The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Reign Total Body Fuel by Monster Energy

Marvo / April 17, 2019 / Reviews / 16 Comments

Update 9/12/20: Added Lilikoi Lychee flavor.

In the world of performance energy drinks, there’s one leader — Bang. In the world of energy drinks, there is one leader — I don’t know who that is and I’m too lazy to look it up. If only there were drinks I could consume to give me some energy to do so.

It could be Red Bull. It could be Monster. Maybe Rockstar. Maybe Cocaine Energy Drink? But Monster is one of the heavy hitters in the energy drink universe.

So what are “performance energy drinks”? From what I can gather, they’re made for athletes to give them big boosts of energy that allow them to do things at a higher level. In order to do that, they have 300 milligrams of caffeine per can and contain supplements like coenzyme Q10 and branched-chain-amino acids.

While Bang is in the lead, Monster hopes to gain market share with its new Reign Total Body Fuel line. Yes, it’s not Monster Total Body Fuel, because who wants to use a well-recognized trademark over a name that sounds like a mobile game with lots of in-app purchases.

So Monster could have dipped its toes in the category, but it decided to make a splash by offering SIX flavors of Reign — Carnival Candy, Melon Mania, Lemon HDZ, Peach Fizz, Sour Apple, and Razzle Berry. They all have 300 milligrams of caffeine, 0 grams of sugar, 0 calories, no artificial colors (yes, they’re all clear), and no artificial flavors. In 2020, Lilikoi Lychee was added.

Lilikoi Lychee

(Added 9/12/20)

For those unfamiliar with lilikoi, perhaps you know it from its common name — passion fruit. For those unfamiliar with lychee, it’s quite possibly one of the most incredible fruits Mother Nature has given us. If you haven’t had it, you should definitely try it. Of course, my thoughts about the red flesh fruit might be hyperbole to some, but it’s one tasty fruit and a flavor that’s rarely seen in U.S. beverages, so I’m happy to see it in this.

The first sip has a sweet and robust lychee flavor that tastes like the perfect lychee. It’s divine. The lilikoi lingers somewhere in there, but all I care about is that lychee. Unfortunately, like some other Reign flavors, the next sip is less potent, but the lilikoi seems to be highlighted more. Again, if I give my taste buds a chance to reset themselves, the bold lychee flavor comes back.

Because of my love for lychee and how it dominates this flavor, I have to say that this is now my favorite Reign variety.

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 230 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Carnival Candy

When I took the first sip, I got a lot of cotton candy flavor, but that went away with the sips right after. Those had more of a general sweetness. There’s a little cotton candy in the aftertaste, but I want it whenever I’m drinking it because when it’s there, it’s quite lovely.

Now if you let your taste buds reset and not sip on it for a while, the cotton candy flavor will return briefly for that one sip and then go back to not tasting like the carnival treat. I have to say this was the one variety I was most looking forward to and it ended up being a little disappointing.

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Sour Apple

This flavor has the same issue that Carnival Candy has. The first sip tastes like sour apple, but subsequent sips lose most of the apple flavoring, leaving a sweet and tart taste. But, again, let your taste buds rest a little, and the full fruity and sourness comes back for one sip. The sour apple flavor is good, but I wish it’s around for every sip.

Melon Mania

I was hoping this would be flavored like either a cantaloupe or honeydew melon because the world needs more of those, but the can’s color scheme makes it obvious it’s going to be watermelon. If you’re expecting it to taste similar to a Jolly Rancher hard candy, it’s not like that says my taste buds who are currently enjoying a watermelon Jolly Rancher because we just so happen to have some in our house. It’s better tasting than that. It’s like an enhanced version of watermelon flavoring.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Lemon HDZ

Because I’m uncool, I wasn’t sure what HDZ was, but I asked our Twitter followers, and they came up with the obvious answer — Heads. (Full disclosure: I thought it was Hards.) I thought this one would be like a lemonade, but it’s not quite that because there isn’t a noticeable sourness to it. I want to say lemon meringue because there’s something else to the flavor that I can’t quite put my finger on. Despite not knowing what it exactly tastes like, I enjoyed it.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Peach Fizz

If you enjoy peach-flavored gummies, then you’ll like this. It’s not overly flowery tasting like some peach products are. Its flavor reminded me of the Red Bull Peach Edition I had recently. Peach Fizz is my favorite of the bunch, but not by a lot over Melon Mania. (Update 9/12/20: It’s no longer my favorite. See Lilikoi Lychee.)

