On the front of the Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink can it describes the exotic car maker as, “A high quality brand with over 25 years of unique style; a mix of power, elegance and creative engineering. For both men and women with character all of their own, who refuse to go unnoticed. Tonino Lamborghini: classic by definition, audacious by nature.”
However, I prefer to describe the Italian automaker as, “An extremely expensive brand with over a quarter of a century of making cars that almost all of us can only dream of driving and have a fuel inefficiency of 10-12 miles per gallon. For both douchebags and rappers who have money to burn, get off on the common folk staring at them with envy and have small penises to compensate for. Tonino Lamborghini: difficult to drive over speed bumps by design, extremely high car insurance premiums by nature.”
While, today, I may think Lamborghinis are extravagant and fuel-inefficient small penis compensators, I didn’t feel this way when I was 10 years old. Back then, the Lamborghini Countach was my dream car, thanks to twin Autobots Sideswipe and Sunstreaker who both transformed into Countaches.
Of course, back then I didn’t know Lamborghinis were the same price as some houses and that I would never be able to afford one. I liked them because they were fast, looked futuristic and the name Lamborghini expanded my Italian vocabulary beyond just pizza, spaghetti, lasagna and mamma mia.
The Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink is much like any Lamborghini sports car. It’s pricey at $1.79 per 8-ounce can; I can buy a 16-ounce Monster Energy Drink for $1.99. It’s hard to find. And buying it makes me feel like a douchebag.
This energy drink is not only like a Lamborghini sports car, it’s also like a Red Bull because it tastes just like it. However, I don’t think it’s as smooth as a Red Bull and it doesn’t give me wings. It’s also disappointing that as an energy drink inspired by a high-octane sports car it doesn’t have more of an energy kick. With only 80 milligrams of caffeine and 100 milligrams of taurine, it doesn’t provide much energy for me.
Overall, the Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink is a slightly cheaper Red Bull replacement. Yes, I wrote that the Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink is expensive, but Red Bull is even more so and I consider it to be the Bugatti of energy drinks.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 can/8.4 ounces – 128 calories, 0 grams of fat, 252 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein, 125% niacin, 100% pantothenic acid, 385% vitamin B6, 208% vitamin B12, 100 milligrams of taurine and 80 milligrams of caffeine.)
Other Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink reviews:
What I Drink At Work
Item: Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink
Size: 8.4 ounces
Purchased at: Nijiya Market
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes just like Red Bull. Multilingual can. Autobots Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. No high fructose corn syrup. Cheaper Red Bull replacement.
Cons: Pricey for an 8-ounce energy drink, when compared with a $1.99 16-ounce Monster Energy Drink. Hard to find. Buying it makes me feel like a douchebag. Only 80 milligrams of caffeine. Awesome source of sugar. Compensating for a small penis with the purchase of an exotic car.