America’s favorite fast food punching bag, Arby’s, should stick to the one thing they do best: roast beef sandwiches.
Think about it: have you ever, in your life, stopped what you’re doing and made a beeline for the joint because you simply had to nosh on its gyro or down a fish sandwich pronto? Has a day ever been made better by one of its ice coffee drinks? Ever sat at work daydreaming about a big bowl of those curly fries, well, okay, I’ll give you the curly fries. But, still, Arby’s meandering attempt to enter the barbeque game — one of many, I’m sure — by putting a beef short rib sandwich on the menu is mediocre at best.
Utilizing the mainly fatty beef parts of the aforementioned short rib, an admittedly nice big handful of that cheap cut is packed between two thick slices of mostly toasted Texas toast and topped with soggy fried onions, misplaced melted cheddar cheese and a little slight drizzle of barbeque sauce to give it more of that down-home back-country feel. It doesn’t work, but kudos for trying, Arby’s.
As I took as large a bite as my medium mouth could allow, I tasted more of the sauce than the meat which is never a good sign, especially when it Arby’s barbeque sauce. However, pulling a few pieces of the short rib out to taste by its lonesome, I can see why; the meat was a bit dry, and a good dollop of that sickly sauce gave it its much needed (but still pretty unwanted) flavor.
Additionally, that fraudulent smoky sauce seeped deep into the bread as well, so there’s that if you’re big into sticky, damp bread.
Alongside the Short Rib Sandwich, Arby’s has a quasi-companion piece taking the form of Short Rib Loaded Fries which are exactly how they sound: a decent pile of their quintessential curly fries, bastardized with short rib meat, even more melted cheddar cheese, and a whole mess of that barbeque sauce to give them a sense of purpose and meaning.
It’s an unapologetically mishmash of flavors, none of which seemingly belong together in the slightest. The corporate entity barbeque sauce sweetens, almost to a fault, the mildly limp fries. Meanwhile, the short rib meat makes a pretty garnish but not a very useful tater topping, big clumps falling everywhere, just looking for that Texas toast.
For a nice size bowl of these loaded fries—loaded fries being my favorite of all fries, honestly, it’s kind of a wasted effort. Give me some plain curlies and few packs of Horsey Sauce and I’m gold, kid.
Arby’s, your bold experimentalism let me down again, but don’t worry: come Christmastime I promise I’ll be back in line for your five roast beef sandwiches for five bucks. You all still do that, right? Please tell me you do.
(Nutrition Facts – Sandwich – 590 calories, 28 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 1510 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, 4 grams of fiber, and 26 grams of protein. Loaded Curly Fries – 730 calories, 41 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 2300 milligrams of sodium, 75 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, 6 grams of fiber, and 15 grams of protein.)
Purchased Price: $5.99 (sandwich)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Sandwich)
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Loaded Curly Fries)
Pros: Lots of meat. Good to see Texas toast on the menu. Chance to visit your local Arby’s.
Cons: Barbeque sauce too “fake sweet.” Soggy onions and bread. Cheese sauce not like I remember.