Razzle Berry

This one tastes similar to other blue raspberry-flavored beverages I’ve had in that it’s fruity and slightly sour. It also reminds me of Carnival Candy, so some of the same natural flavors might’ve been used. Fortunately, unlike Carnival Candy, Razzle Berry’s flavor doesn’t fade with the second sip. As someone who enjoys Louie-Bloo Raspberry Otter Pops, it’s not surprising I liked the taste of this.

Even with the issues I experienced with some of the flavors, I have to say these were surprisingly good for drinks with zero sugar and calories. As someone who has consumed a lot of beverages sweetened with sucralose and ace-K, I could tell they have no sugar, but the flavors do great at hiding that fact.

Some of you might be wondering how these help with performance. I did not test that because the most laborious physical activity I do is an exercise called finger push-downs, which is otherwise known as typing.

Purchased Price: $2.99 each
Size: 16 fl. oz. cans
Purchased at: Target

SPOTTED – 4/17/2019

Marvo / April 17, 2019 / Spotted on Shelves

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

*Old Dutch Limited Edition Sloppy Joe Potato Chips*

*Old Dutch Limited Edition Seasoned Salt Popcorn*

(Spotted by Rachel T at Woodman’s Markets.)

Nature s Own Perfectly Crafted Thick Sliced Brioche Style Bread — *Nature’s Own Perfectly Crafted Thick Sliced Brioche Style Bread*

(Spotted by @ReneBarba89 at Walmart.)

*Sprouts Organic Reduced Sugar Cocktail Sauce*

(Spotted by Sarah R at Sprouts.)

*Ibericos Tapas Style Grilled Artichoke Halves*

(Spotted by Sarah R at Trader Joe’s.)

*Applegate Naturals Charcuterie Plate Uncured Genoa Salami, Medium Cheddar Cheese, Roasted Salted Almonds, and Dark Chocolate Chunks*

(Spotted by Sarah R at Sprouts and Sylvia at Vons.)

Cascadian Farm Organic Hearty Blend Brown Rice Corn Black Beans and Red Bell Peppers — *Cascadian Farm Organic Hearty Blend Brown Rice, Corn, Black Beans and Red Bell Peppers*

Cascadian Farm Organic Hearty Blend Farro Broccoli Carrots Chickpeas — *Cascadian Farm Organic Hearty Blend Farro, Broccoli, Carrots & Chickpeas*

(Spotted by Sarah R at Sprouts.)

*Twisted Ranch Mango Spiked Habanero Dressing*

We covered the other flavors last month. (Spotted by Bob K at Giant Eagle and Robbie at Walmart Neighborhood Market.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if the product is old, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Rainbow Nerds Dessert Toppers

Marvo / April 16, 2019 / Spotted on Shelves / 8 Comments

More Dessert Toppers. Although, unlike the others, I can’t imagine these tasting good on other ice cream flavors besides vanilla. (Spotted by Robbie at Walmart Neighborhood Market.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if the product is old, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake

Marvo / April 16, 2019 / Spotted on Shelves / 2 Comments

Did you know Cool Whip turns 53 years old this year? (Spotted by Megan D at ShopRite.)

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if the product is old, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Triscuit Woven with Seeds Crackers

Marvo / April 16, 2019 / Reviews / 2 Comments

Triscuit has a new line of crackers with seeds in them. Yes, IN them and not as a topping for fancy Triscuit recipes that has ingredients that aren’t readily available in most home kitchens.

