With Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith opening tomorrow, The Impulsive Buy decided to review a product that promotes Star Wars. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. Products that promote Star Wars? If there’s one movie that doesn’t need promotional products it’s Star Wars.
Star Wars needs promotion like we need another movie with Paris Hilton. Both are very unnecessary.
Anyway, there are literally hundreds of Star Wars-related products available and deciding which one to review was a hard choice. However, I decided to review Star Wars Cereal because there are marshmallows in it. Yahtzee!
The Impulsive Buy was fortunate to interview Jedi Master Yoda for this review, who just so happened to be on the front of the Star Wars Cereal box I bought.
TIB: Yoda, thank you for agreeing to do this interview.
Yoda: Conan O’Brien you are not.
TIB: Sorry, I’m not.
Yoda: Interviews, doing too many I am. Keeping track I cannot. Fire agent I will.
TIB: Anyway, so how does it feel to have your face on a box of Star Wars cereal?
Yoda: Many things my face is on. Cereal box, potato chips, pencils, candy, endless the list is. Prostituted me Lucas has. On the back of adult diapers, if my face appeared, surprised I would not be.
TIB: You also have a marshmallow in the Star Wars Cereal. Isn’t that pretty cool?
Yoda: Seen the Yoda marshmallow have you? Look like me it does not. Blind Kellogg’s must be. Also, Darth Vader marshmallow, blue it is. Even with eyes over 900 years old, the color of Darth Vader I can see.
TIB: I’ve tried the cereal and I thought it tasted pretty good, like Lucky Charms. Did you try it and what did you think of it?
Yoda: Yes, years ago cereal I have tried. Like it I did.
TIB: Years ago?
Yoda: With lightsaber fight scene with Count Dooku in Attack of the Clones help me it did. Without sugar in cereal, bounce off walls and spin around I could not. To get me hyper, in this small body, not much sugar it takes.
TIB: So the Star Wars Cereal is a limited edition cereal. Can you use your Jedi powers to determine if it will be worth anything in the future?
Yoda: On eBay you wish to sell?
TIB: Yes.
Yoda: Jedi powers for profit? Use I will not. But Britney’s first child, typical trailer trash it will become.
TIB: It doesn’t take the Force to figure that out, Yoda.
Yoda: Hmm…True that is.
TIB: Now on the back of the cereal box, puzzles there are. Dammit, Yoda! Talking like you, I am!
Yoda: No, Jedi mind trick that was. No Jedi powers for profit, but Jedi powers for entertainment, another story that is.
TIB: Well I know you’re busy, so here’s my last question. The last two Star Wars movies weren’t very good. Is the last movie any good?
Yoda: Last two movies, my fault it was not. Puppet I am. Act better than Hayden Christensen in first two movies I did. Besides, watch it you will anyway, because last Star Wars movie it is.
TIB: True. Well Yoda, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to visit with us.
Yoda: Welcome, you are.
Item: Star Wars Cereal
Purchase Price: $2.97
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasted like Lucky Charms. Puzzles on the back of box were easy. Limited edition cereal. It may be worth more than retail price someday.
Cons: Yoda and Darth Vader marshmallows don’t look like them. Hayden Christensen’s acting in the first two Star Wars prequels. Revenge of the Sith is the last Star Wars movie.