REVIEW: Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka

Sure, drinking alone is one of the signs of alcoholism, but drinking alone while playing a drinking game that involves watching an episode of Knight Rider is just good ol’ fashioned fun.

(Editor’s Note: For those of you too young to know what Knight Rider is, go read about it here or go purchase a few episodes here. For those of you too lazy to do either, Knight Rider was what started David Hasselhoff’s rise to German superstardom, solidified a place for him in VH1’s I Love the 80s, and it was “A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law.”)

To play the Knight Rider drinking game, I needed two things, an episode of Knight Rider and alcohol. Fortunately, the iTunes Music Store sells episodes from the first season of Knight Rider and I had a bottle of Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka.

Now the vodka would’ve gone great with some chocolate or coffee liqueur, but I didn’t have any. Heck, I didn’t even have any Yoo-Hoo or Nesquik chocolate powder. Instead, by popular demand, I decided to mix the vodka with most of the beverages from the last product election.

The rules I made up for the Knight Rider drinking game were simple.

Every time K.I.T.T.’s front red scanner light is shown, I would have to take a straight shot of Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka. Unfortunately, it had a very slight vanilla scent and tasted like cough syrup. However, it was pretty smooth compared with other vodka I’ve had.

Every time K.I.T.T.’s license plate, which says “KNIGHT,” is shown, I would have to take a shot of Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka mixed with Island Fruit 7-Up Plus, which I decided to name F-Up Plus.

The Island Fruit 7-Up Plus didn’t add any fruity flavor to the vodka, because the vodka’s flavor easily overpowered the weak 7-Up Plus, much like how any woman could make me whipped.

Every time K.I.T.T. uses turbo boost, I would have to take a shot of Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka mixed with Mountain Dew MDX, which I called Vodka Dew, or V.D. for short. The citrus flavor was noticeable in this concoction and was probably the best tasting of them all.

Finally, if any part of David Hasselhoff’s hairy chest is shown, I would have to take a shot of Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka mixed with Odwalla Superfood, which I named Hoff’s Hairy Chest, because if you look at the picture on the left, mixing the two creates a fuzzy concoction, much like Hasselhoff’s chest.

Shooting it felt like a fuzzy Hasselhoff hairball going down my throat, except probably a little sweeter, but still disgusting.

Unfortunately, the game ended really quick because each one of these things happened in the first 10 minutes of the show. Plus, in the first ten minutes of the episode I purchased, Hasselhoff’s hairy chest was shown ten times.

Because of that, I definitely needed to stop, because dying from Hasselhoff’s hairy chest was not the way I would want to go out.

(Editor’s Note: I know. I know. This review was supposed to be done weeks ago, but I’ve learned that it is hard to write while intoxicated, even when trying to channel Ernest Hemmingway’s spirit. To make up for it, go wax David Hasselhoff’s chest here.)

Item: Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka
Purchase Price: $19.99 (750 ml)
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Smooth. Would probably go well with chocolate or coffee liqueur, which I didn’t have. The convenience of purchasing Knight Rider episodes from the iTunes Music Store.
Cons: Tastes like cough syrup. Disappointing for a Grey Goose vodka. The fuzziness of mixing it with Odwalla Superfood. The episode of Knight Rider I chose showed David Hasselhoff’s hairy chest WAAAY too many times. Dying from Hasselhoff’s hairy chest.

30 thoughts to “REVIEW: Grey Goose La Vanille Vodka”

  1. Hahaha, this has been one of my favorite reviews in awhile. “Shooting it felt like a fuzzy Hasselhoff hairball going down my throat, except probably a little sweeter, but still disgusting.”

  2. Haha!! Wax on, wax Hoff. Kudos on getting down shots of Hoff’s Hairy Chest – I’m gagging just looking at the picture. It looks like dirty pond water they make you collect for a high school biology experiment. *gag* Great review!

  3. the super food with vodka makes me want to vomit. and i havent had any alcohol since new years. *shivers* the idea of chunks in your drink going down makes me think it would most certainly come back up….

  4. Hmm, what the H is superfood? Either way, I get a gagging sensation everytime I look at that shot or think of D. Hoff’s chest. The V.D. is pretty though, like a lovely gemstone.

  5. I could just see that on the autopsy report…”Death by Hasselhoff’s Hairy Chest.” Definitely a painful way to go. Anyways, glad you survived the Knight Rider episode and didn’t throw up. If you had been watching the new Dukes Of Hazard movie, you probably would have gotten sick several times.

  6. omg, if you seriously drank even one of those hairy green things, you are a brave soul! Is that…curdled??? ack! but you’re even more brave for suffering through an episode of Knight Rider….

    I remember something they did on some show – a vodka taste test – and Grey Goose scored lowest….lol and they’re the most expensive!!

  7. This is the Marvo we know and love. Doing disgusting this to amuse people you don’t know. Now if you had incorporated sex into this somehow, it’d have been perfect.

