REVIEW: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Protein Cereal

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You can't spell gains without Kellogg's Raisin Bran.

Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Protein Cereal has one gram less fiber and four grams more protein than Kellogg’s original Raisin Bran, and I know that off the top of my head. Why am I admitting to the least impressive flex ever? Because I have an Amazon Subscribe & Save subscription for regular Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, and since there are no puzzles on the back of the box for me to solve, all I have to read while eating the cereal is the nutrition facts.

The flakes in Raisin Bran Protein are thicker than the flakes in Raisin Bran.

If you LOVE the malty, bran-forward taste of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, you might be disappointed with what this variation offers. It doesn’t taste like the original, just with added protein. Some might see that as an improvement, but I don’t. Even with a “touch of cinnamon,” which is an accurate description because it’s liiiiiiight, the flavor isn’t an upgrade. I notice the spice, but I wish this had a gentle rubdown of cinnamon rather than the whisper it currently offers.

It was easy to take this picture because I always have a box of Raisin Bran in my kitchen.

It also doesn’t feel like regular Raisin Bran. The flakes are closer in texture to those in Raisin Bran Crunch, which, again, some might see as an improvement because the thin flakes in the regular version go soggy quickly. They’re thicker, probably due to the soy protein isolate, and that thickness makes them more crunchy than crispy. So I guess the protein can help bulk up bran flakes as well as muscles.

What could use some bulking up is the flavor of the shriveled grapes, which are not as sweet as what’s in the original. This makes their taste less noticeable than what’s in regular Raisin Bran. Also, and maybe it’s just my box, there appear to be fewer than two scoops of them. A stronger cinnamon punch might’ve made up for the diminished raisins, but of course, that didn’t happen.

Other than the protein, this cereal is a lesser version of Kellogg’s original Raisin Bran. As a fan and regular eater of the classic, I thought this protein-enhanced version could eventually be my go-to when it comes to shriveled grapes and bran flakes. But its underwhelming cinnamon flavor and raisins delivered two scoops of disappointment.

Purchased Price: $5.69
Size: 17.3 oz box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/4 cup – 61 grams) 210 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar (includes 7 grams of added sugar), and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Chocolate Peanut Cereal

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They're g-r-r-reatly disappointing. I should've Photoshopped that on the box.

If I were dressed up as a tiger with a red bandanna again, I’d say about Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Chocolate Peanut Cereal, “They’re g-r-r-reatly disappointing.”

What original Frosted Flakes has gotten right is how to turn plain corn flakes into corn flakes as sweet as cakes. But this cereal doesn’t hit that level of sweetness. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s far from being a cereal that nutrition influencers that sell products with dubious claims would approve of, but it’s not sweet enough to make the 10-year-old in me get out of bed in the morning.

They look chocolatey, but taste is whole different story.

While their dark brown coating makes them look and smell quite chocolatey, they don’t have a flavor that equals their appearance or scent. They’re noticeably less chocolatey tasting than Cocoa Pebbles and Cocoa Puffs, which is disappointing for a cereal that is being marketed to the same folks who consume those classic cereals, whether they’re actual kids or just kids at heart.

I initially thought maybe its chocolatey level is the way it is because it needs to allow the peanut flavor to come through. However, I’ve eaten enough peanuts to make Mr. Peanut use his cane as a weapon when he sees me, so I know what I’m supposed to taste, but I don’t detect it here. What my taste buds do notice is something that’s kind of fruity, which might be the result of combining the chocolate and this cereal’s attempt at a peanut flavor.

I’m extremely surprised Frosted Flakes didn’t go with a peanut butter and chocolate combination, because that’s a more eye-catching and mouth-watering combo. While chocolate and peanut instantly bring Peanut M&M’s to mind, the appeal of peanut butter and chocolate is a lot stronger.

The milk looks chocolatey, but taste is whole different story.

Along with a red bandanna-wearing tiger, the box’s front cover also promises that the cereal makes chocolatey-flavored milk. But while it looks as brown as what’s in a bottle of Nesquik, after the cereal sits in milk for a while, its chocolatiness is as tame as a newborn tiger cub.