How are they made? Simply. That’s what the side of the box says — Made Simply. The process, which is also on the side of the box goes like this: cook the wheat, shred and weave the wheat together with seeds, and bake to golden perfection. Okay, I still don’t understand how it’s done, but it probably involves patents and something proprietary.

The woven with seeds line debuted with three varieties: Woven with Poppy Seeds Garlic & Onion, Woven with Quinoa Seeds Basil & Garlic, and Woven with Chia Seeds Rosemary & Jalapeño.

Triscuit Woven with Poppy Seeds Garlic & Onion

I’ve eaten enough garlic and onion in my life to know what they taste like and how far away others should stay away from me after I’ve eaten either of the two pungent ingredients. So I’m confident when I say these crackers taste cheesy.

Maybe combining the two creates something like a primary colors scenario where the primary flavors of garlic and onion create a secondary flavor — cheesy. Okay, at times, the garlic comes out, but these taste cheesy to me, which is fine because they’re still tasty.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 8 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (6 crackers) 120 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

Triscuit Woven with Quinoa Seeds Basil & Garlic

One sniff of these and I knew the basil would be strong. My nose let my taste buds know, and after eating one, my taste buds confirmed it to my nose, who did a few nostril pumps to celebrate.

The garlic lingers in the background. Sometimes I can taste it, but most times I can’t. The basil is the dominant flavor, probably because of its strong aroma. The cracker is as tasty as the others, but this is the only one that makes me want to dip it in olive oil and cracked pepper at a Macaroni Grill.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 8 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (6 crackers) 120 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

Triscuit Woven with Chia Seeds Rosemary & Jalapeno

If you’re hoping for a spicy Triscuit, these are not the crackers you’re looking for. If you want that, I’m sure Triscuit has a recipe it can recommend you. There’s a heat tickle that builds up after eating a few, but it’s not something that has me reaching for a room temperature glass of water.

Rosemary and jalapeño seem like an odd combination to me, but the two work together, and they’re the only duo of this bunch that I could taste both ingredients. The rosemary is the most noticeable, causing the crackers’ aroma to remind me of a roasted chicken. But jalapeño lets your taste buds know it’s there with its heat tickles and pepperiness. There’s also a slight sweetness that helps cut through the two main tastes.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 8 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (6 crackers) 120 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

All three are tasty savory crackers, but I’m not sure the woven seeds do anything other than make these more appealing to birds and cause all three to look very similar. How similar? Let me just say the photos of the actual crackers aren’t embedded in the appropriate sections of the review. Or am I lying about that? You can’t tell because they look so damn alike.

I thought they’d add a different crunchy texture, but Triscuit have always been super crunchy, so I imagine its hard for the seeds to stand out. The only times I notice the crunch of the seeds is when they get unwoven from the wheat, hang out between my teeth, eventually come loose long after I’ve swallowed the wheat, and end up as a post-snack snack. I also thought they might provide some nuttiness, but the seasoning used on each cracker is potent enough to mask whatever flavor they have.

*I totally switched photos. The first one is the Rosemary & Jalapeño, the second one is Garlic & Onion, and the last one is Basil & Garlic.

Crackers Triscuit

REVIEW: Reign Total Body Fuel by Monster Energy

Lilikoi Lychee

Carnival Candy

Sour Apple

Melon Mania

Lemon HDZ

Peach Fizz

Razzle Berry

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SPOTTED – 4/17/2019

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SPOTTED: Rainbow Nerds Dessert Toppers

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SPOTTED: Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake

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REVIEW: Triscuit Woven with Seeds Crackers

Triscuit Woven with Poppy Seeds Garlic & Onion

Triscuit Woven with Quinoa Seeds Basil & Garlic

Triscuit Woven with Chia Seeds Rosemary & Jalapeno

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