Online Dating Product Review Poll!!! Yes, You Read Right!!!

My mom always tells me that I should hang out at bookstores to meet a nice, smart girl, but I haven’t had any luck, probably because I hang out in the Sex & Relationships section a little too long.

Now some of you are probably saying, “Why not meet someone at a bar or club?”

I’m a busy person and I don’t have time to hang out at the bar until three in the morning waiting for a woman drunk enough to say yes to a date.

So I am pretty much left with the internet. Fortunately, there are many people out there using the internet as a way to get a date. It’s as common as YouTube videos of dudes being hit in the cojones with a wide variety of items. There are many dating websites out there, so I thought I would narrow the choices down to three and let you guys determine which one I’ll sign up for in a new product review poll.

Here are the three dating websites you will be able to vote for:

1. ($30.00 per month)

2. ($20 per month)

3. Yahoo Personals ($25 per month)

As you can see, they all cost a bit of money to join, so I thought about adding the free Honolulu Craigslist personals with the choices, but I’m afraid that because it’s free, I will end up with someone who either has a penis or wants to steal a kidney from me and trade it on the black market for a Nintendo Wii.

The dating website with the most votes will be declared the winner. The winner will be reviewed and the other dating websites will not be getting my money and the women who are on those other dating websites will not be getting my heart. To vote, just leave a comment for this post with your choice. Only one choice and vote per person — especially you Calvin.

Current results (as of 10:00 pm 2/11): 32 43
Yahoo Personals: 2

Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

I’ll be accepting votes until Valentine’s Day, Wednesday, February 14th (11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time). Since the product is something that takes awhile to test, don’t expect a review here on TIB for several months, but take consolation in the fact that you might be responsible for possibly helping me either find true love or a crazy psycho bitch who will make me play with her fifteen cats with names like Socks, Mr. Twinkle Toes, Buttons, Fluffy, Meow Meow, Twitchy, Stimpy, Gingersnap, Kitty Poo, Tootles, Hairball, Mandrake, Fantasia, Patchy, and Fuzzbutt.

Now go vote like your friend is running for student body president, because you don’t want either the head cheerleader or the captain of the football team to win, since they’re both self-centered snobs.

93 thoughts to “Online Dating Product Review Poll!!! Yes, You Read Right!!!”

  1. Gee, I’m disappointed you didn’t choose a fetish dating site as one of the choices, Marvo…like or something. However, out of the three choices, I will vote for since it’s the least expensive.

  2. Just to let you know that I am pretty sure eHarmony caters mainly to Christian-with-a-capital-C people — which may or may not appeal to you. What about the personals? Very bright group there. Good luck!

  3. I’ve heard eHarmony works for a lot of people, but I’m voting for Match since it’s cheaper and still seems to be a good site. Plus, I think that’s the one with the 6-month guarantee.

  4. i was going to mention jdate too….
    i was going to say yahoo personals as the other two have ads bother me but i do hate yahoo for making me change my flickr account to a yahoo account…
    so i guess….

  5. Sure would like that Nintendo Wii…how about

    OH, BTW, eHarmony is promoted by Jebus on Christian radio stations. It’s got that angle–not that there’s anything wrong with that, but there should be a disclaimer or something to state that it’s run by and for Christians and homos need not apply.

  6. Match. Met my finance there. Some crazies for sure, but they’re pretty easy to weed out.
    My advice is to have a phone conversation before meeting in person…you can tell a lot from a phone call.

  7. eHarmony.

    It seems to have a lower ratio of certifiable whackos than the others.

    But what do I know? I met my soon-to-be-ex when we thought we were cutting edge because we both had 1200 baud modems.

    I’ll give you some advice, though. If your date says they have a collection of ASCII-character porn, run. Fast.

  8. As much fun as I would have watching you discover how much eHarmony sucks, my guess is that you’re unlikely to find a lot of Hawaiians on it (and they really push you to widen your geographic search, which might work in Massachusetts, but is more problematic in the middle of the Pacific). And I met a man who subsequently stalked me on Yahoo! Personals, so I’m going to vote for Match. 😉

  9. I would vote for eHarmony, of the choices you listed, because it is catered for more serious daters – watch out for the longest questionnaire ever! If you can, you should see which of the sites has the most Hawaiians who are in the right demographics for you.

