REVIEW: Liquid Death Pop-Tarts Carnage Iced Tea

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Liquid Death Pop-Tarts Carnage Iced Tea cans

Liquid Death Pop-Tarts Carnage Iced Tea made me giggle.

No, it wasn’t from the silly name that got me imagining what would happen if a naughty doggo got into a Costco-size box of Pop-Tarts. Nor did it happen because I sometimes imagine Christopher Walken dressed up as a Pop-Tart yelling, “Crazy good!”

What made me giggle after my first sip was how Liquid Death managed to capture the essence of toaster pastry crust and add it to an iced tea. That’s some liquid magic there, and whatever the highest award for flavor-making is, which I assume is called The Tastees, the person who developed that crust flavor deserves one, not only for creating it, but for tasting all the rejects that came before it.

Liquid Death Pop-Tarts Carnage Iced Tea in a glass with its red color

The beverage smells like a strawberry soda, and the initial taste is strawberry, but after a few moments, the crust comes through and lingers a bit. This doesn’t taste exactly like a Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tart. Its berry flavor is a candy-fied version of the red toaster pastry filling, and the pastry dough taste is a bit more distinctive than the bland crust of an actual Pop-Tart. There’s no sweetness or butteriness to enhance things; it’s just bland Pop-Tarts crust, but I guess an enhanced blandness is the best way to describe it. But that crust flavor is what convinces me that this is a toaster pastry-flavored iced tea, and this wouldn’t have been nearly as exciting without it.

But do I actually consider it to be, as the Pop-Tarts-dressed Christopher Walken in my head would say, “crazy good”? It’s crazy creative, but it’s just good to my taste buds. I’ll have no problem drinking all 12 cans I had to buy. However, I can taste how that crust flavor is going to be divisive and an instant nope for some folks. I liked it best when it was super chilled, straight out of the fridge. But as it crept toward room temperature, the crust’s taste made things less enjoyable.

The crazy scary skull thingies on the can. Sorry if it gives you nightmares

I’ve gone through four cans already, and every time I take a chilled sip, I can’t help but smile at what I’m tasting. So if you’re okay with the mild flavor profile of Liquid Death products and think an iced tea inspired by toaster pastries sounds like a novel idea, Pop-Tarts Carnage Iced Tea might make you giggle, too.

Purchased Price: $16.99
Size: 12 fl oz cans/12 pack
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 20 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 43 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Sprite + Tea

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I gave myself a hard facepalm after learning about Sprite + Tea.

The half-lemonade, half-tea Arnold Palmer has been around for so long that it only makes sense to combine a lemon-lime soda with tea. I’m surprised Sprite, 7UP, or The Soda Formerly Known As Sierra Mist didn’t come up with this idea sooner. To come up with the beverage, Sprite thought outside of the 12-pack box, or watched a lot of TikTok and got the idea from a 2023 TikTok trend that involved putting two Lipton tea bags into a bottle of Sprite.

Initially, I was surprised that this wasn’t a brand collaboration with Coca-Cola’s Gold Peak Tea. However, after reading the ingredients and discovering that tea wasn’t listed but falls under the “natural flavors” category, I realized it might hurt the tea brand if it didn’t contain actual Gold Peak Tea. But the synergy would have been sweet.

However, it wouldn’t have been as sweet as Sprite + Tea.

To borrow from another tea brand, I must say it’s brisk, baby. It tastes like I’ve made Lipton lemon iced tea with a powder mix, but added a little more water than what the instructions say, resulting in slightly weaker flavors than a tea drink made from a mix. So I guess if you’ve wanted carbonated Lipton Brisk Iced Tea, Sprite + Tea will give you what you want.

But its stronger-than-the-soda tea flavor is probably a problem for those wanting Sprite’s crisp citrus taste. The tea-to-soda ratio leans so heavily toward the former that if it didn’t come in a bottle with Sprite on its label, it would be hard to believe there’s Sprite in it. Maybe it needs to take a Nestea Plunge into a pool of Sprite to balance the flavors better. (What? Going too far back into iced tea commercial history? Kids, ask your parents about the Nestea Plunge. Or, better yet, YouTube.) Or maybe Sprite Lymonade + Tea would’ve highlighted the lemon-lime more prominently.

While I like the Sprite in you, Sprite + Tea, I’d like more of it. However, mainly tasting like lemon iced tea is not a reason to avoid it. It’s tasty, sweet, and refreshing, which is the perfect combination for a summer beverage.

Purchased Price: $2.59
Size: 20 oz bottle (also available in 12 oz cans)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 230 calories, 0 grams of fat, 95 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 61 grams of sugar (including 61 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Pure Leaf Tea House Collection Organic Green Tea with a Hint of Fuji Apple & Ginger

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Pure Leaf’s Tea House Collection Organic Green Tea with a Hint of Fuji Apple & Ginger has an aroma that makes me think the ginger is going to burn and a name that’s so long it makes me parched.

But thankfully the ginger was mild enough that it didn’t burn and I could take a sip of the tea that made my mouth dry after saying its name.

The ginger flavor is front and center with every sip. The apple gets lost with the ginger, but it does seem to give the tea a sweetness. Perhaps the apple is there to tone down the ginger, which itself isn’t potent flavor wise. All I could think of while gulping it down after every time I said Pure Leaf’s Tea House Collection Organic Green Tea with a Hint of Fuji Apple & Ginger was how it just tastes like a sweetened ginger green tea.

I’m disappointed the apple doesn’t stand out, but it’s still a tasty and refreshing tea. Although, maybe after saying its full name, any liquid would be refreshing to my mouth.

Purchased Price: $2.59
Size: 14 fl oz.
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Lipton Natural Energy Premium Black Tea

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Lipton Natural Energy Premium Black Tea

Purchased Price: FREE*
Size: 40 tea bags
Purchased at: Given to us by Lipton
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: 75 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per cup, which is 20 milligrams more than regular Lipton black tea and the ONLY thing that gets me excited about this tea. When it cools down a little, it makes a wonderful hand warmer while in a mug. Rainforest Alliance Certified. Drinking tea with your pinky sticking out.
Cons: Tastes like any ol’ black tea. There are tastier ways to get caffeine. Not sure if has flavonoids (if it did, wouldn’t Lipton want to let everyone know?). Not as aromatic as regular Lipton black tea. Microwaving Red Bull to have a warm pick-me-up.

Lipton Natural Energy Premium Black Tea Closeup

*Thanks to the folks at Lipton for sending me two boxes of Lipton Natural Energy Premium Black Tea to keep me caffeinated for a while.

Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Nestea Half Lemonade Half Iced Tea Liquid Water Enhancer

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Nestea Half Lemonade Half Iced Tea Liquid Water Enhancer

Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 1.76 fl oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Drinkable, but I’d rather get myself an Arizona Arnold Palmer Half & Half. No sugar. No calories. Made from real tea leaves. 26 eight-ounce servings per bottle. Being mesmerized by the liquid water enhancer being shot into a glass of water.
Cons: Lemonade and iced tea flavors are too mild. I wouldn’t call it a lemonade flavor, it’s more like lemon juice. Not for those who hate propylene glycol. No caffeine. Unlike MiO which disperses easily without stirring, this needs a spoon, finger, or whatever you have handy as a stirrer.

Nutrition Facts: about 1/2 tsp. – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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