Author: Denis

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard

Denis 8 Comments

Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard

What is the Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard?

One of the new additions to Dairy Queen’s 2020 Summer Blizzard Menu, this one features real raspberries, soft fudge pieces, and choco chunks mixed by the magical Blizzard machine with vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

I give this one an “A,” as in adequate, acceptable, average…that’s all I could find for synonyms starting with the first letter of the alphabet. My issue here is that I did not get much of a raspberry taste, and therefore, not much bliss.

Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard Raspberry Bits

The promotional photos from DQ feature good-sized chunks of raspberries perched atop a mountain of soft serve covered with two types of chocolate. My Blizzard, however, had what would best be described as flecks or specks of raspberries. My hopes that the fruit chunks had simply sunk down a bit during the melting that occurred from the drive-thru window to my house were dashed after a furious digging expedition yielded nothing.

Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard Top Choco

The raspberry taste was quite mild and no match for the double dose of chocolate, which was amply mixed throughout and on top of the Blizzard. The soft fudge and choco chunks worked nicely together with the different textures, and the flavors merged well with the vanilla soft serve. But if you are expecting a distinctive raspberry flavor, you might be let down.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Because it has real raspberries, this Blizzard is really good for you! OK, no it isn’t. Not even close. But it is less unhealthy for you and has fewer calories, fat, and sugar than most other varieties. Plus, a medium has 20 percent of the recommended daily value of Vitamin C, so all you need to do is throw down five of these and you’ll be all set for the day. Disclaimer: you’ll also have to run a marathon plus some extra miles to work off the 4,000 calories.

Conclusion:

“You’re not bad, but I am disappointed in you” is what I tell my kids when they do something stupid, and it’s also what I told this Blizzard as I consumed it. Look, it’s hard to make a bad Blizzard using any combination of candy, chocolate, and fruit, although eggplant and olives are technically both fruits, so it wouldn’t be an impossible task. So this is still a good Blizzard, but it’s also pretty forgettable.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 800 calories, 32 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 117 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of dietary fiber, 89 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser! Cheeser! Pizza

Denis 13 Comments

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza

What is Little Caesars’ Pepperoni Cheeser! Cheeser! Pizza?

From the undisputed world champion of excessive and flamboyant monikers for pizza, like the ExtraMostBestest, comes perhaps Little Caesars’ most fanciest freshtastic pizza ever. This pie includes three luxury accoutrements —- fresh mozzarella, sweet basil, and a toasted asiago-parmesan crust.

How is it?

Amazingly, Little Caesars might have undersold this one on the name. Yes, the unnecessary use of exclamation points is there, and “cheeser” is non-sensical, but the taste of this one actually surpasses the name.

A wise man named Meatloaf once opined, two out of three ain’t bad. With apologies to Mr. Loaf, when it comes to pizza enhancements, I would argue that two out of three is really good.

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Cheese

The fresh mozzarella is the star of this pizza show. It has a pleasant, mild flavor and much firmer consistency than regular chain pizza cheese. It also delivers that satisfying “snap” when you bite through it.

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Crust

As for the crust, there is quite a bit of it, and if it were just plain old crust, it would definitely be too much. But this has a bold cheese flavor (mostly from the asiago and not so much from the parmesan) and a crunchiness not normally found with Little Caesars’ round pizza. I liked this crust a lot.

While the fresh mozzarella and crust are both excellent, the sweet basil is like sprinkles on a cupcake. It makes it look better but does not add much to the taste. But like I said, two out of three is really good, and the basil does nothing to detract from the success of its cheese and crust friends.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Slice

Select your slice with care if you want some of the fresh mozzarella. As best I could tell, there were seven slabs of the delicious chewiness on my pizza, but they were put on a bit haphazardly and not every slice was graced with one. I’m no mathematician, but if you have seven pieces of cheese with eight slices, someone is getting screwed. Even some of the promotional photos from Little Caesars seem to show a slice or two being deprived of fresh mozzarella, so if you are sharing with friends or family, make sure you are not last in line.

