REVIEW: Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks

I didn’t think it was possible, but I found something that frickin’ scares me even more than The King from Burger King — the Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks.

At least with The King I can kick him in the testicles and run away, but with these syrup-flavored snacks, I don’t know how to defend myself from them. In reality, they look exactly like they do on the package, which isn’t the scary part.

What’s frightening about them is that they look like Muppet penises. Seriously, they do. Take one of these french toast snacks, then go grab an Ernie doll and make him anatomically correct with the crunchy treat. Watching Ernie sing the Rubber Duckie song in a bathtub on Sesame Street will NEVER be the same.

Opening a bag of the Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks is like opening the door to a Denny’s during breakfast time; a strong aroma of maple syrup smacks you across your Grand Slam yearning face. Think of them as sweet, thicker Cheetos because they’re made out of puffed corn and have the same crunchy texture, but instead of orange cheesy goodness, they taste like syrup and pancakes with way too much butter.

However that sweet, buttery flavor was dampened when I ate the next piece right after the first piece and it stayed that way through the others I ate one after another. After letting my taste buds reset by not having any of it in my mouth for about a minute, that strong sweet flavor came back with the next chip I consumed, but it lessened again while eating the next one. I think this roller coaster of flavor was caused by the thickness of the pieces, which were almost twice the thickness of Cheetos. Since all of the flavor is on the outside of the snack, once that outer layer of flavor dissolves, it’s nothing but plain old corn meal.

Overall, I didn’t care too much for the flavor, when I could taste it. I guess the strong buttery flavor was slightly unappetizing. I wish it had more of a cinnamon flavor or, at least, a maple flavor that permeates more through each piece, instead of having to taste plain corn meal.

So I guess the outside and inside of the Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks scare me.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 17 pieces – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein and 2% iron.)

(Note: Here’s another review of them. He liked them much more than I did.)

Item: Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks
Price: 99 cents
Size: 2.25 ounces
Purchased at: PriceBusters
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. About twice the size of Cheetos puffs. Kicking The King in The Balls.
Cons: Looks like a Muppet penises. Strong buttery flavor was unappetizing. Once each piece loses its outer coating it tastes like plain corn meal. Scarier than The King. Strong aroma of maple syrup when you open the bag. Making Ernie anatomically correct.

24 thoughts to “REVIEW: Burger King French Toast Flavored Snacks”

  1. You know what’s sad @Marvo, is that you know what a Muppet penis looks like lol!

    When I came to the site this morning I did a double take (thinking I still had sleep in my eyes from waking up) as to what you were really reviewing. Not trying to be negative but I didn’t have high hopes that you’d like these lol.

  2. This product sounds lame. I’ve never seen any other fast food chain making a line of snacks for the store, not even McD’s.

    Regarding the muppet penises…when I was growing up, nobody cared that Bert and Ernie were living together. It was a more innocent time, I suppose.

  3. @Erin – Hahahahahha.

    Yeah these are just bad news from the start. I would never think of buying them. Thanks for taking a hit for the team!

    @Chuck – Good point.

  4. Love French Toast, HATE BK.
    Love the Muppets and their peni…

    These sound totally revolting! I’ve officially moved BK from the bottom to my list to my “not even if hell freezes over” list.

  5. The two letters of the day is “M” and “P”. Muppet Penis!!

    I hate when items are strong buttery flavored. It really disappoints the snack I wanted.

  6. Yech, I dunno who keeps making corn snacks that’re supposed to taste like restaurant/fast food items, but this madness needs to stop. I learned the hard way with T.G.I. Friday’s Mozzarella Sticks Flavored Snacks, and I’m genuinely offended that this branch of snackdom hasn’t died off yet.

  7. @Yum Yucky: Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

    @Erin Brooks: I thought everybody knew what a Muppet penis looks like. I guess everyone didn’t see the special episode of Sesame Street.

    @Chuck: I guess McDonald’s is just a little bit more classy now that they are serving fancy coffee drinks.

    @Bear Silber: No, I think if you saw them in the store you would think yourself, “I wonder how bad those things are?” And then you would take a chance on them.

    @ripp: Also, love french toast, but enjoys BK from time to time, except their stupid chicken fries.

    @amanda: Muppet Penis!!! I hope this vaults me to the top of the Google searches for “muppet penis.” No dice. I just Googled it and ended up in fourth.

    @maxchain: I don’t think you have to stop the companies, I think you have to stop the people who keep buying them, like owner of product review blogs willing to stick almost anything in their mouths.

  8. They had it in the vending machines at my school, and as usual, I had to get my lunch from there when I forgot my ID.

    Those things scared my friends and I shitless when we first tried them, I’m pretty sure we backed away from the bag.
    … And I tried to pawn them off on someone. “HEY, THESE THINGS ARE REALLY- NO GIVESIES BACKSIES!”

  9. Ever see that skit on Chappelle’s Show where Dave and Q-Tip are teaching kids about drugs and VD? The one puppet pulls down his pants – that’s what I would imagine a Muppet penis to look like as well, but without the yucky discharge – because I’m sure Muppets have safe sex.

  10. A penis is a funny thing Did you know that the Hood or
    tip can come off if overworked. How do I know ?

    Because I saw it in the E. R. one day where I worked


  11. I had no idea that this product even existed. Ah, ignorance was bliss!

    Puffed corn snacks and French toast do not mix. Enough said.

    And of course, after the “Muppet penises” reference (and I don’t want to think about how you might know what they look like)… I will likely be having nightmares now… so thank you very much for *that*. 🙂

  12. I would suggest a german suplex to the kind and a headbutt to these strangley unappealing snacks

  13. @Justin: and I hope you never have to eat both of them at the same time.

    @angry bob: No, I haven’t, but now I want to see it. Netflix queue!

    @Michelle: You should’ve gave them to a hobo, because they might’ve given you some of their hobo treasure.

    @The Frozen Food Master: They were kind of thick so I only put one in my mouth at a time. If I put any more I would’ve gagged.

    @slurm: Yes, I did see that skit. I think if I dipped these in syrup, they would look like a VD infested muppet penis.

    @Bunny: That is a picture of the actual product.

    @Neil the hammer: Does it grow back like a geckos tail?

    @skibs: Yes, definitely weird.

    @Echo710: You are very welcome.

    @Mookie Baylock: But where’s the head?

  14. Yum. i can taste the over buttered Muppet penises, i taste the gross feeling of the butter ( Who knew you can taste feelings?!) stick to my tongue, while I cry because I inadvertly gratified Kermit the Frog.

    A little piece of my soul just died.

  15. phil, kermit the frog was never given a muppet penis. being green isn’t easy. he just fists miss piggy.

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