ANNOUNCEMENT: Want To Write For The Impulsive Buy?

For over six years, The Impulsive Buy has been the blog that thousands of procrastinating college students and bored office workers go to when they’ve caught up with all the panty flashes and nipple slips on The Superficial. The Impulsive Buy is the number one blog on the internet that combines Consumer Reports thoroughness with Playboy comic strip penis jokes. The Impulsive Buy has influenced hundreds of people to avoid Maruchan’s Creamy Alfredo Instant Ramen and let those same people know about the Comfort Wipe

We are currently looking for enthusiastic, talented, funny, and self-motivated individuals to be monkeys with typewriters writers and churn out reviews of the latest products in stores and on fast food menu boards. We’re hoping to bring on two or three new reviewers.

Monkey With A Typewriter Writer Requirements:

1. Must have a typewriter or computer.
2. Willing to fling poop when upset or threatened.
3. Have spelling and grammar abilities equal to or greater than mine.
4. Must be willing to peel own bananas.
5. Own a digital camera.
6. Be okay with being called Curious George and retrieving my yellow hat.
7. Have an ability to entertain people with words, sentences and paragraphs.
8. Have a Paypal account.

It’s a paid gig, but we won’t say how much here. However, we can say it will amount to a decent number of bananas.

If you would like to apply for the position, here’s what you’ll need to send us:

Writing Samples:

1. One sample review in TIB format (price, pros, cons, etc at the bottom). The review can be about whatever product you want. We won’t be using the review on TIB, we just want to see your writing style to determine if you’d be a good fit. To give you an idea of how long a TIB review is, they range from 400-1,000 words.

2. A bio about yourself and why you want to write for The Impulsive Buy.

A Few Notes:

1. Due to legal reasons, we can’t hire minors.

2. Please don’t send attachments. Copy and paste your writing samples into your email.

To apply, please email your sample review and bio to theimpulsivebuyATgmailDOTcom with the line “I want to be a monkey with a typewriter” in the subject line. We will stop accepting applicants on November 5th.

Thank you.