The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Hostess Deep Fried Banana Twinkies

December 15, 2016January 7, 2021 Vin 2 Comments

Before I start, I have one simple request.

Every time you see the words “Deep Fried Banana Twinkies” in this review, read it in a sensual Barry White-esque voice. Pump some smooth bedroom music through your speaker to set the mood. If by the end you don’t want a box of Deep Fried Banana Twinkies, you might not be human.

What? Oh come on, don’t make it weird. You’re making it weird.

You made it weird. Forget it. Read the words normally. It’s a free country.

Despite having one of just about everything under the sun fried, this was my first *flicks on romantic tune* Deep. Fried. Ba-na-na. Twinkie. Awww, yeahhhh. Okay, I’ll stop.

I cooked said Twinkie in the oven (which is recommended) but you can also use a toaster oven, or deep fry them again. I’m not going to judge.

Out of the box the Twinkies look like potato croquettes. Maybe even a fat chicken tender. That sight messed with my mind a bit. I started to think I was all set to have a savory snack.

After a couple minutes, I made a cooking faux pas and opened the stove to get a whiff. I’d say there was almost a churro-like aroma. Nice.

I took it out at the seven minute mark, which ended up being perfect. The cake was just hot enough to differ from a normal Twinkie, and the cream wasn’t like molten lava.

Deep Fried Banana Twinkies are breaded in a graham cracker coating, and maybe it was my mind playing games with me, but that portion almost tasted savory in the end. There was a serious lack of sweetness before the banana cream hit.

The familiar sponge cake is still underneath, and the overall texture was okay, if not a little doughy. I now understand why I’ve seen fried Twinkies smothered in syrup or powdered sugar at county fairs. It needed another sweet element.

I wondered if the warmth might ruin the taste of the banana cream, but it was just like a normal Banana Twinkie. Still, there wasn’t enough to overpower the graham and sponge cake’s lack of sweetness. Next time I eat one, I’ll probably drop a dollop of chocolate syrup on top.

Look, it sounds like I’m complaining, but the graham cracker did give the Twinkie a nice outer crisp. It just wasn’t particularly flavorful. It also had an odd aftertaste, but I actually think the fried sponge cake was the culprit there.

Regular Deep Fried Twinkies have a funnel cake coating, and now I’m kinda bummed I didn’t get those. That just sounds better.

In the end, the outer fried portion wasn’t sweet enough, and probably too doughy, but once the cream hit, Deep Fried Banana Twinkies are still pretty good. They’re definitely worth a try.

I will say that the price is ridiculous, and as an Impatient American (I’m the Union President) I don’t love the idea of waiting for an oven to preheat, 6-8 minutes to cook, and two minute to cool off before eating a snack cake. Yeah, I enjoy a homemade cookie or brownie, but that’s a different mindset. You want a Twinkie? Open a box and eat a Twinkie. Who has time for this waiting nonsense?

If the graham coating was tastier and the price was lower, these could become a snack I regularly keep in the freezer, but for now I probably won’t go back unless they put out some crazy flavor concoctions in the future. Awwww yeahhhh, baby.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cake – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 7 cakes/box
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Banana Cream never fails. Nice outer crisp. Fried Fair Food Fare. Barry White voice. Potato Croquettes.
Cons: Graham cracker not flavorful enough. Expensive. Time consuming. “Dollop” is my least favorite word in the English language. Funnel Cake > Graham Cracker.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 12/15/2016

December 15, 2016March 7, 2023 Marvo

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Teddy Grahams Cinnamon (2016 Design)

It’s just a new bear, not a new flavor. I’m posting this photo because I wanted to show how the new bear is similar to the old bear. They both don’t use their opposable thumbs to hold the Teddy Graham in their hands. (Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

Franz Limited Edition Gingerbread Streusel Bread

Before this year, I’ve never heard of Franz. But this year we posted three limited edition bread flavors from the company. Now I will never forget them. (Spotted by Carla at Walmart.)

Giant Limited Time Originals Holiday Spice Cranberry Orange Dark Chocolate Bar with Almonds

Giant Limited Time Originals Holiday Spice Cranberry Orange Dark Chocolate Bar with Almonds is a super long name. I wonder what the receipt says when you buy it. GIANT LTO HSCODCBA? (Spotted by Blaire at Giant.)

Sabra Guacamole with Tostitos Rolls

Can you use a Tostitos Roll as a guacamole straw? (Spotted by Blaire at Harris Teeter.)