  8. Wow, this review was so worth the wait! I love the photo. I am impressed by your superhuman ability to down even one of Hoff Hairy Chest. It’s amazing what you put yourself through, for your readers’ sakes. Very touching.

  9. ok i was crushed when the popular vote led to a review of this product over other candidates that seemed far more worthy of your time, your attention, your mojo. but as always, you are up to the task. not only did you skillfully incorporate some of the runners-up (but yo, where tha hell’s that weirdo water?), you spun it into an entry that is pure 14K gold. i bow to you!

  10. I think this should be a CON not a PRO- The convenience of purchasing Knight Rider episodes from the iTunes Music Store. It shouldn’t be that easy to gain access to bad tv shows.

  11. The vanilla Gray Goose is definitely the worst of the bunch – It DOES taste like cough syrup! Thank you, I’m not alone in thinking that, anymore.
    Try the orange stuff. Or even the plain ol’ vodka. So much better.

  12. Somehow I had a premonition that the vodka would win the poll… because of course people would want to see a liquored-up Marvo review knowing you would do something like the Kitt game (p.s. the intro music roks). But I actually thought you might dip various body parts into the vodka one by one for a refreshing cooling effect… I must agree about the vanilla vodka though, it sorta tastes like glurgh.

  13. i wanted to puke just thinking of drinking a hairy chest. then again, if it was david duchovny’s hairy chest, i would be all over that.

  14. Lou – I would think a Hasselhoff hairball would taste salty after all those years on Baywatch.

    Jessica – Mmm…Algae.

    megan – As I read your comment, for some reason, the only thing that comes to mind is taking a shot filled with small tadpoles. Blech!

    Mir – Or Nick Nolte.

    Lizzy – Odwalla Superfood juice made up of micro-greens and fruit. It has the texture of sludge and is full of open cell chlorella and spirulina. It was kind of gross at first, but I grew to enjoy Superfood.

    Chuck – Thank goodness I didn’t see the Dukes of Hazzard movie, it would’ve totally ruined my image of Jessica Simpson. Oh wait, the show Newlyweds did that for me.

    random – Eh, naming mixed drinks is as easy as naming rock or alternative bands. Easy Slope. Right there, I came up with a new name for a band, right off the top of my head.

    Webmiztris – I’ve had regular Grey Goose vodka and it’s pretty good stuff, but it is quite expensive. I think I might have to give this bottle away to one of the panhandler on my street.

  15. ga girl – I probably could’ve incorporated sex, but I wouldn’t want everyone to think I’m some kind of pervert. What? Everyone already thinks I’m a pervert. Great…

    Amber LB – Despite downing a Hoff’s Hairy Chest, I still don’t know what’s worse, Hoff’s Hairy Chest or Hoff’s hairy chest.

    TG – Let me tell you, that Oxygen Water is hard to find, but it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference if I mixed it with the vodka. But I probably would’ve called it Vodkah 20. Get it? Vodka + h20. I’m so lame.

    Sasha_Kitty – It is a cheesy show, but I have fond memories of watching every episode growing up. It could’ve been worse, I could’ve purchased episodes of the A-Team.

    Sarah – Yes, the plain Grey Goose is so much better. I think I will try the orange stuff one of these days, get totally hammered, and possibly run naked down my street.

    Lucy – My mixed drinks are like goulash, just throw in whatever is around and hope it tastes good.

    Bryan – Dipping body parts into the vodka…I’ll be back.

    dramastically – Yeah, you would be all over David Duchovny like Kate Moss on an Eight Ball.

    Gia on Guam – When I sober strip, it’s fun and slightly erotic. However, when I drunk strip, it’s pathetic, involves lots of falling down, and no clothes come off.

  16. You know what could have made all of those shots better!!! Actually doing them off of Davis Hasselhoff’s hairy chest while he was singing Wir Zwei Allein.

  17. Dude, you really ARE a brave, brave man. That Superfood concoction looks absolutely disgusting.

    BTW, thanks for the link to wax on wax Hoff. That was disturbing but fun. One of these days, I’m going to put up on my blog the unholy and terrifying ANIMATED! GIF of “Infinite Hasselhoff”.

  18. ga girl – Hey, there’s no way I would diss Mr. T. He could crush me…with his gold chains.

    Damasta – Green seafood…I think that any seafood that’s green is bad seafood. Kudos to you for chowing it down, because I wouldn’t, not only because it’s green, but also because I pass out when I eat shellfish. I like to consider it my personal natural roofie.

    Nicki – If David Hasselhoff is singing, I’m going to need a lot more than liquor to numb the pain.

    Toni – What’s even more disturbing? Waxo the Marvo.

  19. Karen – OH MY GOD!!! Thanks to that video, I see it now. I see the reason why Germans like David Hasselhoff. It’s because of his ability to dance and to do really bad cover versions of songs.

  20. Marvo awesome review! I don’t know how you did it Vanilla Vodka makes me hurl. There is a strawberry vodka out the somewhere, I had it on the strip in Vegas and it totally rocks. You should try it. Thanks for the laughs!

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