REVIEW: Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Cereal

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Kellogg's Chocolate Krave

Like so many 20-somethings, I often feel like I’m not a girl, not yet a woman. I have my own job, apartment, and 401k, but I also still play video games, don’t know how to sew buttons back on my shirts, and am totally fine with appropriating Britney Spears lyrics to describe my existential circumstances.

I think my relationship with breakfast cereal is emblematic of this condition of emerging adulthood. I’ve finally realized that two cups of coffee don’t pass as breakfast for proper, health-minded adults, so I dutifully eat some Shredded Wheat or Kashi most mornings. But anytime I have ready access to children’s cereals, I’ll spend all day plotting my next foray into the break room for another bowl of sugary goodness.

(Last year, I lived across the street from my office, and if I ever saw Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the break room late in the week, I’d go into work on the weekends for breakfast. I once got into the elevator with a coworker on a Saturday morning, and I felt compelled to stick around for an hour pretending to have non-Cinnamon Toast Crunch-related business to handle so he wouldn’t think I was a huge weirdo like all of you do right now.)

All of this is a very roundabout way of asking: does Kellogg’s new Krave Chocolate Cereal pass muster as an adult cereal? Before actually eating any, I ran through the evidence:

Uh, it’s CHOCOLATE for breakfast. Not adult.

That being said, it’s actually not bad, health-wise – whole grains, no high fructose corn syrup, and less sugar than a lot of other cereals. Adult.

Kooky fonts on the box and krazy spelling in the name. Not adult.

Absence of an anthropomorphic animal mascot. Adult.

There’s a visual on the official website of an anthropomorphic piece of Krave cereal that, judging by the chocolate around its mouth and its “CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE YUM YUM” sign, may have recently committed an unspeakable act of cannibalism while serving on a picket line of some sort. Unclear, but kind of disturbing.

Based on my completely arbitrary set of criteria, there’s no definitive proof that Krave is an adult cereal. That also means there’s no definitive proof that it’s not an adult cereal, so I will proceed to the review with no qualms about setting back my slow march towards adulthood once again.

A very pleasant smell of chocolate wafted out as soon as I opened the bag. Each piece of cereal was a bit larger than a Chex, and many pieces either had flecks of chocolate on the outside or were somehow transparent enough for me to see the chocolate on the inside.

Kellogg's Chocolate Krave Innards

I started by eating a couple pieces dry. Krave is crunchy without being exceedingly so (think Chex or Lays potato chips rather than Cap’n Crunch or kettle chips), and the outer shell’s lightly crunchy texture and its lightly sweetened taste work well together. I was disappointed at first with the amount of the signature ingredient — when I bit pieces in half, I could see that there was relatively little chocolate within the shells, and the taste of chocolate in each individual piece was underwhelming, too.

Kellogg's Chocolate Krave Closeup

However, when I added milk to a full bowl of Krave and ate whole spoonfuls, the chocolate flavor began to shine. Each bite tasted more chocolaty than the last, yet at no point did it ever get to be too chocolaty. (Sidenote: did you know Microsoft spellcheck will suggest “chocolatier” instead of “more chocolaty”? And then tell you that “chocolatier” is not actually a word?) I also detected a slight hint of hazelnut, though the list of ingredients actually makes no mention of that. The cereal retained its crunchiness fairly well in the milk, but I was irritated that none of the chocolate leaked out to provide me with a bowl of chocolate milk at the end.

Is Kellogg’s Krave an “adult” cereal? No. Would I pretend to have work to do on a Saturday morning just to eat a bowl? No. Still, I definitely enjoyed it and would recommend you grab a box. Krave doesn’t fit into my adult cereal rotation, nor is it really sweet enough to qualify as a childish indulgence, but Amazon would only sell me Krave in a pack of four. I guess I’ll have to take the adult path of not being wasteful and eat many, many more bowls of Krave in the near future.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamin and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Cereal
Price: $5.00 per box (4-pack for $20)
Size: 11.4 ounce box
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice chocolate smell. Appropriately crunchy. Lightly sweetened. Chocolate flavor builds as you eat more. Retains its crunchiness fairly well in milk. Has whole grains and no high fructose corn syrup. Eating chocolate for breakfast. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Britney Spears’ first album.
Cons: Amount of chocolate may be disappointing if you’re only eating a small serving. Doesn’t leave behind chocolate milk. Kind of pricey, now that I think about it. Amazon not allowing me to buy a single box. Cereal cannibalism. Not living across the street from the office.

