I didn’t think it was possible, but I found something that frickin’ scares me even more than The King from Burger King — the Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks.
At least with The King I can kick him in the testicles and run away, but with these syrup-flavored snacks, I don’t know how to defend myself from them. In reality, they look exactly like they do on the package, which isn’t the scary part.
What’s frightening about them is that they look like Muppet penises. Seriously, they do. Take one of these french toast snacks, then go grab an Ernie doll and make him anatomically correct with the crunchy treat. Watching Ernie sing the Rubber Duckie song in a bathtub on Sesame Street will NEVER be the same.
Opening a bag of the Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks is like opening the door to a Denny’s during breakfast time; a strong aroma of maple syrup smacks you across your Grand Slam yearning face. Think of them as sweet, thicker Cheetos because they’re made out of puffed corn and have the same crunchy texture, but instead of orange cheesy goodness, they taste like syrup and pancakes with way too much butter.
However that sweet, buttery flavor was dampened when I ate the next piece right after the first piece and it stayed that way through the others I ate one after another. After letting my taste buds reset by not having any of it in my mouth for about a minute, that strong sweet flavor came back with the next chip I consumed, but it lessened again while eating the next one. I think this roller coaster of flavor was caused by the thickness of the pieces, which were almost twice the thickness of Cheetos. Since all of the flavor is on the outside of the snack, once that outer layer of flavor dissolves, it’s nothing but plain old corn meal.
Overall, I didn’t care too much for the flavor, when I could taste it. I guess the strong buttery flavor was slightly unappetizing. I wish it had more of a cinnamon flavor or, at least, a maple flavor that permeates more through each piece, instead of having to taste plain corn meal.
So I guess the outside and inside of the Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks scare me.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 17 pieces – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein and 2% iron.)
(Note: Here’s another review of them. He liked them much more than I did.)
Item: Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks
Price: 99 cents
Size: 2.25 ounces
Purchased at: PriceBusters
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. About twice the size of Cheetos puffs. Kicking The King in The Balls.
Cons: Looks like a Muppet penises. Strong buttery flavor was unappetizing. Once each piece loses its outer coating it tastes like plain corn meal. Scarier than The King. Strong aroma of maple syrup when you open the bag. Making Ernie anatomically correct.