What are Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls?

After being brought back from the snack graveyard in 2018, the least appetizingly named food since Dave’s Hot and Juicy, Planters Cheez Balls, now come in White Cheddar!

How are they?

That exclamation point is about as much excitement as you’re gonna get from this review because these stink, exclamation point.

I remember liking Planters Cheez Balls as a kid, but I guess it was just faux nostalgia, or “fauxstalgia” as no one says.

The white cheddar flavor pales in comparison to basically every other white cheddar flavored snack on the market. I’m not kidding. It’s weak, and the flavor dust seems to melt away almost instantly.

If the flavor is bad, I gotta say, the texture is worse. These fall somewhere between slightly stale Cheetos and Cap’n Crunch cereal. I thought I would still inhale ’em despite all this, but I barely ate a quarter of the canister.

I might string the rest up like little snowballs and hang em on the tree, but I’m not sure I wanna smell the odd scent they emit.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Every time I ate more than a couple at a time, I got an almost fishy finishing taste. There’s nothing good going on here.

I picked up the original flavor too, and the aforementioned no one was right – it was fauxstalgia. They stink slightly less than white cheddar.

Now I’m terrified Planters might reboot my favorite childhood snack, PB Crisps. I consider them the GOAT, and I don’t think I can handle them not living up to that standard.

With that said, I still need them back in my life, so make it happen Planters.

Conclusion:

There are so many better cheese snacks to buy over these. There are also so many better Planters products to buy over these. Don’t let the marketing fool you. These aren’t Crystal Pepsi. These aren’t Ecto Cooler. Your memory has deceived you. Don’t even bother.

Since this review was a little on the scathing side, I’d like to end with a joke.

Why does Mr. Peanut walk with a cane?

Because he has Planter Fasciitis!

Alright, that joke was cheesier than the actual cheez balls.

BRING BACK PB CRISPS!

Purchased Price: $1.66
Size: 2.75 oz. container
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.