There comes a day in all novelty junk food reviewers’ lives when we must make the ultimate sacrifice for our craft. We boldly dash past others’ disgusted faces to taste the impossible snacks. We tackle the foods whose descriptions elicit not a single human response of “that sounds edible.”
Today is that day for me.
Eight months after reading about the release in China of Oreo cookies with Spicy Chicken Wing and Wasabi creme filling, I finally gave in to morbid curiosity and vastly overpaid to have a small box of each flavor make the 7,800-mile journey to my home – just so I could say I’d done it, and of course, to write about it.
I wasn’t completely convinced these Oreo cookies would be disasters. While most people turn their noses up at chicken-flavored snacks, I am drawn to anything that tastes like it was dipped in pulverized bouillon cubes (see Chicken in a Biskit crackers, Chicken & Waffles Lay’s Chips, and Chicken Pretz sticks).
We’ve also seen enough hot spice creep into candy recently that wasabi isn’t THAT much of a stretch. I had high hopes that these cookies would smash people’s expectations and be delicious. Okay, maybe not high hopes…a glimmer of hope?
I went for the Wasabi Oreo first. The smell inside the package was slightly cocoa – not at the usual Oreo level – and a faint trace of an earthy something. The first flavor to hit my taste buds was the chocolate, and again, not nearly as sweet as the O.G. American Oreo.
The wasabi jumped in immediately after, with a big flavor but just a tinge of heat – around a 3 (keeping in mind I’m a spicy wussy). The biggest problem was that the tastes clashed. It was the food equivalent of playing Slayer and Carpenters songs simultaneously – two things that shouldn’t go together, working independently to make an all-around unpleasant experience. I had no desire to take a second bite.
And because one must always save the best for last, it was Spicy Chicken Wing’s turn. I was greeted by the familiar and comforting aroma of powdered poultry, and was ready to be enraptured. A cocoa scent was almost unnoticeable.
The flavor was the expected salty, fake chicken, but like the wasabi cookies, it did not work at all with the chocolate cookie. I usually love a salty/sweet combo, but these were too different to do either taste justice. I wondered if they would be better with a vanilla cookie and less salt. There was heat present, but even less than the wasabi filling. The worst part of the experience, however, was the greasy slick it left behind in my mouth that still haunts me.
Saying these cookies were bad doesn’t quite cover it. This was the first time in my life that I ate less than a single Oreo in a sitting. I ate half a package of Swedish Fish Oreo when it came out, fercryinoutloud. Unless you have the neurotic compulsion to try ALL the Oreo flavors (like me), don’t bother with these.
Purchased Price: $9.36 each (+ free shipping)
Size: 97g box (10 cookies)
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Wasabi)
Rating: 1 out of 10 (Spicy Chicken Wing)
Nutrition Facts: (per 100g) Wasabi – 486 calories, 21.6 grams of fat, 580 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, and 26 grams of protein. Spicy Chicken Wing – 486 calories, 21.6 grams of fat, 580 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, and 26 grams of protein.