Conclusion:

Is this the best pizza I’ve ever had? No, of course not. It’s from Little Caesars. That’s a silly question to ask. But is it the best whole pizza you can buy for $7? Yeah, it probably is. The only thing that might make it better is to stuff the crust with cheese…and wrap it in bacon. I don’t even want to think about how Little Caesars would name something like that.

With many of its pies costing just $5, Little Caesars has never been known for great pizza, but if you want something decent using only the change you could dig out of the couch, its pizza gets the job done. Now, if you can scrounge up another $2, you can get something that’s really good and a great value for your money.

Purchased Price: $7.00
Size: Large
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (full pizza, 8 slices) 2,400 calories, 980 calories from fat, 111 grams of fat, 46 grams of saturated fat, 235 grams of cholesterol, 4,620 grams of sodium, 244 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 109 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultrá Rosa and Ultra Fiesta

Denis 8 Comments

Monster Energy Ultra Fiesta and Ultra Rosa

What are Monster Ultra Rosá and Ultra Fiesta?

The Monster Ultra stork has delivered two new arrivals to the energy drink’s zero sugar family in the form of Ultra Rosá and Ultra Fiesta.

How are they?

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

Let’s start with Ultra Rosá, the more mysterious of the two. Let me explain the mystery. The color reminded me of cotton candy, and after about 10 attempts the best — and admittedly useless — description of the smell I could come up with is “fruity.” The can is also of little help, saying, in part, “Ultra Rosá is not what you think. Forget about pink lemonade, blush wine, guavas and strawberries.”

So what flavor is it? I truly have no idea, although if I had to pick one I’d say pink lemonade, despite the advice of the can. Although my description might be wholly inadequate, I can report that it’s an excellent flavor — not too strong, not too sweet, not too fruity. I celebrate the entire catalog of Monster Ultra flavors, and this just might be my favorite yet. It sort of tastes like summer, and summer is good.

Monster Energy Ultra Fiesta

While Ultra Rosá can is vague as far as the flavor, the vessel housing 16 ounces of Ultra Fiesta flat out tells you it’s mango. And when you open the can, there is no doubt, as the mango aroma is quite powerful.

The actual flavor, however, is a bit more subdued. Yes, there is a hint of mango in there, but overall I found it to be more of a general citrus flavor, perhaps with a bit of pineapple and orange. It almost reminded me of Mountain Dew with more of a citrus kick. Like the Ultra Rosá flavor, this one also gets a thumbs up from me.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Remember in grade school when someone at the lunch table mixed mustard, Goldfish crackers, part of a chicken nugget and some apple sauce together and dared someone else to eat it? Well, I was the one who tried those nasty concoctions, assuming of course that some kind of monetary reward was involved. So it was only natural for me to mix these two flavors together.

Monster Energy Ultra Mixa

The resulting color could best be described as dishwater, and it only tasted slightly better (please don’t ask how I know). For those of you that are of legal drinking age, I think either of these flavors would make excellent mixers, but mixing them together is not recommended.

Conclusion:

Monster Energy Ultra Fiesta Design

I’ve always liked the textured feel of Monster Ultra cans, as it gives me a warm feeling inside knowing that a surge of 150 milligrams caffeine will soon be flowing through my veins. I’ve never paid much attention to the design on the can, but the imagery on the Fiesta can is particularly eye-catching with it Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) theme. That all has nothing to do with the taste, but these are both excellent additions to the Monster Ultra lineup.

Purchased Price: $2.29 each
Size: 16 fl. oz.
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Rosá) 8 out of 10 (Fiesta)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 (Fiesta) 380 (Rosa) milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard

Denis 2 Comments

Dairy Queen Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard

What is the Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard?

The Dairy Queen Blizzard of the Month for February includes vanilla soft serve forcibly mingled with chocolate chip cookie dough, choco chunks, and cocoa fudge.

How is it?

