REVIEW: Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita

Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita

Now I know what urine tastes like from that magical flying ugly dog/dragon-thing in The Neverending Story. Of all my fantasies involving Falkor the Luck Dragon, guzzling its piss was not one of them.

Look, I understand some of you out there need something sweet to choke down alcohol (I’m staring at you underage high schoolers, college kids, and my friend Addam). However, like those awful Transformers movies, too much is really too damned much!

I’m embarrassed to say, for a martini sipping/microbrew slugging/aperitif in a small glass snob, I do like my cans of Bud Light Chelada. Maybe it’s the sweet clam and tomato juice or the salty brine that pats my tongue assuring me my secret is safe with Chelada, but me loves that beer. My wife, before celiac dropped in and ruined the party, liked Bud Light Lime.

So how bad can Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita be? You mean in addition to the stupid name?

Really bad.

I’m talking American Pie sequels direct-to-video bad. I’m telling you it’s worse than Billy Idol’s misguided technorock “Cyberpunk” album and WWE’s botched “Invasion” angle when they went to “war” with WCW and ECW. This Straw-Ber-Rita is Dis-gus-ting.

Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita Can

I was first annoyed at how small the cans were. They are only eight fluid ounces, but after a taste I wish they were even smaller. Occasionally when something smells bad, it probably tastes bad. As we get older, our taste buds become more complex and we want complicated flavors, so we sometimes ignore the smell and go to town.

Yet, when something is bad, it strikes like a hammer to the forehead. I should have known by the repulsive, sickly sweet smell emanating from the dark hole on top of the can. It could only be compared to somebody melting an entire bag of Starbursts or Strawberry Shortcake and Blueberry Muffin having sex, then farting after a good lay.

I noticed it was not very carbonated, which threw me off, but my mind melted at how sweet it was. It tasted like fruit punch spiked with grain alcohol minus the strength of grain alcohol. It took me back to the days of a college freshman trying to get smashed on ripple and dumping as much Gatorade or Hi-C to drown out the weird bitterness.

I could not taste the lime or the mock tequila. The only thing staring at me was the wall of sugar and cloying syrup that remotely tasted of candy-berries (You know that fake flavor of candy strawberries we all hate? I do anyhow). I imagine this is what cartoon characters drink when they are done filming another show. They probably kick back, do some purple colored poopies, and grab a cold Straw-Ber-Rita from their strange orange egg-shaped fridge with zany sound effects.

Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita Color

Additionally, the color is also off-putting. It was a reddish pink that looked like clay or sand from a cheap science fiction film that’s set on Mars. I understand Chelada from the can looks similar, but hell, that tastes good and it’s freaking “clamlicious!”

Anheuser-Busch lets you know that it is 8 percent alcohol, but I think there is more in my Burberry cologne because I could not taste it. The can also stated, “Margarita with a twist,” but that’s an understatement. It’s really a margarita that will make you question the faith of mankind and have you ask yourself, “Can I punch a dog in the face and get away with it?” No. Can this dreck call itself a margarita and get away with it? Double No. The box also suggests I try it on ice. I suggest nobody try it, on ice, without ice, as a body shot, or in the can itself.

As you know, you’re reminded to enjoy alcohol responsibly. The only responsible thing I can think of in regards to Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita is to walk away…walk away very fast from this concoction.

(Nutritional Facts – 8 ounces- 199 calories, 0 grams of fat, 24 grams of carbohydrates, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita
Purchased Price: $11.99
Size: 12-pack/8 fl oz. cans
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: That the cans are only eight ounces, so if you are forced at gunpoint to drink this, it’s kind of a win. Surprisingly low amount of carbohydrates for a malt beverage. The Neverending Story theme song, get out of my head! No wait, come back!
Cons: It is deadly sweet. It does not taste like a margarita. That this actually exists. Direct to video sequels. Did I mention how sweet this is?

34 thoughts to “REVIEW: Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita”

  1. People that voluntarily put clams or a clam-based substance in their mouths have no right to denigrate *anything* that other people put in their mouths. Seriously.

    I had one of these, and it was…okay. I don’t think it was anywhere near as sweet as the reviewer was making it out to be, but I also don’t think it was all that. My brain kept saying Hi-C Fruit Punch, but, to be fair, I haven’t had any Hi-C Fruit Punch in about 40 years…I think that’s just where my brain goes whenever I have some sort of punch-y thing. For all I know, Hi-C Fruit Punch is mostly strawberry-flavored.

    Anyway, I wouldn’t buy it again, but I would drink it if I was buzzed and there was nothing else available to keep the buzz going. It’s not disgusting, it’s just not what I would prefer to drink. Hell, I drank the whole 24-ounce can, and I had plenty of beer and other alcohol in the house. Of course, that may have been because my Dad used to beat us children if he saw us wasting anything…times were tough when I was growing up.

    Considering that it has the Bud Light name on the can, I don’t think it turned out *that* bad. I mean, I’d rather drink water than Bud Light. And hell, 8% is nothing to sneeze at. At least there’s a trade-off for drinking it, which is something that a lot of the swill on the market can’t say.

    So, no rating from me, because it’s obviously a personal thing. I’ll bet that there are people that love it, and more power to them because you should drink what you love…and the rest of us shouldn’t be judgmental about that. Especially if you consume clams. I mean, seriously?

  2. I love this drink and most of my friends do too. Maybe its a drink for the lower class since we don’t know the difference between this bud light and a couple hundred dollar bottle of wine.

    1. I bought a can and it was so disgusting I poured it out. What a waste of money! I can’t believe this passed a taste test to distribute! I just had to see what other reviews of this were! I’m glad I’m only out a can and didn’t buy a six pack!

  3. I liked the taste of it as well as the smell. I didn’t think it was TOO sweet, I thought it was just right. But each of us have our own opinion of things and that’s what makes us unique. So if you hate it… don’t drink it again. If there’s something I don’t like, I don’t get it again. God Bless.

  4. I am trying, for the first time after my coworker brought one in for me this morning…WOW! After a 16 hour very rough shift this its just what I needed this morning…the taste is not too sweet, just like a margareta should, I finished the little 8 ounce can in a minute, wish it were larger. went to the grocery store and bought a 12 pack spent 10.00. over all I wil be buying another…tomorrow.

  5. I really only enjoy these 1 or 2 at a time. I am not able to drink an entire case because they are so sweet. I have found some nice mixed drinks with them one of my favorites being very simple. I don’t measure my drinks i usually eye it out but try tequila (roughly 3 or 4 shots give or take), a whole straw-ber-rita along with a little bit of margarita mix. You will definitely need a bigger cup, but this essentially turns it into somewhat of a strawberry margarita and taste fantastic. Also for those for broke college kids like myself who mix whatever we can get our hands on cheap tequila works great. This is how I usually start off my night when I have tequila, and just 2 or 3 get me tipsy almost drunk at which point I’ll switch to beer so I do not get too drunk too quickly.

  6. I bought a can and it was so disgusting I poured it out. What a waste of money! I can’t believe this passed a taste test to distribute! I just had to see what other reviews of this were! I’m glad I’m only out a can and didn’t buy a six pack!

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