REVIEW: Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ

Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ

Man, I love bourbon. That slow burn that creeps down your throat, when it’s so acrid you can taste the Southern anger. Mmmmmmmm! Dessert is a maraschino cherry topped in a Manhattan and breakfast is black coffee with two fingers of Maker’s. My liver says otherwise, but there is nothing like sitting in a chaise lounge with your striped pajamas on, The Weather Channel’s Storm Stories on the flatscreen and a rocks glass with some heat. I keep hoping to see Jim Cantore shoot up like that cow did in Twister.

And always accompanying my vice is that recognizable yellow box of Wheat Thins. For as long as I can remember, Wheat Thins slathered with supermarket onion dip or a gummy block of cheap Monterey Jack cheese has always been my drunk eats. Bourbon and Wheat Thins are like peanut butter and jelly to me. I love my bourbon and I love my Wheat Thins. Making me decide between either is like asking who would I choose, saving my wife or my collection of Morrissey albums from Ragnarock (neither, I would choose my bourbon).

One note, if you hate Wheat Thins…you can stop reading. This product will not change your mind. And if you hate Wheat Thins, you need to do a self-evaluation since there are more important things to hate than a snack.

I was very surprised when I walked in from the awful day of work and noticed a box of Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ crackers on the counter that my wife bought me. Now I have never been a big fan of the flavored Wheat Thins because I have a rule, why mess with perfection unless it includes a hand shandy? Looking at the box, coupled with my recent behavior of “drinking too much” (as if there is such a thing), I knew I was not getting either.

Defeated, I grabbed the box and sighed. I was leery of them because it seems like every snack has some version of BBQ flavor. So I took off my jacket and tossed it on my stained ottoman. Loosening my collar and tie, I folded my sleeves 50’s dad style and walked over to my wet bar. I grabbed a glass and poured a couple of shots of hello dolly.

After a swallow or two or five, I returned to the box and decided to give them a chance. The box promises a whole 10 grams of whole grain per serving which is fine and dandy, but I was more interested in the taste.

Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ Closeup

The crackers had that recognizable square shape and a very faint orange-red shade versus the mustardy brown color of Wheat Thins. They smelled like the normal ones, toasted grains and wheat.

Wow! The sweetness was a wonderful contrast to the subtle smoke (as the ingredients list natural smoke flavoring). The smokiness was a punch of garlic and onion. The sweet taste was definitely from the tomato powder used and let me tell you, it was “sucking on a ketchup packet” good. I know you readers out there suck on ketchup packets when no one is looking. It is okay, I won’t tell anyone. As long as you ignore that everyone’s hands have probably molested the hell out of those things, you’re in for a good time normally.

Anyhow getting back to the Wheat Thins, the sweet flavor is not candy sweet nor is it a heavy syrupy sweet. It may not appeal to everyone, but I loved it. I can’t think of anything close to the flavor because while it is similar to other barbecue chips, it has its own character. The Smoky BBQ deserves a try at the very least.

I thought these were damn-o-riffic! The barbecue flavor wasn’t that fakey sugary musk that cheap BBQ potato chips have. I also wouldn’t say it was savory like umami (what an overused term that I now have partaken in) but the taste was close to that sweet and savory thing we all love. It’s similar to Kansas City style barbecue, heavy on the tomato paste and sweeter than other barbecue sauces. After eating more than I should, the flavor was never tiring. Now make sure you have something to drink, the crackers can get a bit salty if you eat too many.

Snacking on these alone are perfect enough but if you want to change it up a bit, an aged white cheddar or some other mild tasting milky cheese would absolutely work. I think brie or even a tub of cream cheese would be a fine accompaniment which would mellow some of the BBQ flavor. A box of Silk Cut ciggies would do the same, but smoking and eating at the same time is gross.

I ate so many that half a box was left after I went to town on them and didn’t care how awful I looked with my joe boxers (those smiley face ones), black socks and a stained white T-shirt.

I have to admit, Wheat Thins BBQ Thins don’t mix well with bourbon but I doubt many of you will be drinking that while eating them. I went ahead and brushed the crumbs off my shirt and onto my lap. I drained my glass after I was rebuffed by the wife again and took comfort knowing that I could place my paws all over the Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ. Yum Yum Yum.

(Nutritional Facts — 14 crackers — 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ
Price: $3.99
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Unique and great addictive barbecue taste. You will not get tired of the flavor. Morrissey. That scene when the cow shoots up rocket style in Twister, man I still laugh pretty hard. The barbecue taste is not fake tasting. Pink Floyd’s Ummagumma.
Cons: It may be a bit too sweet for other people’s taste. If you dislike Wheat Thins, do not bother. Can be a bit salty. Helen Hunt’s forehead, it’s so big I can scrawl another face on it. Jim Cantore’s delivery. The word Umami.

4 thoughts to “REVIEW: Wheat Thins Smoky BBQ”

  1. this product is relevant to my interest in bbq-flavored crunchy snack products. i’m not typically drawn to wheat thins, but i am going to have to make a special trip down the cookies and crackers aisle for these.

    also, i miss publix.

    1. True but I’m still a sucker for the over played “Wish You Were Here”…I know, I know (hangs head in shame).

  2. “And if you hate Wheat Thins, you need to do a self-evaluation since there are more important things to hate than a snack.”
    LOL you guys are so funny. I love BBQ flavored chips so Im def gonna try these out 🙂

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