The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Hostess Chocolate Cake Twinkies

March 2, 2017January 10, 2021 Adam 14 Comments

From the dawn of prepackaged snack good creation, there have been clear lines of evolutionary development. Following the progenitor of all these treats, the Hostess Cupcake created in 1919, diverged the Ho-Ho (1920), Suzy-Q’s (1961), and finally the Ding Dong (1967).

But all of these products pale in comparison to the Twinkie. Engineered in 1930, it not only survived a flavor change in World War II, but also has evolved into one of the most nuanced and copied bakery items in history. And now it’s getting a new modification: chocolate cake.

To be sure, this is not the first time chocolate and Twinkie have tangoed together. The elusive Chocodile beguiled East Coast junk food addicts for years before a 2014 national re-release, while chocolate cream-injected Twinkies make a yearly appearance around Halloween (presumably because Hostess thinks rhyming is a good way to market empty calories).

But never before have we seen this.

The first question I had was “Why?” The second question I had was “Why not?” The third question I had was “Do you know where the toilet paper aisle is?” because I was in an unfamiliar Walmart running errands.

Having conquered my weekly duties, I made sure to rewards myself with the new Chocolate Cake Twinkies. I was unimpressed; shorter and denser than the standard Twinkie, the Chocolate Cake Twinkies had a moist devil’s food crumb that is neither overwhelmingly chocolaty nor excessively dull. It is, as you’d expect from anything Hostess makes, super sweet, so much so that the chocolate becomes a cocoa sidekick to the insane rush of sugar.

While the Twinkies tasted a lot like a chocolate Zinger sans frosting (or every other Hostess chocolate baked good, for that matter) I did find myself missing the chocolate “shell” provided by products like Ho-Hos.

I thought the chocolate might at least make the cream stand out, but this was not the case. If anything, it made my taste buds have less appreciation for the cream, which instead of balancing a rich chocolate sponge cake, mostly just tasted whipped marshmallow cream.

If there’s ever been a less satiating display of chocolate cake outside of this scene in Matilda, this is it. It’s not that the chocolate Twinkies suck, but rather that the essence of a Twinkie has always been it’s light, chiffon-flavored sponge cake filling. It’s what makes people eat them in droves, reference them in legal discourse, and, my personal favorite, put them on pizza. Without the light vanilla cake, the chocolate Twinkie just becomes a Zinger without the frosting, or, worse yet, Ho Hos without its shell.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cakes (77g) – 260 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 2.7 oz./2-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Smells like Cocoa Krispies. Moist cake element. Not as bad for you as eating an entire chocolate cake.
Cons: More of a cocoa than chocolate flavor. Squishy, dense cake texture. No balance with cream element. Tastes exactly like every other Hostess chocolate baked good except without the frosting or shell.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 3/2/2017

March 2, 2017January 10, 2021 Marvo 1 Comment

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Cookie Pop Chocolate Chip Popcorn

What cookie will Cookie Pop do next? It started with Cookies & Cream and then these. Snickerdoodle in the fall? (Spotted by Jessica S at The Andersons.)

Cape Cod Infused Kettle Cooked Potato Chips (Mediterranean and Fresh Jalapeno)

(Spotted by Melody at Meijer.)

Stouffer’s Sauce Duos Tuscan Herb and Teriyaki & Sesame

Stouffer’s Seasoning Wraps Italian Countryside Herb and Lemon Dill

Stouffer’s Seasoning Wraps Roasted Garlic & Lemon and Roasted Tomato Herb

It’s so weird to see Stouffer’s stuff that’s not in the freezer aisle. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Tom Thumb.)

Martin’s Old-Fashioned Real Butter Bread

I don’t even know what modern fake butter bread tastes like. (Spotted by Rebecca W at Price Chopper.)

Voortman Bakery Cinnamon Bun Wafers

Voortman Bakery Strawberry Banana Wafers

Voortman Bakery Blueberry Wafers

Suck it, Ruger! (Spotted by Rachel C at Macey’s.)

Luna Salted Caramel Cashew Bars

Luna Cinnamon Almond Swirl Bars

Luna Chocolate Walnut Fudge Protein Bars

(Spotted by Noreen at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Limited Edition Strawberry Nut M&M’s

March 1, 2017January 10, 2021 Marvo 2 Comments

Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review.

This brings back memories of Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s. (Spotted by Rachel C at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: 2017 Walgreens Exclusive Jamaican Jerk and Cheddar BBQ Pringles

March 1, 2017January 10, 2021 Marvo

I’ve seen Jamaican jerk flavoring used for a number of products, but I have no idea what it is. Thanks to Wikipedia, I’ve learned it’s usually allspice and Scotch bonnet peppers, but may also include cloves, cinnamon, scallions, nutmeg, thyme, garlic, brown sugar, ginger, and salt. Well, my culinary IQ just went up a point. It’s now at 4. (Spotted by Sean S at Walgreens.)

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Urban Bourbon Ice Cream

March 1, 2017January 10, 2021 Marvo 5 Comments

Despite having bourbon in its name, there’s no alcohol in Ben & Jerry’s Urban Bourbon Ice Cream. That’s a good thing because if it did and parents unknowingly fed their children the ice cream, I imagine some of the kids will become emotional drunks and start shouting things like “Why don’t you love me, dad?” or “I love you, Dora the Explorer!”

Some of you might think not having alcohol in Urban Bourbon takes the fun out of the flavor, but there’s still a lot of fun to be had. The new Ben & Jerry’s concoction has burnt caramel ice cream with almonds, fudge flakes, and bourbon caramel swirls.

See. Fun.

The bourbon caramel swirl was the best part of the pint and I enjoyed it so much that, even though I don’t drink, I’d drink it if it had alcohol. Now I’m not writing this to make me sound sophisticated, but I thought the bourbon had a nice woodsy flavor and it paired marvelously with the gooey caramel. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must tend to my collection of exotic birds.

Speaking of great pairings, the swirl goes well with the burnt caramel ice cream. Although, I have to admit I’m not sure I taste the ice cream’s burntness. Instead it had a normal caramel flavor that’s almost too mild. Although that’s good because if it had a strong caramel flavor, it combined with the caramel in the swirl would’ve overwhelmed the bourbon flavor.

The almond slivers added nothing flavor-wise. They had a coconut-like texture, which was kind of a turnoff for me. But, fortunately, my pint didn’t have a lot of them. However, there were A LOT of fudge flakes. Perhaps too many. At first, they were fine. But at a point I felt they got between me and my favorite ingredient. In the end, I shoving them to the side just so I could be alone with the not-burnt caramel ice cream and swirl.

While I mostly enjoyed the ice cream, I could understand how the bourbon caramel swirl’s slight astringent taste might turn off some. If that happens, I’ll gladly take yours from you because my pint didn’t have enough of them. This made me as angry as a bar patron who got cut off by the bartender because they’re so drunk that they’re yelling things like “Why don’t you love me, dad?”

Of course, your pints may vary. But if it doesn’t, feel free to yell, “Why don’t you love me, Ben & Jerry’s?”

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 300 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 27 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: The bourbon caramel swirl. The combination of burnt caramel ice cream and bourbon caramel swirl. The mild flavor of the ice cream not getting in the way of the swirl. Using “woodsy” in a review. Dora the Explorer.
Cons: Don’t taste the burnt part of the burnt caramel ice cream. My pint didn’t have a lot of the swirl (your pint may vary). Perhaps too many fudge flakes in my pint. Children accidentally consuming alcohol. Super loud super drunks.

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