RANDOMNESS: Introducing Awesome Online Money Making Blog

/ / Announcement / 3 Comments

Aommb

I know it seems like every year I introduce a new blog and then it dies within a month due to neglect like it was a Tamagotchi in the back of a desk drawer (see The Impulsive Download and Cereal Mashup). But I’m teaming up with a friend to start up another new blog and this time the chances of it sticking around for more than a month are absolutely awesome, because it’s already been around for more than a month.

So what’s this new blog called? Awesome Online Money Making Blog. What’s it about? Well, I guess our About page covers it best:

Ever dream of making money in your underwear?  Awesome Online Money Making Blog is your guide to making your half-naked dreams come true.  We fuck your brain with tips and hints to help you make money online and we give it to you hard.  We also assist you to become better online attention whores through blogging, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and whatever social network becomes trendy over the next few years.  If you can produce shit that no one cares about, we’ll help you make at least one person give a shit and monetize whatever dribble you send out into cyberspace.   If we can’t monetize your blog, then no one will be able to monetize it, and if we can’t monetize it, then you should smash your computer into pieces with a sledgehammer and get a real job.

Disclaimer: We are not online money making experts. You will probably not make any money or gain any fame with the tips we provide you. However, if you do make lots of money using our hints and tips, please let us know so that we can start to call ourselves “online money making experts,” which again, we are not at this time.

So if you’re interested in learning useless online money making hints and tips, check out Awesome Online Money Making Blog.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Stuffed Breadsticks (Pepperoni & Cheese and Cheeseburger)

/ / Reviews / 6 Comments

Dunkin' Donuts Stuffed Breadsticks

For those of you who have busy Mondays, here’s a short review, in haiku form, of the Dunkin’ Donuts Stuffed Breadsticks:

Like bad Hot Pockets
Less filling, blander tasting
Same burns in my mouth

For those of you who are looking to waste some time on Monday, stick around for further elaboration (and rest assured that it will be elaborate).

I believe it was Tolstoy who once wrote, “Tasty fast food items are all alike; every crappy fast food item is crappy in its own way.” To this principle I must add a corollary which shall forevermore be known as the Stuffed Breadsticks Corollary: “… but some crappy fast food items are crappy IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE.”

Dunkin’ Donuts is offering their newest concoction in two flavors, Pepperoni & Cheese and Cheeseburger. Both varieties of Stuffed Breadsticks had very little stuffing, and all the tiny chunks of meat had slid down to the bottom of the breadsticks by the time I started eating. To set up the second photo, I had to dig around the breadsticks with my fork like I was trying to reach the fruit at the bottom of a yogurt container.

Dunkin' Donuts Stuffed Breadsticks Innards

I ate multiple bites of only bread before reaching any meat. The bread was tasteless, too chewy, weirdly pale where it hadn’t been toasted, and droopy to the point of shape-shifting. So it failed on the dimensions of taste, visual presentation, texture, and even shape, which hadn’t struck me as a significant feature of bread until just now. (Now that we’re heading off on a tangent, what would you say are the best and worst shaped breads? After careful consideration, I would nominate Challah bread as the best and – you guessed it – these breadsticks as the worst.)

Things didn’t get any better once I finally got to the stuffing. The Cheeseburger breadstick supposedly contained ground beef, cheese, and mustard, but all these ingredients were so bland that I couldn’t really taste anything. If I had to pick one taste sensation that I felt, I’d say there was a sort of sweetness to the filling. That doesn’t speak very well to Dunkin’ Donuts’ ability to recreate the taste of a cheeseburger; I’d estimate that I’ve said “Sweet, cheeseburgers!” (interjection to express excitement over anticipated cheeseburger consumption) roughly a million more times than I’ve said “sweet cheeseburgers” (descriptive phrase to communicate actual flavor of previously consumed cheeseburgers).

The Pepperoni & Cheese breadstick was definitely the better tasting of the two, but that’s about as much of an accomplishment as being the most useful poopy-flavored lollipop, or being the most entertaining re-appropriated Ben Stiller movie quote, or being the TIB writer who uses the fewest commas. The pepperoni pieces look and taste exactly like the meat in pepperoni Hot Pockets. They add a certain zest to the breadstick’s overall flavor, but the cheese and sauce contributed nothing to the eating experience except the burning destruction of my mouth.