NEWS: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet All The Way!

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 4 Comments

Rainbow

Update: Click here to read our Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet review

Every time there’s a new Extra Dessert Delights gum release, I like to break out my crystal ball and try to guess which dessert Extra will copy next. So far I’m 0-for-3, thanks to my crystal ball telling me creme brûlée all three times instead of Orange Creme Pop, Apple Pie, or the new Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet.

According to Extra Gum, this limited edition variety is supposed to capture the flavors of orange, lemon, and lime into one gum. Unfortunately, a stick of Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet doesn’t come in orange, yellow, and green, it’s just colored pink. You can read a review of it at Gum Connoisseur.

So what’s going to be the next Extra Dessert Delights flavor? Let’s look into my crystal ball. I see…I see…I see…creme brûlée.

Oh wait, I already know Root Beer Float is next.

Damn, this crystal ball sucks.

REVIEW: Mello Yello Zero

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Mello Yello Zero

Back when I was in college I drank a lot of Fruitopia and Surge. Surge was Coca-Cola’s answer to Mountain Dew. They even aped the extreme sports campaign of Mountain Dew but no matter, I liked Surge and was impartial to the Mountain. In some stupid way I thought drinking Surge was cooler because it was not as popular as Mountain Dew at my university.

Yeah…I was one of those idiots who felt that if things got popular, they were no longer good. Screaming “sell out” while I had an ill-conceived mohawk and noshing on Asian shrimp flavored snacks. God, if I could go back in time I would kick myself in the ghoulies and then wipe the mud off my Cole Haan’s all over my 1995 version’s face.

“Grow the fuck up kid,” I would shout, grabbing myself by his/my ratty Stereolab t-shirt. Then I would drop me back on the ground and kick me 300-style down a pit. Like a cliché, I would raise my arms in victory to the opus of the Maximum Overdrive soundtrack, AC/DC’s “Who Made Who?”

Anyhow, as time went on I discovered martinis and manhattans. Surge eventually went the way of the Sega Dreamcast, pogs and Tamagotchis (which taught a generation to never have kids or pets because the damn thing was so needy). Around this time I noticed a soft drink with the ugliest logo ever called Mello Yello.

I remember that soda when I was a little kid. More importantly, I remembered the original 70’s logo with the cool bubble letters. It reminded me of the neon Doctor Who emblem with Peter Davison. I didn’t know what this strange font was all about but bought a can anyway because I have always wanted to try it. It was too sweet for my taste and I couldn’t get past that wacky lettering. I forgot it and whenever had a rare craving for a citrus soda, I took to Mountain Dew. It was convenient and readily available.

Recently, the House of Coke added Mello Yello to their successful Zero line. If you have tasted the regular Mello Yello but think it is way too sweet you will be in for a pleasant surprise with the Zero edition. I have tried all of the Zero line and personally, I mostly prefer them over the diet versions. First, they taste almost close to the regular versions. Second, the obvious artificial sweetness found in some of the diet ones are muted in the Zero editions.

I really dislike sodas that are amped up in the sweetness department and was concerned about my last encounter with Yello (the soda, not the band). However with the Zero brand, I had to try it and I think my 1995 counterpart would agree as well. The black can is punched up with the retro 70’s logo. “The original smooth” line purred on the can. It sounds more appropriate as a tagline for a Tarantino flick doesn’t it?

Mello Yello Zero Closeup

I love citrus soft drinks so if you do not, Mello Yello Zero won’t change your mind. Granted I can only drink about one of these every so often because too much of it kills me and I’m now a cola guy. The taste is sweet enough for my preference and not so sugary that it leaves a sticky film on your teeth. Wait, let my 1995 version tell you himself.

Jeff: “Drink this and tell them what you think!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “What? I’m drawing a comic book about goth superheroes… AND this stuff is neon yellow-green like a glow stick that all those ravers dance with, what is this bro? It’s weird looking.”

Jeff: “Shut up and drink it or I’ll rip up your damn Sandman comics autographed by Gaiman!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (sniffs the glass) “Okay, okay, smells of faint lemons but dude, this looks like the Toxic Avenger’s urine test, brah.”

Jeff: “Did I really talk like that? Would you freaking drink it already?”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (takes a cautious sip) “You can taste some kind of citrus fruit and it isn’t overcome by any sweetness. It’s actually refreshing, and a lemon-lime flavor hits the back of your throat. It’s bereft of any syrupy unpleasant aftertaste.”

