The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Cake Batter Cookie Dough Blizzard

We all have some beliefs that we know with certainty are true, and no amount of debate or evidence will ever change our minds. For me, one of those tenets is this: sprinkles are wildly overrated and borderline useless in society. I know others disagree, including the group of small children I saw at a Fourth of July picnic fighting over a shaker of sprinkles for their ice cream. Perhaps they had been studying the Declaration of Independence and thought acquiring said sprinkles would help them successfully achieve their pursuit of happiness. I contend that those kids were misguided. Try eating a handful of just sprinkles and tell me I’m wrong.

At this point, you might assume that my review of Dairy Queen’s July Blizzard of the Month is trending toward a big thumbs down because the Cake Batter Cookie Dough Blizzard has a double dose of sprinkles. The colorful pieces of nothingness are mixed into the cake batter-flavored soft serve and embedded into the confetti cookie dough pieces.

There is a hero, however, that saves this Blizzard. While the standard vanilla soft serve base of most Blizzards is perfectly fine, this cake batter variation is sumptuous. It somehow manages to amp up the sweetness of the ice cream without going too far, and it delivers a subtle extra flavor that seems like a little bit of icing mixed with cake. I would definitely eat cake batter ice cream by itself.

Despite my professed indifference, or perhaps even disdain, for sprinkles, I must say this is a decent Blizzard. And I will begrudgingly say the sprinkles are not completely useless here. They bring a rainbow of color, which I guess is great if you are posting on Instagram, and they contribute a bit of extra texture, which is pleasant. But because sprinkles have virtually no taste, they contribute virtually nothing to the flavor of this Blizzard.

The cookie dough nuggets in here can best be described as sugar cookie-flavored. Again, there are some sprinkles in the cookie dough, as shown in the photo after I dissected one, but, again, they don’t add any flavor.

The quibble I have with this Blizzard — other than my excessive diatribe about sprinkles — is that the cookie dough pieces are overshadowed by the cake batter ice cream. The dough had such a mild flavor that I almost forgot about it. This one might be worth doing a little experimenting and asking for some M&M’s or Oreo cookies to be added to the mix.

Even though this one missed the mark a bit for me, it is certainly worth trying just to experience the cake batter-flavored ice cream.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 610 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 95 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 71 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

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