks like I’m going to have to eat a few more to please the Television Advertising Gods.

Item: Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl
Purchase Price: $3.79
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A meal in a bowl. Border Bowl tastes good with dressing.
Cons: Damn annoying commercial. Dressing tastes like crap without Border Bowl. Didn’t please Television Advertising Gods.

14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl”

  1. I must try it! Maybe if we all try it at least once the commercial will stop? Did you keep asking the person at the counter if they made it fresh to order? lol

  2. I usually stay away from “Toxic Hell”, but now I’m starving for the zesty chicken border bowl…sounds like a plan for lunch today!!!! Thanks Marvo!

  3. I’ve tried buying things before to shut commercials up.

    It doesn’t work. In fact, it makes it seem like the commercial plays even more, because you spent your money on it. Feels like the commercial is just rubbing it in: “I made you buy me, I made you buy me.”

  4. It makes for a great cap to the end of a very long night. Although trying to eat one in the back seat of a Mini Cooper is not recommended.

  5. I’ve been wanting to try this but trying to remember that Taco Bell always makes me sick. Oh well, I will forget soon.

  6. I HATE that commercial and they run the dang thing every 5 minutes. I tried their other bowl items and thought they were ok, but I don’t like the little red strips in them. 😉

  7. I dunno, I can’t really trust Taco Bell…or any fast food place that ‘fabricates’ their meat before selling it. I’ll eat it, sure, I’m a guy, I eat pretty much anything, but …I will only eat one thing from Taco Bell anyway…soft tacos…Hell, I don’t even have good reasoning for this, but *meh*

  8. I HATE that effin’ commericial…

    I want that employee to reach over the counter and choke him …like “I’m working for $5.15 here you m*tha effing prick – now WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT!!!!???”

    If the commercial had been written that way? I might have tried the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl.

  9. Busy Mom – I usually associate fertilizer with the McDonald’s menu.

    Chana – I think we have to sacrifice the Yo Quiero chihuahua in order to stop the commercial. As for messing with the counter person, I decided not to do it because I’m sure they get that a lot from other a**holes.

    Aymie – We have a saying here, “Taco Bell coming in, Taco Hell coming out.”

    Aymie’s mom – I hope you’re thanking me after you eat it.

    Teeters – Yeah, I noticed that the commercial seems to be playing more. But it once worked with the Burger King Angus Burger.

    Rob – I don’t think it’s safe to eat ANYTHING in the back seat of a Mini Cooper.

    lightpinksheep – Try it. Try it. The ghost of the Yo Quiero chihuahua is calling you.

    Jessica – Isn’t it scary when you don’t know what those little red strips are.

    Arrhythmia – Usually I’ll eat two bean burritos from Taco Bell. Talk about Taco Hell…

    webmiztris – I believe that you just described every fast food workers’ wet dream.

  10. Three things:

    1. Thank god cut girlfriends end up with assholes.
    2. I refuse to eat at taco bell. Even at 1am in Washington DC when I don’t know where anything is and I haven’t eaten for 8 hours because the Subway in Maryland off I-95 was out of bread [bread for god’s sake, they make it themselves!] and still I refused to go to Taco Bell
    3. Despite refusing to go ot Taco Bell this salad thing looks really good, probably because I’m really inebriated.

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