Even the price was crappy. With each Stuffed Breadstick costing $1.79, two breadsticks and a small iced tea will run you over $5, which is enough to get you a much heartier and tastier combo from any number of fast food restaurants, Dunkin’ Donuts itself included.

In case I haven’t made myself clear yet, here’s another haiku to wrap things up:

These Dunkin’ Donuts
Breadsticks fail in taste, look, cost
DON’T GET THEM, EVER.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stuffed breadstick – Pepperoni & Cheese – 210 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein. Cheeseburger – 200 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 400 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Stuffed Breadsticks (Pepperoni & Cheese and Cheeseburger)
Price: $1.79 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Dunkin Donuts
Rating: 1 out of 10 (Cheeseburger)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Pepperoni & Cheese)
Pros: Pepperoni pieces were sort of tasty. Haikus. Challah bread. “Sweet, cheeseburgers!” as interjection.
Cons: Not much stuffing in either Stuffed Breadstick. Bread was bland. Cheeseburger stuffing was bland. Pepperoni & Cheese stuffing burned my mouth. Kind of pricey. “Sweet cheeseburgers” as descriptive phrase. Poopy-flavored lollipops.

NEWS: Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco Sounds Like The Work Of Creative Stoners

/ / Fast Food News / 4 Comments

Doritos

Now that’s what I’m talking about, bitches! And when I say, “bitches,” I mean Taco Bell.

According to a post at TIB’s plutonic friend, Grub Grade, Taco Bell is testing out in select markets the Doritos Locos Tacos, which is a taco made with a shell that basically a taco-shaped Doritos Nacho Cheese chip.

After doing a bit more digging, I came upon a YouTube video from July 2010 of someone trying the Doritos Locos Tacos. So Taco Bell has been testing it for a while. After doing more digging, it turns out the Doritos Locos Tacos come in regular and supreme versions, which retail for 99 cents and $1.29, respectively.

To be honest, this makes me a little happy because it’s something I always hoped Taco Bell would release. If the Doritos Locos Taco is rolled out nationally, my gut looks forward to it.

Source: Grub Grade and NeoGAF Forums

REVIEW: MiO Liquid Water Enhancer (Berry Pomegranate, Fruit Punch, Mango Peach, Peach Tea, Strawberry Watermelon & Sweet Tea)

/ / Reviews / 54 Comments

MiO Liquid Water Enhancer (Peach Tea, Strawberry Watermelon & Sweet Tea)

MiO Liquid Water Enhancer enhances water in two ways. It turns it into a festive color, and it makes water taste less like water. Sure, there are lots of water enhancers on the market, like Tang, Kool-Aid, Metamucil, and Crystal Light, but all of them come as powder.

Ugh, if you’re lazy like me, you probably hate powder, because we don’t have time to stir and dissolve crystals. We’re parched and our thirsts needs quenching right now.

MiO come in an orchard of flavors: Berry Pomegranate, Fruit Punch, Mango Peach, Peach Tea, Strawberry Watermelon, and Sweet Tea. Like plain ol’ water, MiO flavored waters have no calories and no sugar. But unlike water, MiOed water looks FABULOUS, thanks to the following food colorings: Blue 1, Red 40, Yellow 5, and Yellow 6.

Each bottle makes 24 eight-ounce servings, but how much MiO does it take to turn eight-ounces of regular water into MiOed water? Half a teaspoon. But there lies the conundrum. The mechanism that dispenses the MiO from the bottle is activated when the bottle is squeezed. Yes, I just used 16 words to tell you that the MiO comes in a squeeze bottle.

Because the fruity moneyshot is quite violent, it’s hard to determine how much of it is coming out per squeeze. Also, “a squeeze” is subjective. An aunt of mine thinks a 15 second bear hug is just a squeeze, while another aunt thinks a hug beyond three seconds pushes up against her tolerance to how long someone can invade her personal space.

Sure, we could grab a spoon and squeeze half a teaspoon into it, but only squares who also use a Pyrex measuring cup to measure the eight ounces of water needed to make a serving of MiO flavored water would do that.

