It’s about time McDonald’s started using some high quality meats in their products. The people have yet to see a Big Mac made with Kobe beef and we’re still waiting for a McRib made from Berkshire pork.
But there’s hope. McDonald’s has recently begun producing sandwiches using the finest buffalo ranch McChicken. The McChickens are raised from a young age in the illustrious buffalo ranches of McDonaldland, where they are fed a steady diet of hotcakes, hash browns, and last season’s unsold Fish McBites. The free-range McChickens wander the fields alongside the McBuffalo herd. The gentle grunts of the neighboring bison help soothe the McChickens and subsequently make their meat delicious. (Don’t ask for more details, the system just works.)
New to McDonald’s “Dollar Menu & More” is the Buffalo Ranch McChicken sandwich. For a single dollar, the hungry customer can receive a McChicken patty smothered in Buffalo sauce and ranch sauce, topped with lettuce, and wedged between two buns. (The last time I had chicken wedged between my buns, I had to go to the hospital.)
For a whole dollar more, the customer can upgrade their sandwich with the addition of Applewood smoked bacon. I’m a cheapskate, so I chose to forego the bacon.
Unfortunately, the slack-jawed, acne-stricken teenagers running my local McDonald’s drive-thru are completely incompetent. Although I ordered a “Buffalo Ranch McChicken,” they gave me a “Bacon Buffalo Ranch McChicken” and charged me the additional dollar. They were probably too busy watching Saved By The Bell and playing with their Super Nintendos to notice. (That’s what kids do these days, right?)
Thus, I was forced to leave the comfort of my car to place my order inside the restaurant. I informed the adolescent at the counter that 1. I wanted to eat a Buffalo Ranch McChicken sandwich, not a Bacon Buffalo Ranch McChicken, and 2. It’s false advertising to call the sandwich a “Buffalo Ranch” McChicken when the chickens aren’t actually raised on a buffalo ranch in McDonaldland.
When I finally received my Buffalo Ranch McChicken, I unwrapped the packaging to find a quite miserable looking sandwich. The buns looked particularly pathetic. And I’m always sensitive about my pathetic buns.
Fortunately, the sandwich’s flavor was far from miserable. The Buffalo sauce provided a medium heat which fully complemented the taste of the McChicken patty. The spice was nowhere near overwhelming. However, the ranch sauce failed to contribute much flavor, only serving to smother a bit of the heat from the Buffalo sauce. Neither sauce was too abundant nor too scarce, but balanced in proportion.
The inclusion of lettuce seemed completely pointless, much like reading the nutrition facts on a McDonald’s menu. (Face it, people. If you’re at a McDonald’s, you’re not calorie conscious.) It provided little flavor and textural improvement to the sandwich. I feel that the lettuce was purely for show, and could have been excluded altogether.
For just a dollar, the Buffalo Ranch McChicken is worth it. The ranch sauce and lettuce might seem mediocre, but the balanced heat of the Buffalo sauce with the McChicken patty make for one heck of a bargain sandwich.
But I must be honest. After tasting both the Buffalo Ranch McChicken and the Bacon Buffalo Ranch McChicken, it’s clear that the addition of bacon really improves the sandwich. The crisp texture in combination with the smokiness of the pork really works well with the sandwich’s Buffalo chicken flavor. Sadly, paying double the price of the sandwich solely for the inclusion of cured meat doesn’t seem worth it.
For those interested parties, I am putting together a petition to bring before Mayor McCheese of McDonaldland that would require McDonald’s to use authentic buffalo ranch McChicken meat in their products. I already have the endorsements of the Hamburglar and the four-armed Grimace. Ronald wants nothing to do with it.
(Nutrition Facts – 350 calories, 130 calories from fat, 15 grams of total fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 980 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugars, and 14 grams of protein.)
Item: McDonald’s Buffalo Ranch McChicken
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: McChickens raised on buffalo ranches. Only one dollar. Balanced heat.
Cons: Pathetic buns. Ranch provides little flavor. Lettuce is useless.
