FLAVORS OF THE MONTH: May 2011

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Here are this month’s limited time offers.

Baskin Robbins’ Flavor of the Month is Golden Oreo Gold Rush! Yes, the exclamation point is part of its name. The bright yellow flavor is made up of lemon custard ice cream with Oreo icing ribbon and Golden Oreo cookie pieces mixed in. A 2.5-ounce scoop has 220 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

This month, Slurpee released a new flavor called Summertime Lime, which combines lime with a hint of vanilla. But I wonder how many people are going drop a little mixology and combine Summertime Lime Slurpee with tequila or their favorite hard liquor? This seasonal Slurpee has no caffeine and is made using natural flavors, but contains no juice. An 8-ounce serving contains 65 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, and 17 grams of sugar.

Dairy Queen’s May Blizzard of the Month is German Chocolate Brownie, which is made up of vanilla soft serve, chewy brownie pieces, pecan pieces, caramel, and coconut. To be honest, I’ve never heard of German chocolate brownies until reading about this Blizzard. Thanks DQ for educating me. I forgive you for coming up with the word “RIDQULOUS.” If you want to read a review, On Second Scoop posted one. A small serving of German Chocolate Brownie Blizzard has 700 calories, 34 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 90 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 67 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

Finally, Subway’s $5 Featured Footlong of the month is the Orchard Chicken Salad sub, which isn’t a new sandwich. It’s been around for several years, but when it’s been available, it’s only for a limited time, much like it is this month. If you’ve never experienced the Orchard Chicken Salad sub, it’s made using chicken chunks, apples, golden raisins, cranberries, and celery mixed with a light mayo. Grub Grade and Brand Eating both reviewed the sandwich last year. A six-inch Orchard Chicken Salad sub has 350 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 20 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum

Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum

When I picked up the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum, I wondered why they would call it that when there’s an Orange Creamsicle printed on the front of the packaging. And then I thought why would they create a gum that emulates something that happens to imitate something else. That something is an orange cream soda, and that something else is an Orange Creamsicle.

Now, at this point, some of you might be yelling at your computer monitor calling me an idiot because you’ve seen what’s wrong with the picture I’ve painted in my head. And some of you might be following the same wrong path my mind took while trying to figure this out. But here is where I right the ship.

“Pop” is a synonym for soda, although I’ve never called it “pop.” I’ve always called it “soda” because that’s what the fizzing voices from an open Pepsi tell me I should call it. But because I saw the word “pop” and orange cream soda exists in the world, I put two and two together and thought the gum was trying to emulate the flavor of an orange cream soda, which tries to taste like an Orange Creamsicle. Eventually, I realized that when I originally put two and two together, I got 22 when I should’ve gotten four.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the gum was named after a soda, but had a picture of an Orange Creamsicle on its packaging. I even bought a six-pack of orange cream soda, hoping that the fizzing voices from an open bottle would tell me why. The only word I heard when I put my ear next to the bottle’s neck was…Wikipedia.

I searched for “Creamsicle” on Wikipedia and was directed to the Popsicle page. Yes, a capital P with a circled R near the end to designated it as a register trademark. At this point, I realized “pop” was the non-trademarked term companies can call their frozen treats without getting letters from Unilever’s lawyers. Also at this point, I thought I shouldn’t tell anyone about my stupidity, but then I couldn’t come up with an intro for this Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum review, so here we are.

Of course, this confusion could’ve been avoided if Wrigley’s teamed up with the Popsicle brand and called it “Orange Creamsicle.” Or they could’ve called it “Orange Creme Frozen Dessert Treat,” but I imagine the graphic designer designing the box would not be pleased with that horribly wordy name. Or I could’ve realized that orange cream soda is not a dessert.

Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum Naked

The Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum smells like orange Metamucil, which is something no product other than orange Metamucil should smell like. After putting the gum into my mouth it starts off with a strong orange flavor, then after several chews the creme part comes in, and it’s not bad. But after 45 seconds, its flavor dramatically drops. If I was a woman and the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum was a lover on top of me and he was done in 45 seconds, I’d be pissed.

However, since I’m a man, although with boobs, and the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum is just gum, I shouldn’t be pissed, but I am. When the flavor diminished, what I was left with was a very mild orange flavor until I decided to spit it out, or throw it into the hair of someone I think needs a haircut.

That very mild orange flavor is the major problem with it. At this point, it doesn’t taste like an orange creme frozen dessert treat. It’s just orange without the vanilla, and that folks is…vanilla.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 gram of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum
Price: $1.19
Size: 15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Flavor for the first 45 seconds is not bad. It’s sugarfree gum. 5 calories per stick, which I just burned whille typing this review. Orange Creamsicles. Wikipedia.
Cons: Smells like orange Metamucil. Too much orange, but not enough creme. My slow mind. Pissing off graphic designers. Putting two and two together and getting 22. A 45 second man.