    In other comments, stay away from Craigslist – it attracts kind of a niche sort of people and you’re way too cool for that. =) And some people have profiles everywhere (but perhaps not a paid subscription everywhere). I met my guy at, an all-free (and not shady) dating site that started in Vancouver. It may by now have a big following in Hawaii. =)

    (Looking forward to hearing about the lucky women who get to email/meet you.)

  10. i just read an article in jane magazine or something and it took the chick a full week to fill out her profile plus on eharmony you dont get to choose your date they do it for you based on your profiles

  11. Match. eHarmony is too structured, and if you’re like me, you’ll end up with 0 matches in the entire world. eHarmony can shove it as far as I’m concerned.

    I’ve done Match before and I’d like to know if the women are as crazy as the men are. Plus, they have that so-called “guarantee”. I would go for that, but a month at a time on there is about all I can take.

  12. I vote eHarmony, because the chicks there are more serious there… and they seem to have less experience “dating,” if you know what I mean…

    Of course, if you’re stuck on a rock in the middle of the ocean, don’t you just see the same 10-12 women anyways?

  13. Match .com all the way. Tried Yahoo. I admit that I have strange tastes but, keeerist the people I met were all ecsaped mental patients.

  14. is my vote.
    I used it. I went on about 5 lunch dates as a result (short time frame, daylight, less pressure). No “love” was found, but I enjoyed some interesting conversation with some nice men.

    I also signed up for eHarmony, but I didn’t want to pay for it due to the cost, and it asked me tons of questions. I didn’t like how restrictive it was.

  15. Oh and I did do Yahoo Personals too (I was eager to meet people) and it was alot like Match. No dates from that though.

  16. Add me to those who are protesting eHarmony — didn’t Salon or someone do an article on them and their anti-gay policy? Don’t support them, Marvo! Otherwise I don’t know, sorry to say. Whatever’s cheapest, I guess, or the excellent suggestion above about trying the Salon personals. Good luck!

  17. I’m voting eHarmony, mainly because I’m anti people who are anti something, which probably means I should be anti myself, which means I should probably be voting for something else? WHAT?!? I think I just confused me!

  18. I’ll vote because it’ll ignite your passion!! *cough cough* Also besides the lame pun, things that start with e for electronic besides email are just kinda sad…

  19. I vote for eHarmony because I want to see what its 29 tests for compatibility are without shelling out the $50 or whatever it takes for me to find out personally.

  20. Although my boyfriend’s friend met his wife on, I’d say go for, because it’s the cheapest. Be careful though. We don’t want you meeting some psychopath and getting chopped up or anything.

    Incidentally, I am proud that I did not name my cat ANY of those godawful names!

  21. match. definitely match.

    eharmony makes you jump through all these hoops and they determine who you match with giving you less control.

  22. Eharmony, b/c you get the bonus IQ test, so even if you don’t get laid, you can boost your self-esteem by letting others know precisely how much smarter you are than them!!

  23. eHarmony has better commercials and is more expensive. It isn’t my money. If it was my money, I would use Craigslist because I ma cheap.

    You could just call 1-900-GIRLZ-4-U. If you just use it for a couple of minutes a day, $3.95/min is much cheaper than $30/month.


    That EHarmony guy seems way too shady for me. That and they seem to only set with people of your own race…which could be okay, but where’s the sense of variety?

  25. eHarmony. And if this allows you to meet the woman of your dreams you owe us big time. If not, I’m sure this blog is a hit with the ladies. Big time.

  26. I’m with the folks. Though once you become a pimp and send off your ladies to try the other kinds later.

  27. My vote is – it’s the cheapest and besides – I think eHarmony is a fraud – they keep saying that there are 0 people compatible with me in the whole world. As if there’s no one that could be interested in an overeducated, underpaid, sarcastic, obnoxious girl with a tiny (well, ok, huge) misanthropic problem – I’m not buying it. I mean seriously – how can that be, I have such a great personality.

  28. I’d have to vote for because eHarmony does not like homosexuals. Seriously…they won’t allow you to select male looking for male nor female looking for female! But hey Marv-o…I’m on…maybe I’ll look you up. HA! 😉

  29. Clevegal42: that is what happened to rivers cuomo from weezer …
    he did end up going celibate for 2.5 years after that….


    eharmony is a lil’ nuts, and my mother once found a “serious” religious nutjob on there

  31. Hmm. I’ll cast my vote for Although I admit it would be entertaining to see what you make of eharmony, it seems like it’s not the sort of site I would want to support.