Dairy Queen Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard Top

Pretty good for a Blizzard that’s basic in name and substance —- no movie tie-in with a cute play on words like the Jurassic Chomp and no declarations that it’s royal or outrageous in any way. It’s just the standard Cookie Dough Blizzard with more chocolate and more fudge. With that said, all the chocolate balances nicely with the non-chocolate part of the cookie dough. The dueling textures of the soft dough and crunchy choco chunks are also nice.

As an aside, sometimes I feel bad for whoever the Queen of Dairy has deemed worthy of creating and testing new Blizzard combinations for the kingdom to enjoy. Sure, it’s an awesome job and one that I would surely do for less money than whoever currently has said awesome job (note to any DQ exec reading this: please leave your contact info in the comments, and I’ll send my resume).

Dairy Queen Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard Spoon

On the other hand, after all the monthly, seasonal, and special Blizzards over the years, it’s hard to come up with something truly unique. Case in point, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough was the Blizzard of the Month back in November…of 2010! The only difference here, after nearly a decade, is that this version has cocoa chunks and presumably double the fudge. Well done, unknown DQ employee, well done.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Dairy Queen Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard Shark

I got a choco shark tooth in mine! Yes, I know it’s not as impressive as an Abe Lincoln-shaped Cheeto or the image of Kanye West appearing on a grilled cheese sandwich, but I thought it was pretty cool. Check eBay soon if you’d like the chance to own this rare and valuable piece of DQ history.

Conclusion:

This Blizzard falls into the category of satisfying but also forgettable. If you are a fan of action movies and The Rock, you know what I’m talking about. This is worth ordering next time you visit the realm of Dairy Queen, but it doesn’t quite rise to the level of worth ordering through DoorDash…unless you are really lazy, and can afford the mark-up and tip, and can deal with your Blizzard being slightly melted and not having a DQ employee flip it upside-down for your amusement. It’s not quite that good.

Purchased Price: $4.09
Size: Medium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 1,160 calories, 50 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 163 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 120 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hershey’s White with Whole Almonds

Denis 11 Comments

Hershey s White with Whole Almonds

What is Hershey’s White with Whole Almonds?

Let’s start with what it’s not -— white chocolate.

That caught me off guard a little, especially with this being from Hershey’s, but this candy bar contains no chocolate at all and instead is white creme with whole almonds.

How is it?

Hershey s White with Whole Almonds Front

It’s just OK. Maybe my expectations were too high because this product kind of gives off the aura of being a high-end candy bar, but I wasn’t impressed. The white creme reminded me of hardened cupcake frosting, and I’m not talking the decadent type like you get at those fancy $5-a-cupcake places. I’m talking overly sweet frosting on a cupcake you get a superstore that rhymes with Malwart. As for the almonds, they were fine and whole, as promised. They were also lined up nicely down the center of the bar.

Hershey s White with Whole Almonds Back

Is there anything else you need to know?

No, you don’t need to know the following information, but I’m going to give it to you anyway. I spent nearly two minutes researching what creme was, and I learned it could be a sweet liqueur or a type of cream.

But, of course, I got distracted during my extensive inquisition and focused on the accent in crème, and more specifically, why the Hershey’s wrapper didn’t have said accent. I found no answer to that question, and I didn’t really care that much to begin with, so I gave up.

But I learned that the particular accent mark in crème is called a grave accent. That sent me down a rabbit hole of punctuation names that are just fun to say and even sound a little dirty, like rough breathing (look it up, I’m not lying), retroflex hook, inverted breve, and perispomene. So have fun with those.

Conclusion:

Hershey s White with Whole Almonds Side

This is certainly worth a try if you like almonds; it is a candy bar after all, and it will definitely hit the spot if you have a hankering for something sweet. But if you are looking for an indulgent treat that will give you the weird, pleasure-filled expression you see on commercials when people are trying some fancy candy, then this one misses the mark.

Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: 1.45 oz. bar
Purchased at: H-E-B
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 220 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.