REVIEW: Cinnamon Chex Cereal

Cinnamon Chex Cereal is the perfect foundation for something you might find on the blog This Is Why You’re Fat. Now you might be thinking how something wholesome, full of whole grains and provides 12 essential vitamins and minerals can turn into a gut-busting, diet-ruining and nauseating pile of hedonism that you wouldn’t even want to use to sabotage a Biggest Loser contestant. But if you think about it, no food is safe from being This-Is-Why-You’re-Fat-ized.

So how would one turn the Cinnamon Chex Cereal into something possibly worthy of being on a blog that takes other peoples’ pictures of disgusting food mashups, gets super famous and then ends up with a six-figure book deal, while the people who sent the pictures of said disgusting food mashups get almost nothing from that book deal? Well the first thing I would do is give the culinary monstrosity a name. Might I suggest, Cinnamon Chex Mixx. The extra X is for XTREME!!!

What would Cinnamon Chex Mixx consist of? Here’s the recipe:

8 cups of Cinnamon Chex cereal
2 cups of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
2 bags of 1.5 ounce Stacy’s Cinnamon Sugar Pita Chips
2 cups of Cinnamon Jelly Belly jelly beans
2 packs of Quaker Cinnamon & Spice Instant Oatmeal (uncooked)
4 Apple Cinnamon Pop-Tarts split into fourths
4 rolls of Cinnamon Mentos
2 tablespoons of cinnamon
1 dozen Cinnabon Mini Bites (or 3 regular Cinnabons cut into fourths)
1 box of Hot Tamales

Mix everything into the biggest bowl you can find, then place the mixture on top of a Dutch apple pie, take a picture of it while preventing yourself from throwing up at the sight of it, email it to the owners of This Is Why You’re Fat, then try to find someone who would be willing to taste the Cinnamon Chex Mixx, and when no one accepts the challenge, bribe someone to do it. If the photo ends up on This Is Why You’re Fat, congratulations are in order. If it doesn’t, take solace in the fact that the slightest scent of cinnamon will now make you nauseous.

While Cinnamon Chex Mixx on paper sounds unappetizing, Cinnamon Chex Cereal by itself is quite delicious because it has real cinnamon. While not every piece of rice and corn cereal has a cinnamon coating, combining the pieces that do with the pieces that don’t equals a cereal that has the right amount of cinnamon flavor. Just imagine a cereal with three-fifths the cinnamon flavor as Cinnamon Toast Crunch and you’ll get an idea of what this cereal is like. The cinnamon coating also helps keep the cereal from getting soggy too quickly.

Cinnamon Chex Cereal follows in the footsteps of Strawberry Chex and Chocolate Chex. All of them are tasty cereals with just the right amount of flavor; they give consumers an opportunity to eat a Chex cereal without having to eat it in Chex Mix form, which was once the only tolerable form when it was just Rice, Corn and Wheat Chex; and they all can be the beginning of a frickin’ Frankenstein-ish Chex Mixx that will make you sick.

(Nutritional Facts – 3/4 cup – 120 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 17 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Cinnamon Chex Cereal
Price: $5.79
Size: 13.5 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Has real cinnamon. Right amount of cinnamon. Cinnamon coating helps cereal from getting soggy too quickly. Contains at least 8 grams of whole grains. Vitamins and minerals. This Is Why You’re Fat makes me lose my appetite sometimes.
Cons: Might not have enough cinnamon flavor for some. Pricey for me. Making Cinnamon Chex Mixx. Trying to convince someone to eat Cinnamon Chex Mixx. Bribing someone to eat Cinnamon Chex Mixx. Trying not to throw up while taking a picture of Cinnamon Chex Mixx.

16 thoughts to “REVIEW: Cinnamon Chex Cereal”

  1. TIWYF jumped the shark in my mind when I saw they posted “Meatloaf Cake.”

    Granted, I’m biased, as that’s what my girlfriend made me for my birthday last year, but a small wedge for each of us and I ended up freezing a lot of it. Ranked up there with the horrible food possibilities such as “FROZEN FOOD DINNER” or “20 POUNDS OF RAW GREENS”

    Extra bias points for “Screw you, even if I invented something horrible (say, deep fried battered pizza), finding something to fulfill your book deal is your problem, not mine.”

    There are reasons why I won’t allow myself to own a deep fryer. I could very easily see myself trying to batter and deep fry Cinnamon Chex.

    If this product survives long enough, perhaps in another year or so you’ll see banal recipes about “cinnamon chex crusted chicken.” and whatnot. It’ll find it’s way to whatever has replaced TIWYF in time. That’s when you can strike with your recipe.

  2. I’m a big fan of cinnamon flavored cereals. Recently I’ve been getting the Total brand version which is very reminiscent of Cinnamon Toast Crunch but with the “Total” daily vitamins/minerals/etc.

  3. Marvo, I think you should really try out this recipe just so I can see a picture of this monstrosity…

  4. I absolutely LOVE this cereal! Whenever its on sale, which is like everyother week, i buy a box and it never lasts. Just like the Honey Kix. I think I’m weak for new cereals though.

  5. Just in case you were wondering, Jägermeister does NOT go well with regular Chexx mix so I would have to imagine it would be even worse with Cinnamon Chex Mixx…the thought of this is bringing back bad memories.

  6. @transiit: I feel the same way about a deep fryer too. Being a creative and imaginative person, I would try to fry so many things, and not just food items.

    @Ryan: I’m really surprised that you eat food other than fast food. I guess you do have to balance it out. 🙂

    @Heidi: I thought about it but I would probably eat all the Cinnabons before I added it to the bowl. I’m like a chef who drinks all the wine before they can add it to any dishes.

    @Marit: You must love cinnamon.

    @Heather: I’m weak for new cereals too, but that’s just because I run this blog.

    @Bear Silber: It would be frickin’ amazing, but I don’t think my doctors will allow it.

    @OfficeSupplyGeek: The only thing Jägermeister goes well with is Red Bull.

  7. This cearal would go great with coke or pepsi throwback instead of Milk


  8. Marvo….I actually REALLY want to see that. Is there any way I could convince you to at least make it. You don’t have to necesarilly eat it…you could pay someone else to 🙂

  9. I did think of one food that could probably never be “this is why you’re fat-ized” but I’m betting it would probablymake a tasty add to the mixx lol still I’m sure this is another fine addition to the chex line

  10. @ Marvo…Haha, might be hard to believe but I limit myself to twice a week max. I have a pretty decent sized archives though. 🙂 Any yes…BALANCE IS KEY! Running every morning and hockey keep me in check.

  11. @Neil the hammer: You try that and let us know how it is.

    @Bear Silber: I don’t know. It seems too scary. I may throw up while making it.

    @Woodenhand: This cereal is good and so are the other flavored versions.

    @Ryan: I’m now limiting my fast food intake to once a week. My arteries thank me.

  12. Pssst…just saying, this blog is amazing and hilarious and thoroughly informative and genius.

    Thanks for the posts!

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