When life gives you a case of Pillsbury Safe To Eat Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, you make cookies. That’s what I found myself doing after getting enough cookie dough to bribe my way off Santa’s naughty list.
I mean, it’s not as if there’s something I’ve done this year that would get me on that list. Oh, wait. Do REALLY naughty things from the previous year roll over into the following year, like some tax breaks?
Hmm, I might need more dough.
Or I could steal Santa’s naughty list, so he won’t know who’s naughty or nice. Then no bribing necessary, and I can eat these all by myself. But getting caught would be a REALLY REALLY naughty thing that would earn me a permanent place on the list. I’ll risk that.
Now, does Santa use a paper list? Or maybe it’s on an iPad. But wait, is it a tangible list? Could it be in his head? We all know he works one day of the year delivering presents, but he could be spending the other 364 remembering who’s on the naughty list. Is he like a Scripps National Spelling Bee contestant? But instead of using flash cards with words that 95 percent of the US population doesn’t know exist, it’s naughty peoples’ names and addresses.
But then there’s getting to the North Pole. Although it’s easier with less ice. Then there are the many elves who are all armed with magic. Would wearing a stolen mall Santa suit get me past them?
Okay, let’s say it does. Now I have to deal with Santa himself because if the list is tangible, he must keep it near him at all times. But if I’m dressed up as Santa, I can’t get near him. Could I use Mrs. Claus as a mark and persuade her to bring me the list? But if it’s all in his head, do I have to give him amnesia or do some quick brain surgery?
Nah, this plan has now gotten too complicated.
I’m just going to bribe Santa with these fresh baked cookies because I’m sure the big guy would not be moved by pre-packaged ones.
These are tasty enough that I would bake the entire dough case I was given for myself, if I didn’t have to get into Santa’s good graces. After they’ve cooled a bit, they have a chewy middle, crispy edges, and gooey chocolate chips, which I expected since these are made to taste, look, and feel exactly like the previous not-recommended-eating-raw formulation of the cookies. Sadly, baking these don’t make my kitchen smell like chocolate chip cookies.
But this dough can also be eaten raw. How does Pillsbury do that? Well, it involves taking the ingredients that can cause illnesses when not cooked — the flour and eggs — and basically cooking them. So the flour is heat treated and the eggs are pasteurized. You can read more about Pillsbury’s Safe to Eat Raw products by going to the company’s page about it.
Having baked three-fourths of a package and eating some raw, I prefer them baked because the cookie’s flavors, especially the sugar and chocolate, pop more. Although it’s nice to have options when consuming them. But the raw cookie dough was a bit too much for me. While I could eat four or five baked cookies in a row, I wanted to eat just two dough pieces. I guess that’ll help prevent me from getting Santa bod since I don’t have disguise myself as Saint Nick anymore.
DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the product. (Thanks, Pillsbury!) Doing so did not influence my review.
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 16 oz package
Purchased at: Received from Pillsbury
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 170 calories, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber 15 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.