Here’s the winner of The Impulsive Buy’s Jones Bacon Soda Winner Prize Drawing:
Marc
Congratulations to Marc, who will also be receiving a package of bacon flavored popcorn, a package of bacon gravy, a tube of bacon lip balm and moments of grimacing. Also, thank you to everyone who participated.
A sleeve of Wendy’s new Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt is a lot like a European nude beach, because both contain lots of long, golden brown things with their skins left on.
I’m not sure why Wendy’s decided to change their original fries to these uncircumcised ones because I’ve always liked the original version which was my second favorite behind McDonald’s fries, albeit a distant second. Can’t Wendy’s settle for second place in my heart?
Changing fries seems like the trend with major fast food places not named McDonald’s. Both Burger King and Jack in the Box have changed their fries within the past 15 years. Heck, Jack in the Box changed their fries twice within the past six years. But, both fast food companies had reason to change their fries, because they sucked. Unfortunately, I think their updated versions still aren’t very tasty and are just there to make sure your value meal provides 75 percent of your daily intake of saturated fat and sodium.
What’s so great about Wendy’s Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt? I’ll be lazy and let what I copy and pasted from a press release explain.
“The new fries incorporate a range of new ingredients and preparation methods to meet consumers’ demand for a better-tasting, higher-quality French fry. They are made 100% from Russet potatoes and sliced “natural-style†with the skin on for additional texture and taste, then cooked in proprietary oil that contains no allergens and has 0 grams trans fat per serving. They are finished with a dusting of natural sea salt to further enhance the flavor.”
Wendy’s Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt have a stronger potato flavor than their previous incarnation, thanks to the left-on skin. Hmm…I just realized they could be keeping the skin on their fries to keep them in line with Wendy’s slogan: “You know when it’s real.”
I’m slow.
The fries have a nice crispy exterior and an equally nice fluffy interior. I was happy to see that there weren’t any limp fries, which was the main problem with Jack in the Box’s Natural Cut Fries. I was also happy that the new Wendy’s fries weren’t very greasy. However, despite the use of sea salt, the fries weren’t as salty as I would’ve liked them to be. It’s disappointing because one of the reasons why McDonald’s fries are so great is their saltiness.
Wendy’s Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt are still second place in my heart, but the gap between them and McDonald’s fries has widened a little. Although, to be honest, I don’t think Wendy’s fries will ever reach first place in my heart, not because of their flavor, but because they’re blocked by the saturated fat from all the McDonald’s fries I’ve eaten.
(Nutrition Facts – Medium/142 grams – 420 calories, 180 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 500 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 10% vitamin C and 8% iron.)
Other Wendy’s Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt reviews:
Grub Grade
We Rate Stuff
Epic Portions
Item: Wendy’s Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt
Price: $1.99
Size: Medium
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Stronger potato flavor than original version. Still second place in my heart. Use of sea salt. 0 grams trans fat. Potato skin adds flavor. Nice crispy exterior. Nice soft interior. European nude beaches.
Cons: Not better than McDonald’s fries. Copy and pasting from a press release. The saturated fat from McDonald’s fries preventing Wendy’s fries from becoming my favorite. Me naked at a European nude beach.
The new Tostitos Artisan Recipes Tortilla Chips don’t sound like an awesome chip to snack on while watching the Houston Texans completely collapse during the last moments of a game. Instead, its name sounds like they should be served on a platter at a book club meeting in someone’s living room, or at an orgy.
However, if it were named Tostitos Extreme Recipe Tortilla Chips, then I could see them being a great snack to nosh on while watching the Miami Heat be an underwhelming basketball team. Although, the chips are made from a nine grain blend, which makes them sound like they should be served in Oprah’s green room.
The Tostitos Artisan Recipes Tortilla Chips come in two flavors: Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic and Black Bean. A one-ounce serving size has 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of protein and minuscule amounts of vitamins and minerals.
Where was the Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal when I wanted to create the illusion that I had some culinary skills so I could impress a woman?
Instead, I had to plate a Stouffer’s lasagna in a way that made it look like it wasn’t a Stouffer’s lasagna.
I also had to make my kitchen look like I did some actual cooking in it by having a dish rack full of items I would use if I had made the lasagna, an empty lasagna noodle box in the trash, a slightly warm oven, a half used block of mozzarella cheese in the fridge and a few tomato sauce spots on my kitchen counter that I “missed” while cleaning up.
Heck, I had to buy a casserole dish so I could plop the Stouffer’s lasagna into it. On top of that, in an attempt to gain pity points, I cut myself with a knife on purpose to make it appear like I injured myself while cooking. Who knew pretending to make a lasagna would be as hard as making a lasagna?
But, sadly, all that effort didn’t even get me to first base with her. I might as well have taken her to Chuck E. Cheese, because it would’ve gotten the same result, but at least I would’ve had the opportunity to play in a pit of balls. Maybe I didn’t get to first base because she knew it was a Stouffer’s lasagna. Or maybe my yawn/stretch/wrap my arm around her technique was creepy because my hand accidentally landed on her boob.
Oh wait, I just realized I got to second base with her. YES! I can now add this to my sexual conquests diary.
While I never saw her again and never heard from her after leaving a message on her voice mail every day for a month, perhaps I can accidentally get to third base with next woman if I pretend to make the Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal from scratch.
The bagged meal is made up of grilled white meat chicken and spinach with farfalle pasta tossed in a creamy parmesan cheese and garlic sauce. What’s farfalle pasta? It’s one of my trump cards to impress her.
I’ll keep calling it farfalle pasta, until she asks me what it is. Then I’ll say, “Oh, silly me. I thought you knew what farfalle was, because you look like a sophisticated woman. We in the culinary world call it farfalle, but normal people call it bowtie pasta.”
Aw yeah, droppin’ knowledge equals droppin’ panties.
I’ve tried a number of frozen meals for two and almost all of them tend to have small servings, but this Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal makes two ample servings. Preparing it involves stirring the contents of the package in a non-stick skillet with 1/3 cup of milk.
The result is a creamy, tasty dish that makes me appear to have skills in the kitchen. The farfalle pasta came out perfect, the sauce had the right amount of garlic flavor and the spinach provided color to the dish and iron, but the chicken turned out a little dry.
The Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal turned out quite well, which gives me hope that, with my fraudulent culinary skills, I can impress the next woman who begrudgingly agrees to have dinner with me.
(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 package/340 grams (prepared) – 560 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1270 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 40 grams of protein, 25% vitamin A, 4% vitamin C, 45% calcium and 10% iron.)
Item: Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal
Price: $7.99
Size: 24 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty frozen meal. Ample servings. Creamy sauce. Pasta came out perfect. Getting a woman to have dinner with me. Easy to make. Getting to first, second or third base. Good source of calcium and vitamin A. Awesome source of protein.
Cons: Chicken turned out a little dry. Great source of sodium and saturated fat. Impressing women with fake culinary skills. Not getting a call back after leaving a voice mail message every day for a month.
Update: Click here to read our Wrigley’s 5 Vortex Gum review
Wrigley’s 5 Gum is marketed to teens and since they were introduced a few years ago, the flavors available have grown at a rate equal to the number of Real Housewives shows. Because teen tastes change more often than Lady Gaga changes outfits during a concert, it’s easy to see why Wrigley’s continues to pump out new flavors of their gum that comes in cool black boxes.
Their soon-to-be latest will be the juicy green apple-flavored Wrigley’s 5 Vortex. It’s the second straight fruit-flavored gum for the Wrigley’s 5 Gum line. Vortex follows the watermelon-flavored Prism.
The sugar-free gum will come in the standard 15 piece packs.