Even though I’m stuck with a family-size box, it’s okay enough that I’ll get through it eventually. However, these dressed-up Frosted Flakes could gr-r-r-reatly use a bit more chocolate and a lot more peanut flavor.

Purchased Price: $5.69
Size: 22.3 oz box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup/39 grams – cereal only) 140 calories, 1 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (includes 11 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Cocoa Loops Cereal

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Kellogg’s Cocoa Loops Cereal box

While some cereals churn out new varieties all the time, Toucan Sam has mostly been content to stay in his lane, or should I say loop, for sixty years. There have occasionally been marshmallows added, or the rings swapped for hearts for Valentine’s Day, but the fruity essence has remained largely the same until now. A new iteration, Cocoa Loops, has arrived on shelves and is slated to be a permanent addition to the Kellogg’s lineup. This feels overdue, but perhaps it took this long to perfect things?

The box features a delighted Sam along with his niece and nephews, stirring up some liquidy-looking chocolate batter that looks like it should become brownies, but the crew is somehow able to use their feather-fingers to form it into tiny hoops. There’s a pleasant cocoa scent upon opening the bag, not overwhelming but enough to let you know it’s a chocolate cereal. When eaten on its own, the cocoa flavor doesn’t come through as much as I’d like, and I don’t enjoy the chalky experience of eating it dry.

Kellogg’s Cocoa Loops Cereal dry

Cereal is one of the easiest foods to assemble, since it basically only requires you to pour it into a bowl and add milk. But I know there are a lot of people out there who, due to laziness or personal preference, sometimes skip the milk component. If you’re looking for a cereal to snack on by the handful, keep looking cause this isn’t it. But that’s not a deal breaker, let’s try it with milk!

Kellogg’s Cocoa Loops Cereal in milk

Cocoa Loops fares so much better with this addition. When given the chance to mingle with milk for a few moments, the corn and oat-based loops soften to a nice texture and aren’t quick to sog. The chocolate flavor is more pronounced, and it’s a big improvement, but I still don’t think I’d choose it over already established chocolate favorites in the aisle. The box declares that it “makes milk chocolatey!”, and as with most chocolate cereals, if you truly want to experience chocolate milk flavor and not just milk that’s a slightly darker shade, you’ll have to let that bowl sit around for a while.

Kellogg’s Cocoa Loops Cereal back of box

I’m unsure if it’s intentionally goofy in the name of being “loopy,” but I have to mention some bizarre aspects of the box art. We have one nephew sounding like a Bluey knockoff by introducing himself as Pluey, and according to a heart-shaped craft project on the kitchen shelf, these kids refer to their uncle as “Uncle Toucan Sam”. I get that they can’t call him Uncle Sam without sounding like they’re talking about the familiar red, white, and blue-clad figure, but something about this moniker seems strange and redundant. Cocoa Loops with milk are a perfectly acceptable but not especially remarkable cereal. Without milk, I think these are for the birds.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 9.2 oz box
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 ¼ cup) 140 calories, 2 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of total sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin’ Brown Sugar Cinnamon

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Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin' Brown Sugar Cinnamon box

There will come a time, likely at the beginning of next month if history is any indicator, where many of us in the junk food community — myself included — will find ourselves standing in front of a bathroom mirror, or on an unforgiving bathroom scale, lamenting the devious being who invented Chex Party Mix, puppy chow, and those delightfully sinful temptations that haunt my dreams, Oreo balls. We will pledge to right the ship in the new year by eschewing things that weren’t grown in dirt or on trees, by taking walks over our lunch breaks, and by avoiding sugar like it’s the door handle of a grade school bathroom.

We know how to eat healthy, sure. The problem is eating healthy isn’t always delicious, and as human people, we like to eat delicious things. Kellogg’s is trying to up its share of the health food market by cramming its beloved breakfast pastries with extra protein. Okay, so “cramming” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. And make no mistake, despite the increased amount of protein, these are still far from healthy food.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a pretty harsh Pop-Tart critic. Over the last several years, Pop-Tarts, as much if not more so than any other food, seemed to have suffered from shrinkflation. With each passing package, they seem to lose frosting coverage, and, much like my joy while consuming, the filling has diminished. I just can’t justify the sugar and the calories when I get so little happiness in return. The new extra protein version, however, was a markedly different experience.

Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin' Brown Sugar Cinnamon icing

Each pastry was covered in frosting, with only the barest edge of crust untouched. There seemed to be more filling than I’ve grown accustomed to, too. I had Protein Boostin’ Brown Sugar Cinnamon (Brown Sugar Cinnamon being the best all-time regular Pop-Tart, of course), and each bite was full of that familiar cinnamon-y goodness. (These also come in Bumpin’ Blueberry and Slammin’ Strawberry, because, in the name of health, food must be bumped, slammed, and/or boosted, obviously.)

The only difference I could notice from a regular Pop-Tart was the texture; these were chewier than usual, but not to the point of distraction. What I mean is, if you haven’t had a normal Pop-Tart in several years, the textural difference probably won’t even be noticeable.

Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin' Brown Sugar Cinnamon filling

I enjoyed the box I bought enough to want to try the other varieties. I’d be surprised if they remain on shelves, though. People looking for gainz won’t find many here — 10 grams for two tarts from milk protein concentrate and wheat protein, isn’t exactly incredible, and only double the original, plus you’re ingesting 31 grams of sugar along the way — and the regular Pop-Tart consumer probably won’t be bothered to spend an extra buck.

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 14.3 oz box/8 pastries
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Pop-Tarts) 400 calories, 11 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 31 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Stranger Things Demogorgon Crunch Cereal

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Kellogg's Stranger Things Demogorgon Crunch Cereal Box

Stranger Things is in the midst of a generational run when it comes to brand collabs months before a show or movie releases. The fifth and final season of the popular Netflix show begins its three-part rollout on Thanksgiving, but branded products began popping up on shelves as early as July and August. I’m looking at you, God-awful Chocolate Strawberry Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies that were so bad we didn’t even review them here — yuck. From Cake Bites to Klondike Ice Cream Cones to frozen pizzas and endless amounts of clothing, candy, and candles, the Stranger Things finale is not coming or going quietly.

Fortunately for the cereal-lovers (me), whereas most brands phone it in with a generic-flavored colorful puff cereal to promote their movie or show (Wednesday, Wicked, Bluey, etc), the brand new Stranger Things Demogorgon Crunch is not only an under-utilized flavor, but perfectly on theme for the show. Demogorgon Crunch is a syrup-flavored cereal with Upside Down marshmallows, in the shape of a flashlight, a demogorgon, and a d20 die.

Kellogg's Stranger Things Demogorgon Crunch Cereal close up

If you are wondering where Eggo Cereal went, I have your answer: right here. Eggo cereal has never been as punchy, intense, and downright delicious as Post’s Waffle Crisp, and the same remains true for this “new” spin by Kellogg’s. But it makes perfect sense. In the show, Eleven eats tons of Eggo waffles, and there is already a new line of Eggo waffles out for the show’s final season. I can’t be mad at a company for doing an obvious slam dunk move and pulling it off. The hefty cereal pieces bear a nice, slightly mild maple flavor with a touch of butteriness that works well as a dry snack and holds their own in milk perfectly.

Kellogg's Stranger Things Demogorgon Crunch Cereal in a bowl

Generally speaking, marshmallows make every cereal better, and this is no exception. The marshmallows have a very sweet, vanilla-leaning flavor that is more pronounced than most cereal marshmallows and stands out well against the maple notes. My one major complaint is that, compared to Lucky Charms or my beloved Monster Cereals, the marshmallow-to-cereal-ratio is a bit lacking. To be fair, the cereal pieces here have a lot more flavor than most marshmallow-laden breakfast boxes, but I still could use more with this otherwise really satisfying release.

Kellogg's Stranger Things Demogorgon Crunch Cereal back of box

The box design and theming of Demogorgon Crunch is a 10 out of 10. I love the retro look and feel of the entire presentation, and the product is good enough to keep around on shelves beyond just a promotional item, too. This is the first time I have tried a maple cereal with marshmallows, and I am in favor of bringing this one back once it inevitably vanishes into the Upside Down after the promo cycle ends.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 12.1 ounces
Purchased at: Target.com
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3 cup. 40g) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 14 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of protein.

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