Hey so guess what — I found the damn ice cream.
Irony is a bitch, amirite?Â After literally weeks of searching for the latest Ben & Jerry’s flavor and eventually settling for Breyers Chips Ahoy! as a consolation prize, I finally located Fair Goodness Cake! before Iâ€™d even submitted that last review.Â Yeah.Â That’s like getting a friend request from the girl you had a crush on in high school two weeks after you’ve gotten married.
Except… often when that happens, you realize almost immediately that, old infatuation be damned, you absolutely ended up with the right person.Â That happened to me — it’s crazy to think that if I’d actually had the stones to ask her out back in the day, I could right now be with a diehard Twilight and Justin Bieber fan who’s never heard of capital letters.Â (Because: hi, we’re 31 years old.Â The Biebs should not be on anyone’s radar who was born in the ’80s.)Â So I approached Fair Goodness Sake! with anticipation, but just a little hesitance as well.
Juliet famously pondered what was in a name, to which Ben and Jerry’s response is clearly, “An opportunity for a double pun, duh.”Â Fair Goodness Cake! isn’t the slickest of their ice cream names, but you’ve got to respect the sheer ambition of referencing both the fair trade nature of the ingredients and the flavor itself in the title.Â I’d been looking forward to this one for a while because, beyond the fact that B&J rarely steer me wrong, I was curious to see if I could taste the difference between standard chocolate ice cream versus “German chocolate cake” ice cream.
In answer to that question: yes, although it’s subtle.Â I’d say the chocolate is probably a little darker and richer than what you’d consider “ordinary” chocolate, both in appearance and flavor.Â Texture wise, while there are some crumbled cake bits in it, they’re pretty unobtrusive and blend well into the smoothness of the ice cream.Â If anything, they could’ve added a little more German chocolate cake without anyone complaining, I’m guessing.Â FGS! also contains coconut, which I personally can take or leave.Â To me it’s like the kid sidekick of the ice cream world — I’m not going to complain if it’s there, but if it happens to get accidentally left out, or blown up or beaten to death with a crowbar, I’m kind of okay with that.Â Anyone who got that reference, collect five nerd points and give yourself a wedgie immediately.
But I know that many of you, like my wife, are avowed coconut lovers, and rest assured that Ben & Jerry have not forsaken thee.Â Fair Goodness Cake! boasts a strong, distinctive coconut presence that can’t be ignored.Â Arguably a little too much so — the container boasts of a coconut caramel swirl, but the caramel is almost an afterthought, disappearing quicker than a bartender’s attention when you sit down and order a water (or so I’m told by people who order water in bars).Â In all seriousness, the caramel is there, but very subtle and definitely overpowered by its bigger, more prominent cousin.Â Damn your diva-esque ways, coconut!
Despite what the name might lead you to believe, there’s nothing especially esoteric about Fair Goodness Cake! ice cream.Â It’s not some incredibly niche flavor that like three people will appreciate; it’s just solid, non-flashy ice cream.Â Nothing wrong with that (other than the price… five dollars?!), and while I might’ve desired more parity between the coconut and the caramel elements, overall it’s still tasty stuff.Â Coconut lovers can probably add an extra point to that score, but for everyone else: don’t hesitate to pick some up if you see it, but I wouldn’t drive more than a mile out of your way to get some either.Â Although it is a limited batch, so if you DO decide to partake, don’t wait too long — he who hesitates does not eat cake.
(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 260 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 27 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein.)
Item: Ben & Jerry’s Fair Goodness Cake!
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Finally finding the damn stuff.Â Further confirmation that you married the right person (not that any was needed).Â Cake chunks that enhance the rich chocolate.Â Nice texture.Â Double puns.Â Doesn’t spare the coconut, if that’s your thing.
Cons: Does EVERY new frozen dessert have to have an exclamation mark in its name?Â Kid sidekicks.Â Remembering you never would’ve stood a chance with the girl you’re making jokes about.Â Who hid the caramel?Â $5 is pretty ridiculous for a pint of ice cream.