As I mentioned earlier, when MiO is squeezed out of the bottle, it’s powerful. So much so that it disperses itself in the water, making it unnecessary to stir. This is possible because of physics and fluid dynamics, but let’s just say it’s because of magic. After the magic happens, you’re left with something better tasting than what you began with, and again, it looks FABULOUS.

MiO Liquid Water Enhancer (Berry Pomegranate, Fruit Punch & Mango Peach)

Strawberry Watermelon was the worst tasting of the six. I could taste both fruits, along with a slight floral flavor, but it all was extremely artificial tasting and, at times, hard to drink. It’s a flavor that I think would be more suitable for a kid’s toothpaste or mouthwash, and it makes me want to settle for plain water.

Mango Peach has a strong artificial peach scent. I tasted peach at the front and a little bit of mango at the back. At first, I thought it was as bad as the Strawberry Watermelon, but it grew on me a little bit. Peach Tea has a much weaker artificial peach scent and noticeably lighter peach flavor than the Mango Peach. The tea flavor lingers in the background. It’s not bad, and I like it as much as the Mango Peach. Both have a peach flavor that’s might be too fake for some.

Berry Pomegranate smells nice, but then again, so do midday strippers. It has a pleasant flavor that almost tastes like grape, and it’s not as artificial tasting as the peach flavors. It’s definitely a step better than the previous three. Sweet Tea is the weird one of the group because it’s the only one that’s not fruity. It tastes like sweetened Lipton iced tea, but not as strong. It also doesn’t taste as artificial as some of the others. I like it as much as Berry Pomegranate.

Fruit Punch was the least offensive smelling of the bunch, and it tastes similar to other fruit punch beverage I’ve had. I thought it had a nice fruity flavor, and the least artificial tasting of the six flavors. It’s definitely my favorite of the six.

Unfortunately, not even the Fruit Punch flavor can escape from what’s common found with drinks that contain artificial sweeteners. The sucralose and acesulfame potassium sweeteners leave behind a temporary coating in your mouth for you to enjoy.

According to the bottle and the MiO commercial, you can add more flavor by squeezing a little more of it into the water. But, I found with the ones that already have a strong artificial flavor, it makes them taste even more so, which in turn makes them less palatable.

Overall, I do think the MiO flavors that I enjoy could encourage me to drink more water, which is a good thing since I probably get half of what I’m supposed to drink each day. Although, I squeezed some MiO Fruit Punch into my Pepsi Max and turned it into a tasty fruity cola, so instead of water, I might just be drinking more Pepsi Max.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp. – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: MiO Liquid Water Enhancer
Price: $4.29
Size: 1.62 fluid ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Berry Pomegranate)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Fruit Punch)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Mango Peach)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Peach Tea)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Strawberry Watermelon)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Sweet Tea)
Pros: Portable. No calories or sugar. Fruit punch is tasty. Sweet Tea and Berry Pomegranate are good. Can add it to other beverages. No need to stir. Colors are FABULOUS. May make me drink more water. Awesome white t-shirt stainer.
Cons: Strawberry Watermelon is the opposite of tasty. Peach flavors might be too fake for some. Midday strippers. Artificial sweeteners leave a temporary coating in your mouth. Hard to measure a squeeze. Making powder dissolve.

NEWS: Taco Bell’s Cheesy Double Decker Taco Is Cheeserrific, But Not Very Creative

/ / Fast Food News / 5 Comments

Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco Display

Update: Click here to read our Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco review

Taco Bell’s Double Decker Taco is my favorite menu item to eat on their vast board of kinda-but-not-really Mexican food. There’s something about the combination of a warm, soft flour tortilla, filled with beans, wrapped around a taco that contains seasoned beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and shredded lettuce that makes me crave it like a recently converted vegetarian craves meat.

It’s like Taco Bell Frankensteined their taco with their bean burrito.

This week, Taco Bell introduced a variation of their Double Decker Taco, the Cheesy Double Decker Taco. Now you might be asking yourself, but doesn’t it already have cheese? Yes, it does, but when Taco Bell adds “cheesy” to the name of a product, it’s the kitchen code word for a hearty helping of their nacho cheese sauce.

The Cheesy Double Decker Taco has 350 calories, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

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