REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls (Classic Cheddar and Four Cheese)

With a name like Ritz, shouldn’t Ritz Crackers be fancier than they truly are?

Maybe they’re extremely high-class, but I have yet to see a monocle or top hat-wearing old man eating them and getting crumbs stuck in his white beard while discussing the African safari he went on to hunt the ultimate game — humans. Although I have to admit I’ve never been invited to galas that have The Most Interesting Man in the World who only drinks Dos Equis on the guest list or parties that don’t use red plastic cups to hold beverages.

If Ritz Crackers are fancy, Nabisco is attempting to make them a little more ritzier with their Ritz Crackerfuls, which come in two flavors: Four Cheese and Classic Cheddar. They’re basically elegant Ritz Cracker sandwiches with classy canned spray cheese in the middle. According to its box, each individually wrapped cracker sandwich is made with real cheese and five grams of whole grain.

The Ritz Crackers that Chinese fingercuff the cheese filling had that familiar buttery Ritz taste. The Four Cheese one had the sharper flavor of the two and on my ritzy scale of 1-10, with 10 being fine diamonds and 1 being shards of a broken glass window, the Four Cheese Crackerfuls was probably a 5 rating or a plastic silver ring with a clear plastic gem won from accumulating 25 prize tickets at an arcade. As for the Classic Cheddar, it tasted like a Kraft Handi-Snack and on my ritzy scale it was a 4 rating or a plastic neon colored ring with a clear plastic gem that comes delivered in a plastic egg from a 25 cent machine outside of a grocery store.

While I felt both weren’t very fancy, I also thought they weren’t bad. The combination of the buttery Ritz crackers and the soft cheese paste was pleasant, but I think one would get more flavor by purchasing some fancy cheese that doesn’t come in individually wrapped slices and putting it on top of a Ritz cracker. Although I believe that would degrade the cheese.

Something I really didn’t enjoy about the Crackerfuls was the long Ritz Cracker, which was extremely fragile. Because they were even more delicate than normal round Ritz Crackers, I was forced to use a plate since I lack the white beard to catch the crumbs.

Another thing I didn’t like about the Ritz Crackerfuls was its name. Now I don’t have an English degree…

Oh wait. I do.

So it’s all right for me to say I found its name to be confusing because it’s not filled with crackers, it’s filled with cheese. So shouldn’t it be named Cheesefuls?

Now if two layers of cheese were Chinese fingercuffing a Ritz Cracker then it would be Crackerfuls. But it still wouldn’t be very fancy.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – Classic Cheddar – 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 230 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 6% calcium and 4% iron. Four Cheese – 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 220 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 6% calcium and 4% iron.)

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls (Classic Cheddar and Four Cheese)
Price: $3.18 each
Size: 6 pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Classic Cheddar)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Four Cheese)
Pros: Pleasant tasting. Buttery Ritz Crackers. Four Cheese flavor had a nice sharp flavor. Simply Cheddar tasted like a Kraft Handi-Snack, which I do enjoy. Contains mono- and poly unsaturated fats. Hunting humans.
Cons: Cheese looked like something that came out of a can. Long Ritz Crackers were extremely fragile. Crumbs. Would be tastier to buy Ritz Crackers and put your own cheese on it. Not very ritzy. Name doesn’t seem right. Being hunted by humans.

21 thoughts to “REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls (Classic Cheddar and Four Cheese)”

  1. These do look classy, but processed cheese in crackers just can’t compete with real cheese. I’m sure the monocle-wearers wouldn’t be caught dead with pasteurized processed cheese spread. Yeah, I rhymed.

  2. You know when I first saw these on the market I had the thought, “uh oh, the cheese is gonna me nasty processed stuff and degrade the greatness that is Ritz” (yes that’s how I talk to myself in my head!), and thanks to your excellent tasting skills that is confirmed. Too bad. I’m sure they’re tasty but there is no better cracker than a Ritz and no better way to eat them than with a nice piece of sharp cheedar and maybe even with some Tabasco. I wish they were better. I also, unlike you, would love to see the Ritz come in this elongated shape without the cheeseful 🙂

    “because it’s not filled with crackers, it’s filled with cheese. So shouldn’t it be named Cheesefuls?” – True and too funny.

