The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Mystery Flavor Twizzlers

Mystery Flavor Twizzlers Package

What are Mystery Flavor Twizzlers?

Uh, I have no idea. That’s kinda the point.

How are they?

I think this may be the most successful “Mystery” flavor gimmick of all time, because these Twizzlers taste like… nothing. I’m mystified. The mystery is how anyone could possibly come away from these with an idea of what they just tasted.

I’m gonna try to explain, but I’m not sure I’ll be successful.

There are really no clues on the boring packaging to go off of, so let’s start with what we know, these probably aren’t a flavor that Twizzlers has done before. Just going off the purpley-brown color rules out Strawberry, Cherry, Chocolate, Grape, and Raspberry. I can’t help but feel like a standard fruit wouldn’t be worthy of a mystery flavor anyway.

The smell, which is infinitely stronger than the taste, reminded me of something familiar. I ultimately decided it was Hawaiian Punch.

Tastewise? Man, these just taste like bad Twizzlers.

Twizzlers don’t really bash you over the head with flavor as it is, they just taste like twisted leathery plastic more than anything. If I was blindfolded, I would think I was eating a regular red Twizzler from a bad batch. I tried really hard to concentrate, but my brain just kept thinking, “Oh, this is a Twizzler!”

They’re not sweet, they’re not especially fruity, and there’s just nothing distinct about them.

This could be fruit punch, but it literally packs zero punch, and I don’t think that’s unique enough to base a Mystery Flavor campaign around. Fruit Punch isn’t exciting, and this was, frankly, more like a fruit slap. Nah, it was more of a “poke,” to be honest.

Perhaps I was swayed by the color, but I thought maybe it could be a soda-based flavor. Perhaps cola or Dr Pepper? Ya know what, my final guess is Cherry Cola.

Anything else you need to know?

Nope, scratch that, Wikipedia claims Twizzlers briefly had a Cherry Cola flavor in 2006. Unless this is a rehash of that, I guess I’m just gonna stick with Fruit Punch Poke.

I honestly feel like this could be a prank, with the flavor being “nothing.” That would actually be hilarious.

I’m not kidding. I waited a week to write this review because I wanted to keep eating these while my taste buds were fresh. They always tasted like a sugarless red Twizzler with ZERO aftertaste.

Conclusion:

So, like all great mysteries, this one ends… with zero resolution?!

Twizzlers were a perfect brand to try the mystery thing – they’re literally twists! I don’t know how they failed so miserably.

Please try these and help me understand what the heck I’ve been eating. I’ll revisit them after every guess because I’m definitely gonna have these lying around for a while. At least I’ll have some environmentally safe drinking straws to sip cherry cola through if I could actually manage to tug-o-war another one out of the sticky bag.

Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 16 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 Pieces) 120 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 gram of saturated fat, 70 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of total carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, and 1 gram of protein.

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