IKEA MUNSBIT Apple and Strawberry and Apple and Bilberry Fruit Snacks

I Googled “bilberry” for you. You’re welcome. (Spotted by Rachel C at IKEA.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

2016 SEASON OF GIVING (DAY 2): $10 Panda Express Gift Card

December 15, 2016January 7, 2021 Marvo 198 Comments

To be honest, I wanted this to be a $5 Panda Express Gift Card, but $10 was the minimum amount. I guess that makes sense since you can’t really buy much at the fast food chain with that much money. A two-entree plate costs $8, and I think a one-entree bowl is $6.50. Maybe you could buy a lot of fortune cookies with $5. Are the fortune cookies available for purchase?

The biggest release for Panda Express this year was its own version of General Tso’s Chicken, an iconic American Chinese dish. The chain also introduced a new shrimp dish, the Pacific Chili Shrimp, not an iconic American Chinese dish.

RULES:

To enter this prize drawing for a $10 Panda Express Gift Card, leave a comment with THIS post. You can write whatever you want, but please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winner for his or her mailing address.

We will stop accepting entries on December 16, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Hawaii Standard Time (2:00 a.m. Pacific, 5:00 a.m. Eastern). Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s only open to U.S. residents 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

FINE PRINT: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails that ask for your help with a transaction from a Ivoirien national. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you donation solicitation letters from a non-profit you gave to five years ago. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or damaged mail.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Chobani Flip Coffee Brownie Bliss Greek Yogurt

December 14, 2016March 7, 2023 Marvo 5 Comments

I wasn’t a fan of Chobani’s coffee yogurt, but I want to try this. Its description on the lid makes it hard to resist. (Spotted by Rachel C at Smiths.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Toasted Marshmallow Milano Cookies

December 14, 2016January 7, 2021 Ben

I’m starting to think I might have the wrong mailing address for Santa Claus.

You see, twenty years ago, I sent Santa a letter asking for a Super Soaker CPS 2000. All of the kids in my neighborhood were getting one, so I just had to get one too. I’d be blasting my friends in the face with ice cold water in no time!

But there was one problem…the Super Soaker CPS 2000 never came. Surely there was just a mistake at the North Pole Postal Service—they’re very busy during this time of year. So every December since, I’ve written Santa a letter asking for a brand new Super Soaker CPS 2000. You’re probably thinking, “Ben, you loser, you’re an adult! You can’t go around playing with Super Soakers, even if you do get one.” Ha! The joke’s on you. I’m a grown male who still writes letters to Santa Claus. Do you really expect me to care about what people think of me playing with a Super Soaker? Who’s the loser now?

Just to make sure Santa stops by my house this year, I’ll be leaving him these new Pepperidge Farm Toasted Marshmallow Milano Cookies. I hope Santa isn’t a s’mores lover; these cookies aren’t made to include any graham flavor whatsoever. Instead, Toasted Marshmallow Milano cookies are just regular Milano cookies with an additional marshmallow-flavored layer.

Well, at least I think there’s an additional marshmallow-flavored layer. Toasted Marshmallow Milano cookies have a sugary, creamy flavor to them, but it’s hard to tell whether that’s distinctly “marshmallow” or if it’s just coming from the milk chocolate layer. Either way, it’s certainly not toasted. I’m not saying Pepperidge Farm had to dip each of these cookies in liquid smoke — that would actually be pretty disgusting — but with a name like “Toasted Marshmallow,” I would hope that these Milano cookies could have some semblance of being toasted.

I searched for a toasted flavor in the cookie, too. No luck. It’s just the same standard Milano cookie, like a lighter shortbread. Its rich, floury-yet-buttery flavor is good, but it dominates the overall flavor of the cookie. Aside from a few lucky bites, the cookie tends to overpower the flavors within — and that is the real problem with Toasted Marshmallow Milano cookies. You can taste “marshmallow” and milk chocolate, but never together. In short, these cookies are pretty good, but not nearly as great as they could have been.

If the last twenty years have taught me anything, it’s how to deal with failed expectations. But as Pepperidge Farm just taught me, two can play that game.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 7 oz. package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Marshmallow and milk chocolate layers are sweet and creamy. Familiar rich, buttery cookie. Learning life lessons. The North Pole Postal Service.
Cons: Not toasted. Shortbread cookie dominates the overall flavor. Still wishing for a Super Soaker CPS 2000. Passive-aggressively leaving one cookie for Santa Claus.

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