REVIEW: Post Dino S’mores Pebbles

I think the Post Dino S’mores Pebbles cereal was created by Fred Flintstone so that there’s a Pebbles cereal Barney could steal from Fred that wouldn’t get him upset and yell, “Barney, my Pebbles.” I believe my theory is correct because this cereal is extremely bland and is something Fred wouldn’t care about if it got stolen. It’s like Post took everything that was great about Cocoa Pebbles and instead of sticking it into this cereal, they shoved it down a snaggle-toothed pig garbage disposal. I don’t know why Dino would want his name associated with this product because it’s something that he would either bury in the backyard and forget about or squeeze out as a steaming pile of poop.

I was hoping the marshmallowy boulders, graham bone shapes, and crunchy chocolatey nuggets would create a s’mores flavor that would take me back to my Boy Scout camp days when we would take showers as one big naked group, wear shorts with an inseam that would make Daisy Duke wearers blush, spray enough mosquito repellant on our bodies to ensure future sterilization, and sit around the campfire building the perfect s’more that was made up of one-third of a Hershey’s bar, with one well-done giant marshmallow, and in between two Honey Maid graham crackers. Unfortunately, the three parts of the Dino S’mores Pebbles cereal couldn’t bring back those memories because those three combined did not taste anything resembling s’mores. If I was at a camp that had s’mores that tasted like this cereal, I would cry like a baby, call for my mommy, and pee in my pants to ensure I would be sent home.

The chocolatey nuggets were not even close to being as chocolatey as Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Krispies. The marshmallow boulders and graham bone shapes weren’t very plentiful in the cereal. If you were a microorganism, the marshmallow boulders would actually seem like a large rocks that have the capacity to flatten you, but the small freeze-dried marshmallows that come in hot chocolate packets made the marshmallows in this cereal seem like specks of dirt.

S’mores are supposed to be delicious and messy. Sure, during Boy Scout camp I later regretting eating a dozen of them in one sitting while pooping into a hole in the ground, but while I was eating them, that sugar bomb tasted like a warm hug in my mouth. The Dino S’mores Pebbles cereal is more like a towel whip to the ass in the group shower.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cups – 100 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 9 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Post Dino S’mores Pebbles
Price: $4.99
Size: 11.5 ounces
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: Vitamins and minerals. Actual s’mores.
Cons: Boring, bland. Tastes nothing like s’mores. Not chocolatey. Marshmallow boulders are small. Marshmallow boulders and graham bone shapes aren’t very plentiful. Group showers. Old Boy Scout uniforms. Pooping into a hole in the ground. A towel whip to the ass in the group shower.

16 thoughts to “REVIEW: Post Dino S’mores Pebbles”

  1. My, this review was a little…disturbing. And it made me realize how much I don’t miss camp from growing up, although I was never in the Boy Scouts (thank goodness.)

    Smores are awesome but any mass market product that tries to replicate a good campfire smore is doomed to fail.

  2. Gaaa….I’ve never been a fan of smore’s. They were too sickeningly sweet and messy for me even as a kid.

    Maybe I’ll actually like this cereal because it tastes nothing like them, although I’ve got to agree with Erica, adding the bone to the cereal makes it look like dog food.

  3. Had this a while back…actually I think the stale cereal is still in a cabinet…but it was gross. Not good at all. Very disappointed in the ratio of marshmellows to cereal and the overall taste.

  4. Didn’t I tell you that all cereal nowdays is crap? When we were kids, it was like a bowl of pixie stix mixed with crushed Chips Ahoy swimming in condensed milk. Now, it’s all nutritious and crap. That riboflavin and niacin really ruin things.

  5. Peeing in your pants while camping is seriously underrated, as is pooping in a hole. Builds character… but yeah the cereal sounds kinda yucky.

  6. I never got to be a girl scout, but my friend in high school did have many acres of land behind her house so we had bonfires and I got in numerous smores experiences there. Now I make them in my toaster over and they are almost as delicious.

    I was never a fan of any of the Pebbles cereals though the chocolate ones were tasty, my parents didn’t let me have them often. Health nazis. Peanut butter Captain Crunch was better anyway. And Lucky Charms.

  7. I don’t care for marshmallows, smores nor any of Post’ Flinstones-themed cereal line, so this would certainly be the LAST “flavor” I’d choose to sample in the cereal aisle, if not even at all. I think I’d choose (real) Chocolate-covered ants cereal over this if it existed.

    Your storyline cross-references were creative, witty and funny (as usual).

  8. @Erika – Post will never go bankrupt, but the Post Office is a different story. Oh wait, you’re Canadian. I meant to say Canada Post.

    @Chuck – I have flashbacks of camp whenever I see a flame and prison shower scenes in movies.

    @Chuck – I keep forgetting to add that. I’ll get the hang of it someday.

    @armauld – Bark! Grrrr! Bark! Bark!

    @Heather – I’m sure it’s not stale. Cereal nowadays is indestructible.

    @dramastically – I guess we’re going to have to add our own pixie stix and crushed Chips Ahoy.

    @Bryan – The only thing pooping in a hole does is make me appreciate running water better.

    @Natalie – The pyro in me wishes I could’ve made bonfires.

    @Shannon – DON’T BUY THESE!!!! MAKE YOUR OWN!!!

    @Pomai – I would also choose chocolate-covered ants over this.

    @Neil – I take it you’re into redheads.

  9. And all this time I thought this cereal was just cocoa pebbles with marshmallows in. If they had done that at least, it would probably taste decent. Wouldn’t doing that cost LESS money for them to develop??

  10. Yeah, I had Dino S’mores and they really do taste nothing like s’mores. I don’t get it – the “graham cracker” bones and marshmallow taste like nothing. Like.. I taste no graham cracker, I taste no marshmallow, I don’t know what they are, there’s no taste.

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