SPOTTED: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Root Beer Float Cereal

This just begs for ice cream, or even better, melted ice cream. (Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)
If you spotted something new, send your photos to [email protected].

This just begs for ice cream, or even better, melted ice cream. (Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)
If you spotted something new, send your photos to [email protected].

Tony’s Chocolonely isn’t so lonely on the inside. They’re filled with love, and by “love,” I mean sweet goo. (Spotted by Julie at Walmart.)
If you spotted something new, send your photos to [email protected].

Yee haw! Grab all four boxes! They’re probably all the same flavor, so you better love vanilla loops. (Spotted by Robbie at Target.)
If you spotted something new, send your photos to [email protected].

For a millisecond, Khloud Nacho Protein Chips have a crispy texture like a fresh, thin tortilla chip you’d get at a Mexican restaurant. But after that fraction of a second passes, it’s nothing but disappointment from then on.
Before I even get to the flavor, let’s talk about the texture. The way these dissolve in my mouth is, um, how can I put this nicely? Unsettling? They look like normal triangular tortilla chips, so you’d expect them to have the same texture as normal triangular tortilla chips.

But that common triangle shape hid the fact that they break down easily and crumble in your mouth the way you’d expect a tortilla chip to break down in your stomach. It’s a weird feeling, and one that I don’t like experiencing. And while there is a sound and sensation when biting into these chips, I’m not sure I’d call it a crunch. It’s more like an unch.

Equally bad was the cheesiness, or lack thereof. If they were super cheesy, it might’ve made up a little for the unsettling texture. But they’re nowhere near Doritos-level cheesy. If Chester Cheetah were to eat these, he’d be like, “It ain’t easy being a snack brand, now is it, Khloe?” There was a light nacho cheesiness, but it quickly got warped by the underlying tortilla chip base made from corn and pea protein that tastes like it has more pea protein than corn. And, of course, the crumbly texture doesn’t help at all.
Not even the seven grams of protein per serving is enough to make this worth buying. If you really want a crunchy protein snack from a Kardashian, you’d help your mouth out by going with Khloud Popcorn instead. These need to go back to the drawing board, which probably has the same texture as these chips. Maybe a little less focus on the protein and a little more focus on the pleasures of chip eating should’ve happened.
Now I can’t compare these with other protein chips since I haven’t tried any. But my experience with these makes me wonder if all protein chips are this bad. So if you’re passing by these Khloud Nacho Protein Chips at the store, and you’re curious about them, just remember, “Curiosity killed the khat.”
Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 5 oz bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 13 chips – 30 g) 170 calories, 11 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of total sugars, and 7 grams of protein.

Have my taste buds have been spoiled?
Monster Ultra Energy Drinks have been my go-to energy drink for years because they’re sweet, and despite being zero sugar beverages, they usually don’t taste like it. So after one sip of Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Zero Sugar French Vanilla, I found myself wondering, given all the sweetener advancements we’ve seen over the past few years, why am I tasting something so disappointing?
I’m no food scientist, and if my high school and college science grades are any indication, I don’t have a strong grasp of science period. But I did get a C- in a college logic class, so I feel I can say with some confidence that because there are great tasting zero sugar drinks, there should be a way to make tasty zero sugar coffee energy drinks without them tasting like I’m licking artificial sweetener packets at a diner.

Along with the French Vanilla, which has a flavor that tastes like I was drinking sugar free French Vanilla creamer straight from the bottle, there’s also a Dark Chocolate variety, and if I had to choose between the two, I’d go with the latter. Something about the cocoa makes the artificial sweetener taste, which comes from sucralose and inositol, a little more tolerable. But both have an aftertaste I can only describe as medicinal. There’s no mistaking these are zero sugar beverages, and I feel like more could’ve been done to hide that. But they’re milky and creamy, which is better than watery, but it would’ve helped if these were also delicious.

Also, as I’ve complained about before with Starbucks’ ready-to-drink coffee beverages, the can doesn’t say how much caffeine it has. So you don’t have to go digging, I scanned the PepsiCo website, which says these have 160 milligrams of caffeine, which is 25 more than most standard Starbucks Doubleshot Energy drinks.
While I’m throwing numbers around like a livestock auctioneer, let me throw out a few more. These are zero sugar but not zero calorie — the French Vanilla has 80 calories and the Dark Chocolate has 90. More surprisingly, both have 10 grams of protein, which the regular Starbucks Doubleshot line also has. So get yo’ gains. And they each have two grams of fiber. So get yo’ fiber gains too.
As someone who drinks a lot of zero sugar energy drinks, sodas, and sparkling waters, I’m disappointed with how these taste. Unlike my high school and college science grades, they’re not awful. But like my college logic class grade, they’re disappointing.
Purchased Price: $3.28 each
Size: 15 fl oz cans
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10 (French Vanilla), 5 out of 10 (Dark Chocolate)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) French Vanilla – 80 calories, 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.Dark Chocolate – 90 calories 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 7 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.