  3. So when I purchase these Ritz Crackerfuls, should I proceed to grab a jug of cheap wine to wash it down with?

  4. You know what it looks like? It looks like Kraft took a long Ritz and just sprayed some of their Easy Cheese on it and called it a new product. 😛 Ya I don’t think I’d spend the money on this (sorry Marvo that you took one for us). Just by some Ritz and melt some “real” cheese on them and you have a good snack!

  5. I had always wondered about the name of Ritz and if it in fact had anything to do with the hotel chain and if it did does that mean it should be held up to higher standards….well here is what I found:
    “A company-wide cracker naming contest yielded the name Ritz.” (in 1934)
    “Famed Swiss hotelier César Ritz opened the hotel on May 24, 1906.”

    So although the names aren’t necessarily related it is possible that whomever nominated the name for the cracker at Nabisco got their inspiration from the hotel chain.

  6. Maybe whoever named them liked putting crackers on their head and needed a song to sing while in the act.

  7. I usually just have regular cheese with flavored generic triscuits these days. Since they sell pre-sliced cracker cut cheese these days, you have to be pretty lazy or hungry not to make your own cheese crackers.

  8. This product in for people to lazy to use the little red stick and spread their own cheese.

  9. Mr Peanut is clearly the winner of classy mascots. Isn’t his name Mr Peanut? You know, the peanut with the top hat?

  10. @Orchid64: Nothing wrong with rhymes. Haikus are something I have a problem with. 🙂

    @Bear Silber: Or make mini crispy pizza! Or put on top some fine Russian caviar.

    @amanda: If it comes in a box, yes.

    @Erin Brooks: I think it would be fancy if they added some gold flakes, which I would accumulate and then sell it to Cash4Gold.

    @Jay: I don’t understand either.

    @Yum Yucky: But they aren’t classy. Actually, purchasing more boxes will make you less classy.

    @Anon: Okay, you got me. That does make sense. And now if you excuse me, I must return my English degree.

    @Bear Silber: If I participated in the cracker naming contest, I would’ve called it Crumbzeez.

    @angry bob: Puttin’ on the Ritz.

    @brad: I gotz served.

    @Chuck: I used to like putting American cheese slices on top of Wheat Thins. It was like a poor man’s nachos.

    @grinder: Mmm…Little red stick.

    @Natalie: Yes, his name is Mr. Peanut, but I think The Most Interesting Man in the World is more classy because he has an accent and a white beard.

  11. I was hoping you’d review these. I saw them in the stores starting a few weeks ago, and my first thought was – a snack for people who are too lazy to even squirt some Easy Cheese on a cracker.

    But being the sucker for trying new things that I am, I picked up a box of each. I too preferred the four cheese over the cheddar, but I didn’t find them to be as fragile as you did.

    They’re pretty expensive for what you get, so I have a feeling these may not be around too long. Kraft/Nabisco do love to churn out a lot of new products, I have to give them props for that.

    Too bad their organic line failed, I actually preferred the organic Oreos to their regular counterparts.

  12. “crumbzeez”??? Your English degree is crying as it reads your comment. I can’t think of the comedian, but if anyone has seen his “Ritz on Ritz” bit, it is hilarious and true. Ritz does not need to dress up because they are top notch already.

  13. @P. The Bachelorette makes me nauseous.

    @slurm I don’t know why I found them to be so fragile. Perhaps it’s because I live in a humid environment. Or because I treat my crackers rough.

    @skibs: My English degree cries every time I touch a keyboard.

  14. @brad: No really, I got served. That makes sense to me…if I sit down and think about it, but looking at it at first glance, I think people will think the way I’m thinking.

  15. I’m a private investigator sitting on surveillance most days and nights. Four cheese crackerfuls are a must for my stay out all night routine. Just keep making them . It’s the difference in starving and making the night something to look forward too. The other guys will call and ask if I have any of those Ritz things with me and always get a few. Then that only leaves me four so I stock up, got three boxes in my kit now. They are just great !!! Thanks

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