REVIEW: Revolution 3D Tea

Coffee and tea are very much alike. Both need to be roasted to get their flavor, both come in caffeinated and decaffeinated forms, and both are spelled with unnecessary letters, that if removed, wouldn’t affect their pronunciations. Cofe or T, anyone? If I had to choose between a racist tea party with Amy Winehouse or a coffee-fueled marathon of The Hills, I would have to choose the racial slur slinging and tea sipping festivities with Ms. Winehouse and hope that no stray needle hits me or her eyelashes don’t devour me like a Venus Flytrap. I would choose the tea party because I really enjoy tea in any situation and because watching several episodes of The Hills would cause my IQ to drop by about 50 points.

Recently, I’ve been enjoying the new Revolution 3D Teas because I like my tea just the way I like my Fruity Pebbles — cold, fruity and sweet. The canned beverage comes in four flavors: blueberry, mango, pomegranate and green apple. According to Revolution Tea, it’s a “Multi Dimensional Beverage” because it contains a super fruit, multiple vitamins, white tea, yadda, yadda, yadda. All of that is nice, but I’ve been staring at these Revolution 3D cans for hours and have yet to see the image of a sailboat or anything else pop out at me.

Each Revolution 3D Tea had a perfectly balanced taste. Its sweetness was just right, each flavor had a slight tartness, the fruit didn’t overpower the flavor of the tea and the tea didn’t overpower the flavor of the fruit. I really enjoyed all the flavors, but the mango and pomegranate were my favorites. What I also really enjoyed about this product are the sweet, sweet antioxidants from the white tea and super fruits, although each only contained 2% juice, so I’m not too sure how much the super fruits contributed to its antioxidant content. All that I hope for is that it’s enough to protect me if I were to get hit by one of Ms. Winehouse’s flying heroin needles.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 16 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 20% vitamin B3, 20% vitamin B6, 20% vitamin B12, 20% vitamin B5, and 3D.)

Item: Revolution 3D Tea
Price: FREE (12 ounces)
Purchased at: Sent by Revolution Tea people
Rating: 8 out of 10 (mango)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (pomegranate)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (green apple)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (blueberry)
Pros: Well balanced flavor. Sweetness was just right. All flavors were really good. Slight tartness. Use of pure cane sugar. No High Fructose Corn Syrup. Antioxidants, but I’m not too sure how much. Fruity Pebbles.
Cons: Contains only 2% juice. Can’t see 3D images on can. Getting hit by a Winehouse heroin needle. Watching a marathon of The Hills.

19 thoughts to “REVIEW: Revolution 3D Tea”

  1. Anything related to Amy Wino evokes nightmares to me. I would go with the coffee just because (1) I dont want to have to beat a Bee down for saying something racist and (2) she looks like her aura stinks. I vote for coffee for those reasons…but cant i have it both ways. The can looks cool enough to drink with Lauren and Audrina…

  2. I think it’s funny that the nutrition facts are listed for an “8 oz” serving, but the product comes in 12 oz cans. Seriously?? Are you supposed to share the last 1/3 with a midget or something?

  3. I watched three episodes of the Hills and I totally felt my IQ drop. Why don’t people go live their own lives instead of fonding over The Hills artificial lives.

    The apple tea looks interesting I love the design of those cans.

  4. angry bob doesn’t know anything about this Winehouse or the Hill thing, but he does know that when you grind tea leaves between your teeth, it produces a strange sensation in the back of your head. Pomegranates – not so much.

    Also, angry bob hasn’t checked, but he doesn’t imagine you can read the leaves at the bottom of the can.

    Finally, angry bob strongly suspects that label constitutes blatant misuse of the registered trademark symbol. Lawyers have been dispatched.

  5. I think you should review some two dimensional tea next, just for a change of pace. Might be hard to drink it, though.

  6. Lovely…multi-dimensional fruity teas for the multi-dimensional heterosexual (or metrosexual) on the go.

    Personally, my current favorite fruity tea in the world would have to be Jone’s Red Peach tea. But I also love chai and thai teas, as well as regular teas. Arizona also makes a surprisingly good tea that they sell as “Black and White”, which has a nice natural sweetness to it and a much cleaner finish than their standard teas (except for southern sweetened teas).

  7. They sound good Marvo, but do they have that nasty high fructose corn syrup in them? If so.. deal is off for me.
    I bet they will cost about 2 bucks too.
    *sigh* one day a non- corn syrup, reasonably priced new beverage.. I eagerly await it.

  8. …But what’s it retail for? I’m genuinely interested in trying it now!

  9. I wonder if you mixed the pomegranate tea & the blueberry ones together would they rank higher? I might try it if I ever see those here.

  10. Kylie – Come on. You need variety in life. You can drink coffee and Guinness ALL the time?

    ChrisP – They’re very new. I know you can buy some from their website and I’ve seen their products at natural food stores.

    Erica – Don’t you mean the can looks cool enough to beat Lauren and Audrina.

    dramastically – Hey…remember, Lincoln was a Republican.

    ChrisP – It’s a ploy to get you to buy more of it. If you buy three more can and put the leftover ounces together, you get a whole new can.

    K.C. – I also like the design of the can — clean.

    angry bob – You need to watch a little more entertainment news…or maybe you not knowing about Winehouse and The Hills is a good thing. You wouldn’t be angry bob, you’d be fucking furious bob.

    Chuck – Maybe if I can find a way to get into Springfield or Quahog, it could be possible.

  11. Reprobate – I’ve been wanting to try the Jones Teas, but I can’t find them here.

    bikerbabeee – No high fructose corn syrup. Just cane sugar and agave syrup. I think they retail for $2.

    atastysammich – I think they retail for $1.99. You can buy some from their website.

    luckinflux – You know she totally would.

    liz – It is a winner. If I had a blue ribbon, I would give it one.

    Aimee – No, no, no. You don’t want to mix pomegranate and blueberry together, because putting those two together would cause worlds to collide.

    Alisha – If there’s still tea in the can, it would be a waste of tea.

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