REVIEW: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)

Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)

Coffee is probably one of the original gangstas of energy drinks, so the idea of adding an energy drink to coffee seems unnecessary, like a bra on an Olsen twin. But companies who like to energize the masses and make money doing so think this fusion is necessary and have created coffee energy drinks to make the beverage of choice for tired office workers everywhere in their cubicles of shame a little more extreme.

Monster Energy was the first to do it, Rockstar Energy was next to do it, Starbucks recently came out with theirs, and now Full Throttle Energy Drink has their own coffee energy drink with the uninspired name of Full Throttle Coffee.

Next up for the Full Throttle Energy Drink? Following others into a volcano.

Full Throttle Coffee comes in three flavors: Mocha, Vanilla, and Caramel. I’ve pretty much enjoyed every single coffee energy drink I’ve tried, including these from Full Throttle. However, these are definitely sweeter and creamier than the coffee energy drinks from the other companies. But I guess when each can has 43-48 grams of sugar and has cream in its ingredients list, it fucking makes sense.

The chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavors really drown out the coffee taste in their respective drinks, which is good if you don’t like the bitterness of coffee, but bad if you like your coffee to be as bitter as your feeling towards your ex-significant other.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can (varies between flavor) – 250-270 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 370-390 milligrams of sodium, 45-50 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 43-48 grams of sugar, 4-5 grams of protein, 15% calcium, 200% niacin, 200% vitamin B6, 1123-1124 milligrams of taurine, 167-168 milligrams of ginseng extract, 27 milligrams of carnitine, 1.3 milligrams of guarana extract, and 126-131 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.)

Item: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)
Price: $1.99 (15 ounces)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Mocha)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Vanilla)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Caramel)
Pros: Smells and tastes good. No high fructose corn syrup. Creamy. Strong chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavor. Over 100 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Cons: Another coffee energy drink. High fructose corn syrup. Lots of fucking sugar. Sweetness drowns out coffee flavor. Maybe too sweet for some. Uninspired name. Cubicles of shame. Just following other energy drinks.

17 thoughts to “REVIEW: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)”

  1. Sounds tasty, but so much more expensive than just making my own coffee or iced coffee. Still, if I need a quick caffiene/sugar rush, it’s good to know I’ll have plenty of choices when I stop at the convenience store.

  2. The amount of energy drinks is getting a wee bit ridiculous. Can’t people just drink a Monster BFC and be happy?

  3. Coffee+Energy Drink seems a bit unnecessary… I usually just get my energy fix from watching Full House reruns.

  4. *sigh*
    Back to coffee again
    All is good in the world!
    This will be a good day.

    (hey, that’s almost a haiku. A haiku written by someone who can’t count for shit)

  5. “The amount of energy drinks is getting a wee bit ridiculous. Can’t people just drink a Monster BFC and be happy?”

    Nope, can’t. I love those Guava Juiced Rockstars too much.

  6. And yet a new way to commit suicide (or go through a mental breakdown): Drink new Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drinks to really experience the caffeine boost from coffee AND energy drinks combined into one!

  7. On the upside, I see there’s lots of vitamins alongside the corn syrup and saturated fat.

    I’m strangely tempted to try these, and there’s a 7-Eleven just down the street. Hope they don’t raise my adrenaline to ‘getting chased by a grizzly’ levels.

  8. Chuck – There are wayyyyy too many choices now. Although, all those choices are great for quasi-product review blog editors, like myself.

    Lex – Just don’t try all three flavors in one sitting. I will not be responsible for the sugar coma you’ll be in.

    Alisha – I don’t think people who drink a Monster BFC are happy after drinking it, instead I think they turn into a ball of energy that can be put on a properly rigged exercise bike to produce electricity for the masses.

    ChrisP – I totally understand that. Kimmy was totally hot.

    Kylie – You did write a haiku…the devil’s haiku. 6-6-6.

    Amanda – I enjoy those Guava Rockstars, but damn they’re sweet.

    Kcdeath – Why can’t people just stick with the old ways?

    IE – These are better than those mutha ‘uckers.

    Jack B. – Full Throttle Squared, then Full Throttle Cubed, then Full Throttle Infinity, and then Full Throttle Infinity + 1.

    StephanieS – Don’t do it!

  9. There drinks do not contain high fructose corn syrup. They are sweetened with sucrose and also contain lactose which is naturally present in milk. Please get your facts straight if you wish to influence the opinion of others.

  10. Red Icculus – Is Mr. Brimley still alive.

    Chelsea – Wow, you are right. They don’t contain HFCS. Well it looks like the yolks on me and my influence has gone from zero to zero.

  11. Well, it figures…these things are prime for the drinking days and coffee and alcohol are old friends. Why not?
    Anything for a $$$.

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