REVIEW: Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles

Suck it, Joey Chestnut!

I just downed four Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles in 45 minutes. Sure, you’ve gobbled 241 chicken wings in 30 minutes, swallowed 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes, consumed 6.3 pounds of asparagus in 11.5 minutes, chugged a gallon of milk in 41 seconds, and scarfed down 10.5 pounds of macaroni and cheese in seven minutes, but I’m pretty sure you’ve ingested zero Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles in 45 minutes, so I’m totally kicking your ass right now.

Actually, I probably hold the world record in the number Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles consumed in 45 minutes. I haven’t heard of anyone else accomplishing what I did. Originally, I only did it because on the product’s packaging there are four ways to prepare the Snack’n Waffles — microwave, thaw and serve, toaster and conventional oven — and I wanted to try them all. But after I was done with the last one, I realized that I might’ve accomplished something that has never been done before. So I searched the internet and found out that no one else did it, including you.

But you did once inhale 103 Krystal sliders in 8 minutes and 9.8 pounds of pork rib meat in 12 minutes.

When you do attempt to beat my world record of four Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles in 45 minutes, which you won’t beat, might I suggest preparing them in the microwave so that you don’t have to wait very long to taste something sweet before you taste the bitterness of defeat and your sour tears from failure.

I would also suggest having a lot of napkins around because these mini Belgian Waffle-looking snacks are messy thanks to the real chocolate chips in them, which seem to melt at room temperature. Each Snack’n Waffle has 16 grams of whole grains, but you probably won’t notice because the chocolate chips and presweetened waffle pretty much hides that fact from your taste buds.

Yes, they are a bit sweet, but I think they’re quite good.

However, not everything about them is so sweet. They don’t taste as good out of the toaster. Even though it warms the Snack’n Waffles up and makes them crispy, it’s like the toaster burned away some of the chocolate flavor. But they do taste fine after either sticking them in a conventional oven for 5-7 minutes or letting them thaw for 30 minutes.

Also, their density doesn’t remind me of regular waffles, instead they feel a lot like the sponge I use to wash my dishes every two weeks or when the roaches start living in my sink. So maybe you’ll have to employ the Takeru Kobayashi technique of dipping them into water so that they’re easier to eat when you’re trying to beat my world record of eating four Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles in 45 minutes.

Bring it, Joey Chestnut!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 waffle (2 ounces) – 220 calories, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 2% vitamin A, 2% calcium and 4% iron.)

*uses fully hydrogenated cottonseed oil

Item: Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles
Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 4 pieces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Quite good. Individually wrapped. Don’t need to add syrup. My world record of eating four Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles in 45 minutes. Has 16 grams of whole grains. Watching someone eat 241 chicken wings in 30 minutes and consume 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
Cons: Might be too sweet for some. It feels like I’m eating my dishwashing sponge. Hella messy. Doesn’t taste as good out of the toaster. Being in the same public restroom as someone who has just eaten either 241 chicken wings in 30 minutes or 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

9 thoughts to “REVIEW: Smuckers Chocolate Chip Snack’n Waffles”

  1. I like waffles. I like to take my frozen ones and butter fry them and put cream cheese and honey on top. Too bad these are so expensive! I mean, I can make a lot more of these from scratch (though you should never use vegetable oil that smells like petrol or plastic because rancid oil doesn’t make for good waffles…) or with a pancake mix for less and very quickly :D. If I were to try these (if they were on sale for a more reasonable 2 bucks maybe) I would still butter fry them in a pan.

  2. Congratulations on your accomplishment. They sound good, although the melting chocolate chips might prove problematic for my toaster/face. I’d imagine Kobayashi-ing these waffles would be even worse.

  3. So, you ate 4 of them and that was 880 calories. Wow, I’m actually quite impressed, as I’m sure is the size of your ass!

    I love the name “Snack’n Waffles”. It’s very folksy and outdated in a way which makes me feel like it should be a fake product on the original Saturday Night Live.

  4. Awesome, anytime Snack’n is added to something, it automatically makes it better. But spongey texture weirds me out.

  5. @Orchid64 is right on the size of your ass since you ate 4 of these. I do give you kudos on your impressive accomplishment though. 😉

  6. oh, this site always manages to make my day.

    And, dishwashing sponge texture: i can imagine it. vividly. ew.

  7. Dude, our commissary on base won some contest for making the best product display for Smuckers products. As a reward for their ingenuity, the company held an event called “Operation Breakfast” where they came and served all kinds of breakfast products for free, had giveaways, and even a country music star to sing for us. But here’s the best part, when they were closing up at the end, they had cases upon cases of leftover product that they weren’t going to bring back with them. Luckily for me (but not for my waist), a calibrated ass-load of boxes of the snack waffles (all different flavors) back and they set in the freezer of the shop chief’s office. Epic win!

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