REVIEW: Kellogg’s Star Wars Cereal

Star Wars Cereal

With Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith opening tomorrow, The Impulsive Buy decided to review a product that promotes Star Wars. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. Products that promote Star Wars? If there’s one movie that doesn’t need promotional products it’s Star Wars.

Star Wars needs promotion like we need another movie with Paris Hilton. Both are very unnecessary.

Anyway, there are literally hundreds of Star Wars-related products available and deciding which one to review was a hard choice. However, I decided to review Star Wars Cereal because there are marshmallows in it. Yahtzee!

The Impulsive Buy was fortunate to interview Jedi Master Yoda for this review, who just so happened to be on the front of the Star Wars Cereal box I bought.

TIB: Yoda, thank you for agreeing to do this interview.

Yoda: Conan O’Brien you are not.

TIB: Sorry, I’m not.

Yoda: Interviews, doing too many I am. Keeping track I cannot. Fire agent I will.

TIB: Anyway, so how does it feel to have your face on a box of Star Wars cereal?

Yoda: Many things my face is on. Cereal box, potato chips, pencils, candy, endless the list is. Prostituted me Lucas has. On the back of adult diapers, if my face appeared, surprised I would not be.

TIB: You also have a marshmallow in the Star Wars Cereal. Isn’t that pretty cool?

Yoda: Seen the Yoda marshmallow have you? Look like me it does not. Blind Kellogg’s must be. Also, Darth Vader marshmallow, blue it is. Even with eyes over 900 years old, the color of Darth Vader I can see.

TIB: I’ve tried the cereal and I thought it tasted pretty good, like Lucky Charms. Did you try it and what did you think of it?

Yoda: Yes, years ago cereal I have tried. Like it I did.

TIB: Years ago?

Yoda: With lightsaber fight scene with Count Dooku in Attack of the Clones help me it did. Without sugar in cereal, bounce off walls and spin around I could not. To get me hyper, in this small body, not much sugar it takes.

TIB: So the Star Wars Cereal is a limited edition cereal. Can you use your Jedi powers to determine if it will be worth anything in the future?

Yoda: On eBay you wish to sell?

TIB: Yes.

Yoda: Jedi powers for profit? Use I will not. But Britney’s first child, typical trailer trash it will become.

TIB: It doesn’t take the Force to figure that out, Yoda.

Yoda: Hmm…True that is.

TIB: Now on the back of the cereal box, puzzles there are. Dammit, Yoda! Talking like you, I am!

Yoda: No, Jedi mind trick that was. No Jedi powers for profit, but Jedi powers for entertainment, another story that is.

TIB: Well I know you’re busy, so here’s my last question. The last two Star Wars movies weren’t very good. Is the last movie any good?

Yoda: Last two movies, my fault it was not. Puppet I am. Act better than Hayden Christensen in first two movies I did. Besides, watch it you will anyway, because last Star Wars movie it is.

TIB: True. Well Yoda, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to visit with us.

Yoda: Welcome, you are.

Item: Star Wars Cereal
Purchase Price: $2.97
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasted like Lucky Charms. Puzzles on the back of box were easy. Limited edition cereal. It may be worth more than retail price someday.
Cons: Yoda and Darth Vader marshmallows don’t look like them. Hayden Christensen’s acting in the first two Star Wars prequels. Revenge of the Sith is the last Star Wars movie.

26 thoughts to “REVIEW: Kellogg’s Star Wars Cereal”

  1. nat – Ever since eBay started, it has been proven that people will buy ANYTHING. A grilled cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary, a professional baseball player’s used chewing gum, and even 5-year old boxes of cereal. Heck, if they weren’t so expensive, I’d buy an unopened bottle of Crystal Pepsi on eBay.

    Megan – This is what I do. I have one healthy cereal and one sugarbomb cereal. Usually the healthy one is Raisin Bran. I just rotate between the two. One day eat the healthy cereal and then the next day eat the sugarbomb cereal.

    lakitu – Wedding was good. I cried a lot like a little baby. There was lots of vodka consumption and I had to drink beer. I’m not much of a beer drinker, but sort of enjoyed it while drinking it over the weekend with a view of the beach. Watched two of the bridesmaids jump into the pool with their bridesmaids dresses still on. Saw some old friends. Made some new friends. Decided that I’m never going to serenade my bride at the wedding reception with the the Adam Sandler Wedding Singer song, “Grow Old With You” because it been done waay too many times. I have an English degree, I’m going to write my own song, dammit! Found out my dad has a wireless network set up back at home, which was sweet. Everything on the Big Island closes too damn early. Ran into ex-girlfriend’s brother, who was the wedding’s videographer. Learned from the wedding photographer that sticking one hand in my pocket with my thumb out and my tie over my shoulder makes me look GQ-ish. Oh, speaking of ties, I wore one for the fourth time. I only own one tie. Spent some time with the parents. Overall, it was a good weekend.

    rfduck – Meme, I have done. Varies musical tastes.

    Chenu – Thanks and congratulations again!

    ~Moi~ – So you read the archive? You should’ve let me know, because only one in fifty reviews are any good.

  2. Wow, I am SO SICK of Star Wars and it hasn’t even opened yet! Your review is waaaay more entertaining than the movie will be. 😉

  3. ~Moi~ – So can I have Zach Braff play me or do I get to play me?

    Nyfeh – Thanks for the compliment. I guess you’re not a big fan of marshmallows.

    Lorien – I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I do think the review was more entertaining than Episode I.

  4. You play you! Thats the fun of it…. the at the end there can be this big scandel because you used an actual marriage ceremony thing, and now you’re really married to the actress person….

  5. ~Moi~ – I’m not a very photogenic person. There’s a reason why my picture isn’t found on this blog. In person, I’m homely. On camera, I’m Nick Nolte overdose mugshot ugly.

    rfduck – Thank you. Yeah, a few other readers let me know about it. It’s pretty nice to be picked and I’ve got a few new readers now.

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