REVIEW: Starbucks S’mores Frappuccino (Bottled)

Starbucks S'mores Frappuccino Chilled Coffee Drink

Grammar check: Is the opposite of “s’more,” “s’mless” or “s’mfewer”? I know it’s a s’mall detail but I want to seem s’mart while I s’mear this product.

The Starbucks S’mores bottled Frappuccino sucks. S’more? How about s’mfewer? (Boom. Got ‘em. High fives all around.)

It’s not totally Starbucks’ fault, though. Let’s deconstruct the drink around the campfire. Theoretically, it’s chocolate, marshmallow and graham cracker flavors in a Frappuccino. The problem begins with the concept of a liquid marshmallow. Take away the context of a fluffy, pillowy, chubby-bunny confection and you’re left with a sickeningly sweet amount of sugar. That’s the overriding flavor here, and it really dominates the entire campfire to the point of grimaces.

Creeping below is a s’mall s’mattering of cinnamon notes, presumably to cover the graham cracker part. It sort of rides along and doesn’t ruin things but also doesn’t help much, like a Muttley to the marshmallow’s Dick Dastardly.

Curiously absent is a strong chocolate element. I found this strange, because Starbucks has previously given us a halfway decent bottled mocha, although a few sips here and there I detected some bitter chocolate flavoring, quickly smoothed over by a wave of dairy. Must’ve s’muggled it in somehow.

Starbucks S'mores Frappuccino Chilled Coffee Drink 3

The balance is off. The sweetness of the entire thing is cloying and also has some sort of artificial quality that makes the entire drink taste a little bit like milk that has gone bad or something. I don’t know where the coffee flavor is. Yes, they botched the marshmallow part, but the lack of a woody, dry graham cracker taste is also disappointing. No s’miles for this s’melly coffee s’moothie.

There’s an in-store version of the S’mores Frappuccino now and I’m sure it’s better. It’s gotta be better. Please be better.

Here we are, at the end. Dude is strumming Kumbaya on the acoustic, the s’moke is billowing and I’m about to tell us a scary story. The story is about how one time I had to drink a sweet ass s’more. The scariest part is that it cost me almost three bucks. Oh, forget it. I can’t properly picture this drink at a campground… I can, however, picture throwing it into a fire. Sorry, me being s’mug.

(Nutrition Facts – 290 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 46 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.)

Item: Starbucks S’mores Frappuccino (Bottled)
Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 13.7 oz bottle
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 1 out of 10
Pros: Helpful reminder to check out the real version at a real life Starbucks. So bad you want to give it a second chance.
Cons: Too sweet. Sweetness kills the entire thing, throws it out of whack. Gross tasting.

14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Starbucks S’mores Frappuccino (Bottled)”

  1. I was also very disappointed with this bottled frappuccino. Don’t get me wrong, I love marshmallow, but this is just too much of the same thing and nothing else, it was like drinking marshmallow flavored milk, not coffee >.<
    I would love if you reviewed the new S'mores frappuccino blended coffee beverage in their stores (in addition to their creme version of it for comparison, please)!!!

  2. I tried the new S’mores Frappuccino from the store this morning, I thought it was good. I would suggest getting a tall due to the sweetness and they gave me a cookie straw to drink it with.

  3. I tried the in store version today and it was very good. I have never cared for the bottled versions being called a Frappuccino because to me they taste nothing alike. No whipped cream, no varying texture from being blended with ice and the flavors are different. I wasn’t planning on trying the bottled S’mores flavor and I will definitely not be now!

  4. I thought this was a total miss as well! It was just gross. I do look forward to trying the non-bottled version though.

  5. I had this in March. One of the worst things I have ever drank. And I once mixed unsweetened Hershey’s cocoa Powder in Milk…when I was a KId.

  6. LOL! I loved the campfire story part. I tried the Smores Frappuccino Bottled myself and I agree, all you taste is artificial marshmallow. It was waaaay too sweet for my liking. I think I’ll stick with the mocha bottled frappes.

  7. I’m back, I just felt the need to share my experience after trying the in-store frappuccino version of this! It was DIVINE! Absolutely lovely, I highly recommend it! The flavors are much more prominent and distinctive, and the whole experience reminded me of the different layers of flavor you’d find with a macchiato. One sip would be chocolate, one would be soft marshmallow, then the next would be graham cracker. Much more prominent and distinctive flavors. They did a phenomenal job in its execution! Where did this bottled one go wrong?

  8. this one is okay but the mocha coconut frap is way better. It taste exactly like an almond joy.

  9. Do not buy this. I picked up one from walmart and it tastes strangely like medicine. Disgusting really. Which is weird because all the other flavors i have tried are quite tasty.

  10. I just want to reply to this as I picked up 3 different Starbucks coffee bottles since there would be no coffee shops open on Christmas – and unfortunately one of them was S’mores. This is TERRIBLE! To me it has a very strong perfume fragrance taste. I do enjoy the ‘Mocha’ and ‘Coffee’ flavors, but I would avoid this.

  11. Tasted like sugar coated chemicals. So bad made my tongue feel slightly numb. I love marshmallows and chocolate. Thought I would like it but could not drink it. Even tried mixing in black coffee to take away the sweetness. This made it even more so taste like chemicals.

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