Jeff: “Bereft? Who says that???”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “I will say that if someone like sodas on the sweeter side, this may be a bit too bland for their taste buds.”

Jeff: “Good point Jeff and it has to be consumed cold immediately because it doesn’t taste great at all as it heads toward room temperature. Now can you turn off that Prodigy CD? Damn you have bad taste in music too!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “Look I drank it, leave me alone yo. This world doesn’t need more suits, what happened to you and your dreams of becoming an artist? Oooh, lookatme I’m too busy looking up laws and shit, I’m so important, lookatme…Big deal bozo!”

Jeff: “SHUT UP…And note in a year, when a woman buys you a New Monkees CD to impress you, she is hinting that she wants to date you. NOT talk about all thirteen episodes of the damned show you idiot!” (Kicks 1995 Jeff in the baklavas)

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (Wriggles in pain and disappears in a flash back to the land of horrible Ace of Base singles)

So there you have it. If you like Diet Mountain Dew, I recommend you give Mello Yello Zero a pull. The soda doesn’t have a strong artificial sweetness that I find in other diet drinks. I also recommend you stay away from those Ace of Base singles…yeesh.

(Nutrition Facts – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Mello Yello Zero
Price: $3.00 for a 12 pack case
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It is quite refreshing if cold. Not overly sweet. Time travelling to warn yourself of the upcoming pitfalls. Low in the sodium department. Varied enough to not taste like Diet Mountain Dew. New Monkees.
Cons: It is quite yucky if it starts to reach room temperature. The color will remind you of glow sticks. Time traveling may cause Butterfly effect (the theory, not the stupid film). May be too low in the sweet department for some. May be a miss for fans who like Diet Mountain Dew. Ace of Base.

NEWS: Subway Testing Spicy Wasabi and Creamy Gorgonzola Sauces

/ / Fast Food News / 12 Comments

Happy Wasabi

Whenever you go to Subway, you have a plethora of sauces you can add to your sandwich. I likey the honey mustard or good ol’ light mayonnaise and mustard. But in Minnesota, Subway is now offering a couple more sauces to choose from — gorgonzola and wasabi sauces.

Yup, wasabi, the spicy green paste that comes with your sushi.

The television advertisement below promotes the Subway sandwiches that use the sauces — the Wasabi Steak and Cheese and Gorgonzola Chicken and Bacon Melt.

No information about the two sauces are available on the Subway website. I’m not sure if they’re only available in Minnesota, but if you’ve seen them at your local Subway location, let us know in the comments below. Also, if you tried the Subway wasabi or gorgonzola sauce, let us know what you think of them.

Image via flickr user dmuth / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: IHOP Throws A Bunch of Stuff That’s Not Ketchup on Hash Browns

/ / Fast Food News / 1 Comment

IHOP Edmond

Hash browns are my favorite part of breakfast because, as I’ve said before, potato + hot oil = delicious. As much as I love hash browns, I don’t make them at home because I’ve been told I’m dangerous with graters.

Whenever I have hash browns at a fine breakfast establishment, I squirt enough ketchup on it to get a full serving of vegetables and that’s all I need. I thought ketchup was the only thing one could put on top of hash browns, but IHOP’s Hash Brown Stacks have shown me that one can throw almost anything on top of them.

IHOP’s Hash Brown Stacks come in four varieties:

Spinach & Mushroom Hash Brown Stack РHash browns topped with saut̩ed spinach and mushrooms, Provolone cheese, sliced tomato, an over-medium egg, hollandaise sauce and green onions.

Bacon & Cheddar Hash Brown Stack – Hash browns topped with diced bacon, Cheddar cheese, sliced tomato, an over-medium egg, rich hollandaise sauce, green onions, and then more diced bacon.

Ham & Swiss Hash Brown Stack – Hash browns topped with grilled ham, Swiss cheese, sliced tomato, an over-medium egg, hollandaise sauce and green onions.

SIMPLE & FIT Spinach & Mushroom Hash Brown Stack РHash browns topped with saut̩ed spinach and mushrooms, Provolone cheese, sliced tomato, scrambled egg substitute and green onions. To keep things simple and fit, this Hash Brown Stack is served with fresh fruit.

IHOP’s Hash Brown Stacks are available at participating restaurants until February 19 and have a suggested retail price of $5.99. They are served with your choice of fresh fruit or two buttermilk pancakes.

Now go watch the IHOP Hash Brown Stack commercial, say WTF in your head, and then wonder about the quality of advertising nowadays.

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