  32. Lord Jezo’s friend had a lot of success with :O he met this really pretty (non psycho) girl. :O

    Good luck!

  33. I’ll throw my eHarmony hat in the ring. My friend just married her eHarmony match and they are scary compatible. As an aside, you should also check out because the profiles are usually pretty entertaining. And by ‘entertaining’, I don’t mean to imply that I read them just for laughs. No, that would be wrong. I’d never do that.

  34. definitely eHarmony. The fact that it takes itself so seriously as being able to determine two perfect matches based on 20 multiple choice questions, I believe, will make for better humor fodder than the other options.

    eHarmony takes FOREVER- the process of actually getting to know someone is tedious, and in the end, will suck you of your will to actually want to meet someone at all, and make you question why you are even bothering.

    With Match, you can see pics right away, and weed out the undesireables. Definitely phone call first (*although I had a phone call first with my last date, and thought “how odd, his cell phone must be cutting out, because it’s really hard to understand someone when you can only hear half a word in every sentence. Come to find out, he had a major stutter/delay issue. Lesson Learned– FIND OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN FIRST!)

    Go and date, Marvo! Go and Date!

  36. Current results (as of 4:00 pm 2/7): 24 31
    Yahoo Personals: 0

    Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

  37. I’d go with I’ve heard EHarmony is too marriage-oriented, and not everyone is looking for that right now. Besides, that weird old guy who founded EHarmony makes me nervous.

  38. eHarmony seems the most bang for your buck (God, that sounds like such a bad pun for a dating site). It may take forever to take the test, but its worth it to make the chances of meeting an absolute psycho just that much slimmer. And, yeah, I’d like to read the review too. Best of luck!

  39. eharmony.

    And my roommate dated some people from Craig’s list. Let’s just say it probably wasn’t the smartest thing she ever did…

  40. I say you try eHarmony. I think they might have a coupon code or two online so you can get a free month or something. Good Luck.

  41. I vote for because eharmony scares me. They have those creepy-ass ads. I don’t know which is best, because I met my husband at work, though I did try some yahoo personals before I got hitched and had some weird dates. Which is why I’m not voting for yahoo personals. One guy went to dinner with me and then emailed me the next day saying he told all his friends about me and they all wanted to meet me…. I never emailed him back. That was too creepy.

  42. Current results (as of 7:00 pm 2/8): 29 36
    Yahoo Personals: 0

    Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

  43. Match, of the ones you listed. I actually met my wife at (in the chat rooms, we never actually traded profiles that I recall 🙂

    On the other hand, I’d think that is clearly the best choice…..

  44. I’d like to see you review I think you will have a better result, and I will be able to have a second opinion of it. I tried, and it was overpriced and mostly useless. For all of those questions they ask you, it is quite obvious that they only match you up based on color, age, and proximity.

  45. I vote for Only because it’s the cheapest, and from what I hear, it’s the best. Plus, eharmony’s commercials make me want to throw something at Neil Clark Warren’s head. Do you really want to make that guy richer?

  46. Current results (as of 2:00 pm 2/10): 32 39
    Yahoo Personals: 1

    Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

  47. match match match. avoid e-harmony like the plague, since that is exactly what it is. the plague. yes i said it, eharmony = the plague.

  48. I joined on a total whim (clicked on a banner that was on MySpace because I was bored one day) and was on it for like, four days. I met my boyfriend (who is totally hot and awesome and black from the waist down *wink*) during this short period. I had to quit because there were too many responses, seriously, it was giving me a headache. I think Match is the way to go because more people are on there thanks to their marketing on MySpace among other places. Good luck.

  49. Current results (as of 10:00 pm 2/11): 32 43
    Yahoo Personals: 2

    Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

  50. Eharmony. My brother met his girlfriend there just this past April and they’re getting along well. I know of 2 other couples who have gotten married after meeting on Eharmony. I know of 2 couples who have gotten DIVORCED after meeting on Match. Match is cheaper but it seems it’s sometimes people looking for casual dates… unless that’s what you’re looking for. Eharmony seems more serious because they’re focusing on long term, and maybe that’s why it comes across a little creepy. But yes, those commercials make me want to gag too.

  51. I’m de-lurking to vote for! I met my fiance there. Also, E-Harmony did not work out for me or my sister- I think Match has more people 🙂

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