NEWS: Arby’s Brings Back An Old Favorite and Introduces Its Much Younger and Skinnier Sister

Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich

Arby’s, the producer of Horsey Sauce, is bringing back an old favorite and a twist on that old favorite. The Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich is back again and it brought with it the less bready Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Wrap.

The Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad menu items have grilled chicken, diced red apples, crunchy pecans, celery, and red grapes in between either honey wheat bread or a whole grain flatbread wrap. It sure sounds tasty, but it also sounds healthy. After all, it’s got fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains. If that don’t make a nutritionist’s nipples hard, then I don’t know what will. However, looking at the nutrition facts, it might make a nutritionist’s nipples retract.

The Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich has 840 calories, 400 calories from fat, 44 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 1220 milligrams of sodium, 82 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.

The Grilled Chicken and Pecan Salad Wrap is slightly better at 630 calories, 370 calories from fat, 41 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 1020 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

Well, at least, you’ll be able to get some fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and maybe some Arby’s curly fries from it.

The Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich and Wrap are available for a limited time at participating restaurants.

NEWS: Dunkin’ Donuts Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich Makes Me Wonder What Else I Could Turn Into Sandwich Buns

Before it was popular to make fried chicken filets into sandwich buns, but after it was popular to make pancakes into sandwich buns, Dunkin’ Donuts turned waffles into sandwich buns. While Dunkin’ Donuts’ original Waffle Breakfast Sandwich is gone, they’re bringing back waffles as buns with their new Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich.

The sandwich is constructed using two blueberry flavored waffles, a scrambled egg, a maple flavored sausage and a slice of American cheese. The only way it could be any better is if it was stuffed in between two pancakes, and then placed in between two fried chicken filets.

The Blueberry Waffle Sandwich has 550 calories, 350 calories from fat, 38 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 235 milligrams of cholesterol, 1250 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 20 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 20% calcium, and 15% iron.

REVIEW: Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreo

Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreo

Spring has finally sprung in the Northeast, so all sorts of great things are happening! Grass is rising. Birds are singing. People are getting tan. My hay fever is so bad that I am wondering if cutting off my nose would really be all that spiteful to my face. Most importantly, “Writers from New Jersey review new Oreo flavors” Week is going on at The Impulsive Buy! (All of our themed weeks are incredibly wordy, exactingly descriptive, and don’t follow the normal Sunday-Saturday week schedule.)

Nabisco’s latest non-fudge-covered Oreo is the Berry Burst Ice Cream edition. I can’t find any information online about this new flavor, so we’re left to our own devices when it comes to figuring out which berries are included in the “Berry Burst.” I was hoping for a combination of blackberries (fruit), Blackberrys (phones), and Halle Berry circa 2001.

Once I actually bought and opened the package, it became obvious that the primary and perhaps only berry flavor involved was strawberry. Despite my stuffy nose, I was hit by a strawberry aroma that strongly reminded me of Special K Red Berries cereal. The scent was very pleasant and surprisingly not-too-artificial.

Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreo Naked

The filling did taste like a really sweet batch of strawberry ice cream. There were little red specks that I imagine were supposed to be tiny berry shards, but they didn’t add anything in texture or taste. Since these Oreos seemed to be single stuffed rather than Double Stuf, the strawberry flavor became a bit too understated when I ate the cookies whole (“whole” meaning without taking them apart, not meaning eaten in a single bite… though, you know, there’s no wrong way to eat an Oreo).

I never got a chance to try the limited edition Strawberry Milkshake Crème Oreos in 2008, and I have a sneaking suspicion that they’ve recently been re-named and re-packaged. Even if that’s the case, these Berry Burst / Strawberry Milkshake Oreos are fairly tasty, so if you love Oreos to begin with, go ahead and give them a try. Apologies that this review is on the short side, but I really have to get going – X-Men, Swordfish, and Monster’s Ball aren’t going to add themselves to my Netflix queue.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 1gram of protein.)

Other Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreo reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreo
Price: $2.99
Size: 15.25 ounces
Purchased at: Kmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant and not-too-artificial smell. Filling tastes like strawberry ice cream. Spring has sprung. Halle Berry circa 2001. Eating cookies whole. TIB theme weeks.
Cons: Flavor becomes too understated when you eat the cookies without taking them apart. Not really any berries other than strawberries. Might just be the same product Nabisco came out with three years ago. Seasonal hay fever.

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