I don’t start thinking about Christmas until coffee shops tell me to start thinking about Christmas.

If I walk into a random store on November 1st and see Christmas decorations? Bah, Humbug! Now, if I walk into Dunkin’ and see its Christmas menu is out, Mariah Carey and her golden pipes appear like an apparition out of thin air, and we dance like no one is watching.

I’ve been asked to leave three Dunkin’ locations and two Starbucks already this month, but I never argued, and they always asked nicely. It must be that holiday spirit Dunkin’ is bringing to the table with festive flavorings such as peppermint, spiced cookie, toasted white chocolate, and, of course, everyone’s favorite yuletide treat… Loaded Hash Browns.

Ok, that’s not exactly a Christmas staple, but if Dunkin’ says it is, who am I to argue? Potatoes, meat, and cheese are kinda Christmassy, and Uncle Kev always gets loaded at the family Christmas party.

Loaded Hash Browns will henceforth be a holiday season tradition. You got a problem with that? Take it up with Dunkin’. Not me. I clearly don’t like confrontation, but I do like these Loaded Hash Browns. I like them a lot, actually.

Your opinion will probably depend on how much you enjoy Dunkin’s hash browns. I think they’re a great little snack to counter their sugary treats, and any time I take advantage of a “Free Coffee with Purchase” deal, I usually order hash browns.

Loaded Hash Browns consist of said hash browns doused with (not much) jalapeño queso and topped with crumbled bacon.

I really enjoy Dunkin’s hash browns because they always have a little zestiness to them. The bacon is actually pretty flavorful as well, and while the jalapeño doesn’t exactly pop much, it does kick that proprietary zest up twofold. That said, these really aren’t spicy at all.

I’ve eaten this three times since its release, and each time the hash browns and bacon have been crisped to perfection. Getting consistently good bacon at any fast food place is rare, so it’s one of the big reasons I’ve kept going back.

On the flip side, the cheese sauce has been pretty lacking each time. That might bother some people, but I actually think it’s the perfect amount. You get a consistently crispy bite from hash brown one to hash brown nine. Dunkin’ advertises nine, but I got ten once. It was a Christmas miracle!

It’s not all perfection though. This little cup of browns is one of the saltiest things I’ve eaten in a while, and I chugged a shaker of salt for dinner last week.

At four bucks, I don’t consider this the best deal in the world, but you get a decent amount of bacon, and it’s a perfect “hold me over” snack that pairs well with a sweet drink. I kinda hope Dunkin’ goes even more “loaded” with the next iteration and crack an egg in there. Maybe that’ll be a Christmas ’24 thing.

My one major complaint is that I didn’t get a Christmas-themed cup once. If that happens again, I’m getting kicked out of another Dunkin’.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 340 calories, 22 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 mg of cholesterol, 1240 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.