ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Writer Brandon

Hello fellow fast-foodies! My name is Brandon and I have been tasked with the immense responsibility of going out into the world and trying so-called junk food. Too long have we lived in a world where the art of food criticism is reserved only to the realm of high-price gourmet. The selections of grocery store snack shelves and fast food windows may be cheap, and they may be mostly controlled by giant multinational companies, but these items deserve our respect!

Okay so maybe I don’t take fast food quite that seriously, but I sure do love indulging in the cheap, naughty, and quick. If you eat a lot of snack/junk food like me you know there is no worse feeling the dropping than dropping $5.50 for Carl’s Jr.’s latest burger offering only to realize that the burger is called the Bacon Threeway, includes bacon jam, and is absolutely disgusting. I throw away unfinished fast food burgers so you don’t have to.

Why I’m doing this? I just love to write, and I love junk food. I love it all, but I guess if I had to choose I’d say my favorite is anything that involves a fried potato. As a native from Boise, Idaho, I feel I have something of a sacred providence over all things potato. A Boise company provides, McDonald’s with all their fries after all.

I have a fine arts degree in creative writing, and when I’m not stuffing fried potatoes into my mouth I’m using the same greasy fingers to write poetry and fiction. So if my review for a bag of potato chips somehow morphs into a short story about the family of oddly shaped potato chips that live in the bag, try to bare with me. I’m sure I can come up with an ending where I brutally murder them all with my molars, so that I can actually explain what they taste like.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Exclusive Villains Edition Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookie Printed Fun Pop-Tarts

Exclusive Villains Edition Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookie Printed Fun Pop-Tarts

Wait a minute. Why is Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookie a “villains” flavor? Shouldn’t it be something like Frosted World DoMINTnation? (Spotted by Amanda Y at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

WEEKEND READING – 12/31/2016

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Here are a few interesting junk food-related stories from the past week or so. Enjoy.

Cerealously Visits the Kellogg’s Archives! (via Cerealously)

A Brief History Of Food Emoji: Why You Won’t Find Hummus On Your Phone (via NPR’s The Salt)

From Jelly Donut Burgers To Fish Stick Pizza: The Year In Stunt Foods (via Consumerist)

Peanut Butter Execs Were Comically Concerned About ‘Aggressive’ Almond Butter (via Motherboard)

Run, Run, Fast As You Can! We’re Smashing Your House, Gingerbread Man (via NPR’s The Salt)

Image via flickr user nathanwberry / CC BY ND 2.0

SPOTTED ON SHELVES (VALENTINES EDITION) – 12/31/2016

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Fries Before Guys Vanilla Marshmallow Fries

Fries Before Guys Vanilla Marshmallow Fries

Fries before guys? Well, two can play at this game. Canals before gals. (Spotted by Rachel C at Target.)

Swedish Fish Hearts

Swedish Fish Hearts

(Spotted by Dave C at Target.)

Brach's Very Berry Conversation Hearts

Brach’s Very Berry Conversation Hearts

Brach's Dessert Hearts Conversation Hearts

Brach’s Dessert Hearts Conversation Hearts

Red Hots Cinnamon Conversation Hearts

Red Hots Cinnamon Conversation Hearts

The conversation I’d like to have is about why there are so many damn conversation hearts. Conversation hearts are the candy corn of Valentine’s Day. (Spotted by Rachel C at WinCo Foods and Target.)

Dove Valentine's Mix Caramel & Milk Chocolate

Dove Valentine’s Mix Caramel & Milk Chocolate

Dove Love Birds Almond & Dark Chocolate

Dove Love Birds Almond & Dark Chocolate

“Valentine’s Mix” means the same candy offered throughout the year, but in Valentine’s Day-colored foil wrappers. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Target.)

Ghirardelli Limited Edition Valentine's Dark & Strawberry Squares

Ghirardelli Limited Edition Valentine’s Dark & Strawberry Squares

Ghirardelli Limited Edition Valentine's Dark Chocolate Strawberry Squares

Ghirardelli Limited Edition Valentine’s Dark Chocolate Strawberry Squares

These aren’t new, but I felt it was my duty to let you know the Ghirardelli Limited Edition Valentine’s Dark & Strawberry Squares are at Target and the Ghirardelli Limited Edition Valentine’s Dark Chocolate Strawberry Squares are at Walmart. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Target and Dave C at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Hostess Limited Edition Valentine Ding Dongs

Hostess Limited Edition Valentine Ding Dongs

You’re a ding dong if you give Hostess Limited Edition Valentine Ding Dongs to your significant other for Valentine’s Day. (Spotted by Carla at Walmart.)\

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.